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Lone parents

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Original poster

met someone from plenty of fish tuesday...........

47 replies

MAMAZON · 07/02/2008 14:01

he was just as lovely in the flesh as he was online.
we laughed we danced we had a really good time.

he is a squaddie and as such goes oversea's alot. he doesn't want anything serious as he only seperated from his DD's mum in Oct.

he wants to be "fuck buddy's"

now in my youth i would have jumped at the chance.
but now i have 2 children i am not sure.

what do you reckon. will i be cheapening myself or is it win win until i find someone more permenant?

OP posts:
wannaBe · 07/02/2008 14:03

depends.

can you be someone's "fuck buddy" without getting emotionally involved?

pirategirl · 07/02/2008 14:03

how could you handle being a fuck buddie mamazon.

how nice is he 'really'

if it was me, I'd be flattered at being fancied, but emotionally unable to be a bit of fluff.

WiiMii · 07/02/2008 14:05

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themildmanneredjanitor · 07/02/2008 14:06

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Original poster
MAMAZON · 07/02/2008 14:06

ah well sadly i used to be a bit of a slut

so the emotional side of it will be fine. it would work on the basis that we will grow to be really good friends and occasionally we will have sex.

i just wonder if im a little too old for such things now

OP posts:
WiiMii · 07/02/2008 14:07

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doggiesayswoof · 07/02/2008 14:07

Tbh I think the "cheapening yourself" line comes from a time when men could shag who they wanted and women had to protect their honour - imo it's a sexist notion...

However, I'd be worried that I would fall for him and want more out of the relationship than he was prepared to give.

You would need to have ground rules - would you be his exclusive fuck buddy or would he have others too? Does he expect you to keep thee only unto him? (Naive question maybe)

On balance I would go for it and have a nice time - you only have one shot at life, why be lonely when you have the chance of fun and companionship?

Be safe though.

WiiMii · 07/02/2008 14:08

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doggiesayswoof · 07/02/2008 14:10

Many many x-posts - as a former slut you will know how to handle the "rules"!

If you are only worried about your age - go for it.

(Also agree with tmmj that you are worth a whole lot more than casual sex - but sometimes it fits the bill just fine)

Original poster
MAMAZON · 07/02/2008 14:14

well i asked how many other FB's there were and he openly admited that there was one but that she was lookign for a "proper" relationship and had met someone recently so this was likely to end their relationship.

how desperate am i? well ive been single for 3 years and whilst i have spent that time "sorting myself out" i do long for a bit of male company at times.

I couldn't really go down the one night stand route as i worry too much about teh safety issue's involved.

at least with this guy it would be one person as and when i wanted to... in the safety and comfort of either mine or his.

I dunno.
on paper it seems ideal.
in reality ........

OP posts:
nutcracker · 07/02/2008 14:16

It is totally up to you, if you are happy being his fuckbuddy (i hate that word), then thats ok.

Personally, I know that I couldn't do it, because I'd get way too emotionally involved.

WiiMii · 07/02/2008 14:17

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doggiesayswoof · 07/02/2008 14:19

In reality I guess you just have to try it? Understand your caution though. I would just want him to be open with me about others - not least because of the health issue.

Original poster
MAMAZON · 07/02/2008 14:20

well i am starting to think that my shopping list for a man is either way too long or the shop just doesn't stock my size.

and that maybe i could fit into the smaller size while they order mine in?

ooh its so confusing being a responsible adult isn't it

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 07/02/2008 14:20

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doggiesayswoof · 07/02/2008 14:23

But maybe Mamazon is a bit of a player too... don't see why there can't be equality in these things.

(I confess I have been the one doing the phoning up at 11pm feeling in the mood and saying 'can I come round?' - was a while ago though)

themildmanneredjanitor · 07/02/2008 14:24

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doggiesayswoof · 07/02/2008 14:24

Sorry Mamazon I am not calling you a player! Just talking hypothetically you understand.

Original poster
MAMAZON · 07/02/2008 14:29

well i asked him how it works with his "other" Fb.

he said he see's her once or twice a week. they will go to the pub/sit and watch a dvd/ go for a meal etc.

i think the getting attached bit is teh part that worries me. i know that in my youth i could have done this easy peasy and not flinched, but now im not too sure.

my head will tell me that i knew the rules all along and that we both knew where we stood.

but then again...if i went ahead with it i certainly wouldn't stop looking for Mr Right so maybe it would be him that got attached >

OP posts:
WiiMii · 07/02/2008 14:30

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Original poster
MAMAZON · 07/02/2008 14:38

yeah apparantly thast why he is looking for a new one, she has found someone she has started dating properly and therefore doesn't see him anymore.

he has beebn totally honest with me, there is no need to lie really. im sure there are a great number of women he could find that would be more than happy with the arrangment as he really is good looking.

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 07/02/2008 14:40

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WiiMii · 07/02/2008 14:44

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Original poster
MAMAZON · 07/02/2008 14:45

well i think the fact that i am posting here says a lot.

if i was happy with it i wouldn't need to ask a forum or "strangers"

shame though as i wouldn't have minded checking out his moves lol

OP posts:
Janos · 07/02/2008 14:48

I think it all depends on what you can 'handle' emotionaly wise and what you can't.

If you want to have a friend with benefits (much prefer that term). Then why not?

I don't think it reflects badly. Some folk are happy with that arrangement, some aren't.

And some women like to 'just' have sex too...just saying.