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Original poster

Make me feel better for spending all my savings

37 replies

haveifuckedup · 22/07/2023 08:14

I don't want to go into too much detail but I have a toddler and I managed to get a temporary accommodation flat for us due to domestic violence at home. I had £10k saved up and I have spent almost all of it on furniture etc for the flat and making it nice for us. I hate not having that safety net to fall back on, I feel so vulnerable. Have I made a mistake? I work part time and receive universal credit, housing benefit, child benefit etc.

OP posts:
TreesWelliesKnees · 22/07/2023 08:17

You got yourself and your child to a safe place. You're making the safe place a nice place to be for you both. I think you're doing amazingly well. Be kind to yourself.

Original poster
haveifuckedup · 22/07/2023 08:18

@TreesWelliesKnees ffs that made me cry, thank you so much. Feel like I've been so irresponsible

OP posts:
Namechangedforthis2244 · 22/07/2023 08:21

You have managed to get yourself and your toddler to safely. That is hugely protective and you are much less vulnerable now than you were. Stop feeling disappointed in yourself - you should feel hugely proud of what you’ve done. Savings are for rainy days and that’s what you’ve used yours for.

I do agree with you that savings are important so now that you’re settled in your position I’d make a plan to not touch whatever is left, and to start adding to it. Even if you can only afford to put in a few pounds a month psychologically if you turn that corner you’ll feel less vulnerable I think.

Good luck for your new life!

obladeeobladah · 22/07/2023 08:22

Sorry for what you have gone through.

Personally I think that's a huge amount of money to spend on furniture etc. I would have bought from ebay/marketplace and saved the money for emergencies.

Campervangirl · 22/07/2023 08:26

Give yourself a break, you've made a home for your little family.
I assume most of the money went on furnishing the flat so you can take it with you when you get permanent housing?
It's not money wasted.
I like a buffer to fall back on too.
I have an amount in my head that I don't like my savings to fall below (I've never needed this amount, luckily)
Now you're settled for the time being can you start putting a few quid away a month?
Might take a while to build up another 10k 😁 but if you can save a little each month that will give you a buffer in case anything pops up.
Congrats on your new, albeit temporary, home.

Original poster
haveifuckedup · 22/07/2023 08:26

@Namechangedforthis2244 thank you so much

I have about £3k left and £1k in an ISA and will definitely try and save some more now

@obladeeobladah it hasn't been easy because I live on a top floor flat on top of a shop - nowhere to park and no lift and I'm personally not able to carry heavy furniture up all those stairs so have had to pay for help. Flat was also mouldy when I moved in and needed a deep clean 😩

OP posts:
araresight · 22/07/2023 08:27

Perhaps emotionally you just needed to do it in order to create a nice, safe home for you both. It's happened now so enjoy it! You've been in an unsafe situation and so needed the comfort of a nicely furnished home.

Are you in a position to start saving up again? You'll feel better once you see the numbers go up in your savings account once more.

Original poster
haveifuckedup · 22/07/2023 08:28

@Campervangirl thank you, that was my thinking as well the furniture I can take with me wherever I end up so it's not a total waste. And the council have told me I can be in temporary accommodation for years so I wanted to make it somewhat nice

OP posts:
Original poster
haveifuckedup · 22/07/2023 08:29

@araresight thank you, I hope so but I'm not sure, I don't know yet how much housing benefit so I guess it depends on that

OP posts:
NorthWestThree · 22/07/2023 08:33

You got yourself and your child to safety and you have made a nice home for yourself and that I really important. You deserve a nice place to call home. You and your child deserve nice furniture and a happy environment. Escaping domestic violence is awful and traumatic and this is your new start, your clean slate and it's OK that you have spent money on that.
Be kind to yourself! You haven't wasted your money on pointless things, you've made a home for yourself and your child, one of the biggest and most important things in our lives is our HOME.
Relax and enjoy your little haven.

AllBlackEverything · 22/07/2023 08:41

You have now got a place to call home that is furnished to your exact tastes, a save haven for you and DC. You also have 4k in savings left. I would say you are doing just fine darling.

Think of it like this; is the extra 6k in the bank worth living in a home that makes you miserable, full of compromise and what you can cobble together on a shoestring?

You obviously are financially responsible to have the savings in the first place, and in time you will bring the savings back up. For now, just enjoy your new space and give yourself permission to be happy.

thatsn0tmyname · 22/07/2023 08:42

You spent that money creating a better life for you and your child. Please be kind to yourself. You can start saving again today. X

LadyLolaRuben · 22/07/2023 08:44

Well done OP for having the safety net and using it for exactly what was needed - safety, comfort, warmth and protection of you both.

Paying for assistance to help can soon add up, but they're all necessary. And you've even got a safety net left in what remains of the balance.

Sounds like you've done a great job. You'll build up a bigger safety net as time goes on, but many people don't even have the smaller safety net that you currently do.

You seem an amazing mum and resilient human being. Make sure you treat yourself to something...even its some chocolate and a hot bath one evening for self care - you've earned it x

Tilllly · 22/07/2023 08:45

You've spent your savings wisely and created a safe home
You're not in debt
You still have savings

I think you're doing amazingly well

Draw up a budget for food, bills, fun and savings, and stick to it. That will help you feel secure about your finances

Onwards and upwards 💪🏻

ThisIsACoolUserName · 22/07/2023 08:46

Well done for getting to safety.

Personally I think it was foolish of you to spend your savings. £10k is a fortune and it will presumably take you a very long time to save that kind of sum again?

You could have found everything you needed on Facebook marketplace for peanuts and then you upgrade slowly over time.

Can any of the furniture you've bought be returned, or sold online in 'new' condition, to recoup some of the money?

Backstreets · 22/07/2023 08:46

Well it’s done now, so just focus on building your savings back up and enjoy your lovely surroundings!

Tiredjoanna · 22/07/2023 08:46

I was in temp accom and it was awful, a hotel. If I'd been given a flat and had 10k in savings I'd have been over the moon. You've still got 4k so you're not going to severely struggle so chill out and enjoy your new life. Hope all goes well for you both

BCBird · 22/07/2023 08:47

OP the savings have been put to good use. Enjoy the peace. You a winner.

egowise · 22/07/2023 08:47

You've bought furniture to build a hole for you and your little one. Please don't feel guilt!

I would have spent it on stupid crap!

Congrats on your new home ❤️

Overthebow · 22/07/2023 08:50

£10k on furniture for a flat? That is a huge amount. We only spent around £2k furnishing our first house and then upgraded over time. There’s no need to spend such a large amount, especially when it leaves you with hardly any savings left. Is there anything you can return and get a cheaper version?

surlycurly · 22/07/2023 08:52

You've invested I to your own future. That's priceless. And your furniture is now yours. You didn't spend £6k on a holiday! Be at peace with your decision and enjoy your new life. There would have been no point in having 10k in the bank and being miserable- savings are for emergencies- this kind of fits the description of one!! And I say that as someone who is massively neurotic about money!

SweetSakura · 22/07/2023 08:53

It's not that easy to use FB marketplace if you are a single parent with a toddler, as op says you have to do all the hauling furniture upstairs yourself.

readbooksdrinktea · 22/07/2023 08:53

That's so much money, but it's done now.

No point in focusing on it.

Boogiebot · 22/07/2023 08:54

I assume you was possibly getting a reduced amount of UC due to savings over 6k too. Least now your under that so could claim a bit more too.

Onwards and upwards enjoy your wee flat 😊

obladeeobladah · 22/07/2023 08:56

haveifuckedup · 22/07/2023 08:26

@Namechangedforthis2244 thank you so much

I have about £3k left and £1k in an ISA and will definitely try and save some more now

@obladeeobladah it hasn't been easy because I live on a top floor flat on top of a shop - nowhere to park and no lift and I'm personally not able to carry heavy furniture up all those stairs so have had to pay for help. Flat was also mouldy when I moved in and needed a deep clean 😩

Sorry for your situation but I still think you could have done it for less than £1K and still had a lovely place,I have had to do this and would have thought 1K an absolute fortune. I hired a man and van driver and lad to get the stuff in - including upstairs.
It'd fine if you are happy being without your safety net but I would want to know I could get out again if need be for example if ex partner found you and caused problems. Sorry that's not what you want to hear but in answer to your question yes I think you made a mistake