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telephone contact with absent parent

60 replies

msann · 14/12/2004 13:06

ex wants twice weekly telephone contact with our two girls (5 & 7) hes only recently resumed contact (6 months ago) after 18 months without seeing them. hes taking me to court to get telephone contact...any1 with previous experience? any1 else who wud b against the idea like me?

OP posts:
Caligulights · 14/12/2004 15:15

They are both totally unsuitable carers of children. I find it absolutely despicable for anyone to tell a child to lie to its parents. And as for telling your children she's going to be their stepmother when she's not even sure the relationship is permanent - well, it's outrageous that you should have to send your children anywhere near these people.

gothicsanta · 14/12/2004 15:15

it sounds as tho she knows the system > i wish I was more able to help you perhaps wig and robe is teh best person . It sounds as tho you have all these emotions running about your head take time out for you and try not to worry about what may happen easier said than done I know big hugs to you

msann · 14/12/2004 15:20

ty guys ....feeling a little more now ... havent solved much but have got it off my chest!

OP posts:
gothicsanta · 14/12/2004 15:21

glad you feel a bit better, keep talking -

snowmeltsonthebeach · 14/12/2004 15:30

Does he have your phone number at the moment or is this just a ruse to get it and harrass you further?

msann · 14/12/2004 15:44

he does not have my phone number at the moment - and i want it to stay that way!

OP posts:
Caligulights · 14/12/2004 16:05

I don't see how a court would agree with him that he has the right to have your phone number. I would simply not give it to him. Can't you just claim that you don't have a phone? It's not mandatory. Many people nowadays don't have landlines anymore, just mobiles, so a court would be more likely to find it unreasonable for him to be given your mobile number, especially when it is not currently used by your children.

jupiter · 15/12/2004 20:14

MSANN I have been through something very similar. I can totally understand where you are coming from.

My children's father is an abusive man, he assaulted my children, my children told the school, the social worker, the police and it was their (2 of them interviewed separately) word against his. He made me out to be this emotional woman who put the words into their heads. Which I would NEVER do as they are my children and I didnt have a problem with their father until he abused them.

When you go to court (if it cannot be sorted out through your solicitors) ask for a CAFCAS officer who will mediate between the two of you. They will sit down with you both either together or separately and hear both sides of the story equally.

Although must say everyone on the legal side believed my ex until the last court case. Where he showed himself up to be a complete and utter prat.

He has telephone contact a number of times a week although doesnt use all those times, he did at first then the novelty just wore off. Get yourself a display phone, then you can get the children to answer it when he calls and you dont have to speak to him. Limit the phone calls to however long you wish for him to speak to them.

But do explain to the courts that you have been threatened in the past and your concerns for the childrens safety and your own, if you have police record numbers then all the better.

Like someone else mentioned keep a diary of all the calls and what was said you will need it in the future at some point if this carries on.

Take care and all the best.

Caligulights · 15/12/2004 20:25

And keep diaries of any threats, intimidation, abusive behaviour etc. and keep boring the court with them. Eventually, someone might get fed up and decide to take them seriously.

pedilia · 15/12/2004 20:51

msann,
maker interesting reading I was at my solicitors this morning discussing that very issue, ex has had very haphazard contact with DS, he has been violent to me twice and both times DS was hurt.

My solicitor advised I do nothing I feel uncomfortable with while considering best interests of DS, I feel the same as you he is invading my privacy. However I have agreed set days and times for him to phone, if he breaks this it goes against him in court not me.

Good luck with whatever you decide

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