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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

God,I feel like a shit,never thougth I'd break someones heart

59 replies

tetti · 14/02/2008 19:00

I had seen a guy 8 years my junior for 4 months on a very casual basis.We got on great,had great sex,and I feel alot of affection for him.However,he is not ready for a relationship,and,he sleeps with another girl I found out when I asked him,so no,we weren't exclusive.

Then a little while ago,I started chatting to a guy form a dating site.And omg,he's the sweetest ever.We talk on the phone for at least 2 hrs a day,we are so similar it's scary,and although he's extremely sexy and attractive,he's just not aware of it at all.
We can talk about everything,and he both tick all eachothers boxes so to speak.
I never thought a guy like him existed and vice versa.
We are shitscared of meeting this weekend,as we both know this could really lead to something,and I don't mean a little fling...
He keeps thinking about me all day and look at my photo he has on his mobile,and I do just the same:-),soppy,I know...
There's just this crazy,unbeliavable connection there,and it has blown us both away completely,it's soo surreal.He wondered what the hell someone like me were doing on a dating site,and I wondered the same thing about him.
Turns out we were both there for the same reason,we both work,all our mates are paired up,and neither of us are into clubbing,so we don't really meet any new faces.
I have got such a good feeling about this wonderful guy.
So why do I feel so bad about letting the casual guy down? Am I a complete bitch?!Because I do feel like one...

OP posts:

singledadofthree · 15/02/2008 23:31

i wouldnt worry - expect he'll get over you, hard as it might be

lou33 · 16/02/2008 08:26

i agree with madamez, i dont see why you have to do anything right now

ZippiBabes · 16/02/2008 08:45

i don't see why you have to do anything either just let the first guy fizzle out

he probably wouldn't want to be friends as your relationship with him is primarily a sexual one with friends not really being an issue

Original poster

tetti · 16/02/2008 08:54

Exactly,friends just wouldn't work,not from either side as it's basically based on huge physical attraction,and if I have to be completely honest,I think I'd struggle to keep away from him too would we meet.So,the only way out of it is not to see him at all!
I used to txt him all the time,whereas now I've gone completely quiet,so of course he must be thinking-What is going on?
But hey,I don't want a man who I have to share with someone else,eugh!
maybe at a younger age that wouldn't have been much of an issue,but as you get older...
Am a nervous wreck about meeting the internet guy today,as is he.It may fall flat on it's face,but like he said-I find him attractive,he finds me extremely attractive,we get on like a house on fire,so what if we really click when we meet in person? Oh boy...Well,I'll let you know how it went.And please,keep your fingers crossed!:-)

OP posts:

ZippiBabes · 16/02/2008 08:58

er good luck

i hope it is as wonderful as you imagine it will be

but dont get too carried away

people are not always all that they seem

Original poster

tetti · 16/02/2008 10:51

True,I'm trying not to get too carried away.I'm kind of expecting it'll be a complete disaster,that way I won't end up too dissapointed.
We kind of got a bit carried away yesterday talking about what would happen if we did click,and it's a good job we finished talking when we did.Yesterday our conversation def took a very flirtatious tone as opposed to us just finding out things about eachother as usual.God,this is totally new territory for me,and I'm not half nervous!

OP posts:

ZippiBabes · 16/02/2008 11:00

no harm in nerves

flirting is all part of it..i think that is toi be expected

have you planned how you are going to be this evening if it all goes well...

lou33 · 16/02/2008 18:59

when you say you have gone completely quiet, is he texting you asking why that is hte case?

if not, maybe he is feeling it has run it's course too, so a mutual ending will suit you both

good luck tonight, but keep a healthy dose of cynicism in store ;)

Original poster

tetti · 16/02/2008 20:13

Lol.please don't say I TOLD U SO,but,eugh!
You were all so right and I was so wrong!
This guy who looked great in the pic was ehum,very smelly,not BO,something far worse than that!(shame the internet isn't scratch and sniff!),his clothes were filthy,and as for his teeth?Eugh!
And when he tried to cuddle me and went-Oh,I'm falling for you already baby! with the few teeth he had,ahem,I kind of made a very quick escape!
Wish I could warn other women on pof NOT to contact this guy,because he sure as hell aint what he seems...Yes,pictures can sure as hell lie,think I'm done w the internet thing,I am sticking with toyboy,who incidentally rung me this eve,and,beam me up scotty,is getting kind of serious about me(thank the lord!).I know what I'm getting with him,and if he wants me and only me,he can sure as hell have me!lol

OP posts:

lou33 · 16/02/2008 20:21

arent you glad you kept him on the back burner now?

i wont say i told you so, i dont understand why people pretend to be someone they are not, because surely if they plan to meet people, they will get found out?

treat it as a learning curve, and dont necessarily give up, just remember your experience and dont get quite so carried away next time

i always go to meet someone with the attitude that at the worst its an hour or so out of the house passing time

if you can think along those lines then it isnt so daunting or disappointing if they dont match up to your expectations

ZippiBabes · 16/02/2008 20:23

was it not his pic on pof

lolol tetti....do tell more

ZippiBabes · 16/02/2008 20:24

and there are some good looking nice guys on there who are like their profiles or better

link to your guys foto

WiiMii · 16/02/2008 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lou33 · 16/02/2008 20:38

i wouldnt say she was desperate

i think maybe tetti has got a bit carried away with her feelings, but that isnt desperate

Original poster

tetti · 16/02/2008 20:39

Can't find it now,lol,have removed him from my favourites v promptly!(Look under mixed race,32 year old)

It was his pic,but it was very decieving,as you couldn't tell he had the maddest eyes,the worst teeth I'd ever seen(and that's saying something),and the smell?OMG,I can still smell him,oh god,I actually feel sick!!! And to think these women voted his pic 10 out of ten,eeekkk!!!(well,I fell for it,didn't I?)

OP posts:

ZippiBabes · 16/02/2008 20:40

i don't think i have ever chatted to anyone who asks for votes on their pick that would be a red flag to me

anyway don't give up

just be more circumspect

well it must be bad luck really

ZippiBabes · 16/02/2008 20:41

their pic lol

Original poster

tetti · 16/02/2008 20:46

God WiiMii,what are you on about?You got it soo wrong.So what if I got carried away,it could have turned out good,but happened to turn out bad.And yes,sweetie,I have indeed been single without a man,I am completely and utterly happy with myself,but what's wrong with wanting someone to share your life with,I am very complete as a person as it is,but we all need love,don't we?
And,what good came out was that I did come to realise my so called toyboy isn't someone I am willing to give up on at all,and as if by magic,just when I realised how much I feel for him,the phone rang,he's given up the other girl and now only wants me.He's ready,I'm ready,and tbh,I tried internet dating as a way to forget him,wrong I know.
But now it's all turned good.And oh,you do not know me from adam,so don't judge..

OP posts:

WiiMii · 16/02/2008 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lou33 · 16/02/2008 21:03

I think it has been v clear you have liked your young man a lot more than you have been prepared to admit, by the way you post about him

You know there is nothing wrong with it, and no reason why it shouldnt work out. The love of my life, for want of a better expression, was just over 11 yrs younger than me, and it wasnt my h. We arent together now, but i dont regret a second of it , and if it had been another time i had met him, it would have worked.

I'm glad you seem to ave finally worked out it's him you want, BUT still dont rush forward too quickly, let it develop

And have fun

Original poster

tetti · 16/02/2008 22:17

Thank you so much for your kind words lou33:-).

I'm def letting it progress naturally,I have come to realise today how much I appreciate the space he gives me,which means I can really focus on my no 1 priority,my little girl.
It also endears me that he dotes on her so much,he's so good with her,and she really likes him too.
Can't believe it took all this for me to WAKE UP!lol
And to get that call from him tonight confirmed that I def should follow my heart.
Removed my profile from pof,there is only one guy for me,and I am willing to see if this one works out.Not fair to involve anyone else either,as I've finally wisened up to the fact that i really do feel for the younger guy.
Something tells me not to let go of him,and I just have to let it flow...:-)

OP posts:

chocolatespiders · 16/02/2008 22:29

hope you get your happy ending tetti

Original poster

tetti · 16/02/2008 22:39

Thank you:-).x

OP posts:

lou33 · 16/02/2008 22:47

i'm not sure about anyone else, but it has been fairly clear that you have more feelings for him than you have fully admitted

i'm happy for you, but dont rush anything, if it's meant to be it will happen

lou33 · 16/02/2008 23:02

and i know i pretty much repeated myself but i had been drinking wine tonight

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