I wish I had real friends

[susannah808]

Hello I'm new. I'm 46 with a 2 y/o daughter. It's just me and her. We live with my parents. It's not ideal... I think the hardest part is I have no one to talk to who gets how hard this can be when you don't have someone who's truly on your team. So I hope maybe some of you might want to be friends with me - be each others family. Thanks.

Ps @yummytummy thanks for being my friend ❤️

Hi @TortolaParadise thanks so much for the suggestions - examples are really helpful to me. It's a good strategy for gauging where people are at. This person who contacted me used to be one of my closest friends. He was godfather to my daughter, but after saying he "wanted to be more selfish" I let him not be her godfather anymore. I could already tell there was no energy there. And since then have hardly hard from him. He got married to a fantastic gal. I couldn't make the wedding because baby girl was 4 mos. And that's it. Tried to keep in touch but I don't know maybe it's because I became something unrelatable - a parent. Regardless I think after such a long time something more than "yo how you be" would be nice. It doesn't exactly tell me how involved he wants to be in our life. Or maybe it does...

Hi @susannah808 you're on the UK app yay!! 😊
Awww it's cold where you are too, the shops here have all the spring clothes too but there is no way i'm ready to put away my boots and coat!
Sorry about your friend, i have friends like that too. None of my friends have come to visit me since i've had my baby. I get messages or calls but no one has come to see me. My Mum's friends have come over to see me though LOL!
I think this has given me the time to reflect, focus on me and my baby for once instead of being there for all my friends all the time.
Sorry if i've gone on, just wanted you to know i totally hear you x
Looking forward to the flowers especially blossom trees here in the UK! Yay! 🌸🌻🌸🌺

Hi @Summer2424 , yes it was similar for me - my friends weren't in the same area as me when my daughter was born, but I never heard from them. No calls or messages. And I was a single parent from the start so no one close like a partner to figure out or through things with. COVID had just started too and with the first shut downs it was eerie and isolating.
But yes, my usual friends being absent allowed me to focus on me instead of being there for everyone else too. It was almost as if I wasn't supposed to have struggles of my own; maybe they didn't know what to do with that.
That's so cute all your mom's friends came to visit. I love it. So many grand aunties 😍😍😍

'yo how you be' tells you all you need to know. However, if he has just got married he may soon be a parent too. That may change the dynamics between you, him and his lovely wife in a positive way, if you are open to it.

Thanks for that @TortolaParadise - I appreciate the birdseye perspective ✨

Walnut Creek! It’ll be hotting up real soon there. Miss the River Delta. Friends have been saying they’ve been without power for days (on the peninsula), most are teachers and they are teaching with flashlights in the dark! Hope the rain and wind slow down soon.
I wouldn’t think anything re: “Yo, how you be?” esp coming from an American. If he’s reaching out it’s a good thing. Maybe he’s not exactly sure how to go about doing it, not wanting to overshare too quickly? I’d respond and see where it leads.

@findmeonthesunnyside you will be coming to the area? Let me know if you have interest or time to go for a hike :) I know travel is busy and much isn't in one's control, so no worries if you can't.

Well I messaged back and didn't hear back for nearly a week. I messaged again today and after he found out I was hospitalized he said he'd have time after a week to catch up. Surprised me a bit but no thanks. I'm ok with it.

Hi OP, I wish I had plans to visit, I’d love to go on a hike with you! After moving away from the BA I’d say I returned for a few weeks each year but it’s not been easy since we’ve had kids… Prices from the UK are steep. Not like they used to be… and it’s more than just little old me now.

@findmeonthesunnyside Hi I'm so sorry for the delay in responding. Was going through some stuff. I understand. How are you managing? I have been trying to find work that I can do but it's really hard with a 2 y/o. I'm open to any inspiration and thoughts ❤️🤗