Can you join me in this light hearted thread pls?

[Creole]

I want to start this thread to show some of the things ex partners have done (and continue to do) to make life difficult!

My ex left his job so he wouldn't pay maintenance. I think this is common and nothing new.

My friends ex also did the same, but now charges my friend for "babysitting" his OWN kids.

My cousin's ex refused to look after HIS son, by going out and leaving the child ALONE in the house - well, the child was sleeping!

Can you guys beat this?

I guess I wanted to start this because I still couldn't get over how some people can be soo evil.

Hi! Yes thanks. We had quite a week for half term, been to the farm, swimming, A day out with Thomas (the tank),fish 'n' chips in the park and lunch with my sister! Pretty knackered actually!! Back to work today ! Have you been up to owt?

sounds like a fine old week - beats work thats for sure. my kids are all mid to late teens now so i worked most of the hols. dd1 was home from uni for the weekend so had a bit of time with her - wanted her car alarm sorting too - good to see her tho. have meself a day off tomorrow, me little old corsa goes for its mot, will fail of course - 2 bald tyres and a noisey exhaust - and i fix other peoples' cars! hope not much else wrong. i get to roam the streets of middlesbrough while it gets scrutinized - what fun, it better not rain. is the town of my birth but hardly recognisable these days. theres a fine old cafe in the park tho that does my favourite delicacy - cheeseburgers...mmm. thats my day off for a while, otherwise i'm clearing woods, fencing and rebuilding a mini.
and you work with a 3 year old? sounds like a good act of juggling. must admit i dropped out for a few years on becoming a sp, that was more than enough. have a great day whatever you do, i'll be chilled out in a park up north

Would rather be in a park tomorrow!! Although I have a free morning so it's not too bad. DD is at playgroup so I can do coffee in town. Might even treat myself to a crumpet - very posh! Then got sisters kids + my dd all aft! Joy! Get home 7pm so it's straight to bath/bed for her and feet up with a cuppa and a huge lump of chocolate to gnaw on while I watch nothing in particular on tv and piss about on here/facebook etc! What a social life - I just don't know how I do it!

And it was bloody cold last night... -13!!! Brrrrrrr. Bloody Yorkshire! More cups o' tea!!

i have no idea wah t you are talking about so oddlyn they are ant the best burt i do like editors smokoing outside the hospital doors butit jut makes me feel lim smoking

seems like i'm going bonkers today. wrote a post on here earlier but dont seem to have sent it. must be as my car failed its mot. and it was so cold wandering round a deserted park in the freezing fog. which considering i work at a country house and spend my time wandering/working outside it was quite fitting. did at least get a lovely cheeseburger - beats your crumpets anyday...that doesnt sound right
hope your enjoying your facebook thingy, would prefer the chocolate and tea thanks. as you can tell my social life is just as hectic. i really should go and do something useful - just cant remember what - have at least dragged myself away from ebay for now.

Hey! Leave my crumpets out of this!! Lol! (I didn't really have crumpets - it was just the first thing I thought of!!)

Hope car isn't too pooly??? I keep meaning yo sit down and sort out my finances but never quite seem to get round to it, i wonder why??

Got a free day tomorrow so not sure what to do. Will prob end up taking the hoover for a walk or something equally thrilling.

oh no - you mentioned finances. i work as a treasurer - a voluntary thing cos i'm odd like that. should really be doing the gift aid/tax claim instead of wandering the hallowed halls of mn.
have car booked in for a spot of long overdue welding on thursday - means i get to walk 2 miles to work - better not rain.
and what i wouldnt do for a real day off to myself - i could go out...and do things...just like regular folk .

Yes I am a bit anal about knowing everything is in order financially! It became a bit of an obsession when I was going solo expecting my DD. Still, it's paid off (no pun intended) as things seem to tick over quite nicely. Not sure where I'm going with this ramble...? Anyway, I'm a bit odd too as I'm a volunteer fundraiser and committee member for Children's Society. I don't even know how it happened - I just seemed to end up hosting a meeting one day! (I think they drugged me).

What am I going on about?? Might go swimming. Tomorrow, that is. Not now.

well the thread title was asking for a light hearted take on this lone parent lark. dont suppose this was quite on the mind at the time. do tend to be reduced to talking drivvel most of the time tho
and whatever you were drugged to join any sort of committe would be greatly appreciated. i stopped smoking about 10 years ago, hardly ever drink (tho messrs guiness and merlot are always welcome if absent), no drugs - prescribed or otherwise...thats why i resort to drivvel on here, and rambling as you can tell. is a welcome break from reality.
the childrens society is of course most worthy so keep it up - tho a committee member, you are odd...confess to being one too , little choice as the treasurer.
hope your swimming pool is well heated - is still freezing here, so have fun and think of me wandering round a chilly country estate up north on me lonesome. is a brilliant job at times tho, just me, my own boss, more work than i'll ever finish. certainly beats chilly old oil platforms off the coast of norway - you havent been cold till doing a winter nightshift up there...ramble over - back to terminator

It was an ex primary school teacher that taught me 20years ago that roped me in! She is now a magistrate and is very persuasive. She has a way of telling you rather than asking and I kept throwing obstacles like: might not be able to get a babysitter... can't get to meetings as i don't have a car etc so she brought the meeting to me and before I knew it I was making a dozen cups of tea for a bunch of complete strangers in my own house!! I suppose it gets me involved in the community. (No jokes about 'care' in the community thanks.)

And yes, will be sure to avoid any oil platform jobs - how I hate the ccccold!

Don't know if we will go swimming after all. Not a good plan to have wet hair and then venture out in to arctic conditions Will have to rethink tomorrow. Back to the hoover plan....?

hope the hoover plan fell thru - has been an amazing day here, clear blue and warm. if you were doing a sun dance it was appreciated
spent the day clearing woodland and had a fine old bonfire going - was down to a t shirt this afternoon - not bad for feb. hope it holds out for my stroll to work tomorrow...you havent said what you do - or i havent been attentive enough - surprise me, something exciting i hope.
and i know about the persuasive powers of magistrates - i used to do a voluntary community thingy , tho persuing my own interests too, worked with a retired one now and then and they have a knack of picking up on your strengths and making use of them. is all good fun tho i'm sure.
and have just read back - the going solo expecting dd bit - excuse my ignorance but that sounds like you were kind of left in the lurch with her? it happens too often of course, but well...well done with her if thats the case. it never ceases to impress or amaze how some manage it. so there, thats it really, hope your day went well wherever you found yourselves - and thanks again for the sun dance

Well I'm afraid to say I've been a right lazy cow today! Went for a walk in the village this morn and popped in to see my dad at work, had a coffee. Then a friend called to see if we were in so she came over for lunch. Had to drag the hoover round before she arrived of course!! Then baked a cake with DD - one of her favourite things to do!

It's been quite a nice day really - Oh and I squeezed in a quick sun dance so I'm glad you noticed!! Although I have to say a t-shirt seems a bit brave! It might have been sunny but....?

And sorry - I don't do anything exciting at all. I work 2 days a week in the chemist at the top of my road. I really want to be in the police but it's a bit unlikely with the training (12wks away from home) and the shift work.

And yes, my ExP left me at 10wks preg after trying for 3 yrs, and 2 miscarriages! Nice eh? He decided 'it wasn't what he wanted' and phoned me from the airport one day to tell me he was leaving the country and we were finished. (Although he expected to be allowed at the birth!!! ) He came back to UK just before she was born and demanded to go on the birth cert or he'd take me to court! Needless to say he was removed from the hosp by security and did not go on the birth cert! He never did take me to court! However, i've no regrets as she was def wanted on my part. I think it's prob easier that I was alone from the start as I didn't have to go thru a break up in the early days with a baby. That must be really tough. But I think in this situation we're def both better off without him. He stopped bothering to visit after the 1st yr, doesn't even send her a birthday card. He was also manipulative, controlling and occasionally violent to me. He was also a compulsive liar and conned lots of money out of people that he never paid back. I became a totally different person and lost all my confidence and self esteem. I'm just so glad I have an amazing and supportive family and some true friends that helped me through it all.

Anyway, angry rant over!!! I find it all quite amusing now and I think my life is better now I have been through some crap. It makes you realise you are capable of whatever you put your mind to.

So that's me! Woman in a white coat! (Not being carted of by man in white coat!)

Happy walking tomorrow - will try to get up in time to do another sundance. I too am out walking tomorrow. Am on parent duty at playgroup and we're off on a 'spring walk' with 20 3&4 yr olds!!

(Sorry bout long ramble)

wow - you havent been lazy - would take me all day to write that much
where do i start? will be brief and just say what a git - your ex that is, sorry for bringing on such a rant, tho it read quite calmly, told you i was impressed and amazed how some people do it. and sorry for dd, being left like that, people split up all the time, isnt fair for her to be treated that way tho, sorry and all.
is no wonder youve joined the white coat brigade - tho things make us what we are of course, stronger, wiser, brighter...like an advert for woolite. can see youd be drawn/forced into the Childrens Soc.
on a more serious note, i used to help out at the local primary school - you are brave, a bunch as young as that, think you'll be wandering all day - hope it stays fine - will return the sundance if needed.
i should clear off anyway, has been a good day and am worn out. is up earlier tham ever tomorrow - will be having words if i get wet.
and as youve introduced youself as woman in white coat - may i inroduce myself as man in woods weilding chainsaw...can hear you running for cover

apologies for typos - told you i was tired.

Bugger! Just spent ages typing out a reply and then accidentally wiped the lot!!

Anyway, sounds like some dodgy idea for a film - some sort of massacre in the woods with some crazed white coat wearing, chainsaw weilding lunatic! (Not that I'm implying you're a lunatic )!!

And as for the ex-git, no need to apologise!! I don't blame the entire male population for his behaviour (although I struggle a bit with trust now). At the end of the day, I got the most amazingly precious little girl out of a bad situation and he ended up with nothing, through his own choice, as I have never banned him from seeing her.

So playgroup walk was cancelled (phew). Do you ever get rained off or are you a tough cookie that carries on regardless?? I take the blame for the weather as I rolled out of bed a wee bit late to do a sundance!

Back to work tomorrow and got nephews all day sat. Hope you have a nice weekend planned.

am impressed again as you havent ran a mile, must be my lovely red italian sportscar chainsaw - honest it is - am working on the car tho so who knows. and yes i did picture the whole scarey movie thing - parts of where i spend my days look straight out of hammer house of horror. they have a church complete with mausoleum - just how cool is that? ive been looking for ideas of my next abode - really want to renovate somewhere unusual, have done for years. is about time i got meself motivated as time slips by. tho the kids (me being old sp) are at an age where a move wouldnt disrupt them - theyve kept me from so many crazy schemes over the years ive lost count. and oddly they always refused to live in a caravan - no idea why, maybe all the time we spent in our old vw put them off.
i appear to be rambling - mid accounts. theres no need to apologise for the weather - it stayed fine this morning, just a warm breeze to help me along - and it was 3 miles down country lanes, a great way to start the day - i was late but time there is fairly flexible, car is done tho and booked back in for saturday - there goes my morning. really should find something to spend my weekends on other than the mini - which is nearly done, and have a friends field to practice in. will get my own racer next year once ds has learned to drive so we can tow our own. this all makes me feel a bit old - theres you with a 3 year old - the age of my youngest when i set out on my own. how time flies when youre having fun. and i agree - some absent parents have no idea what theyre missing out on - i know some fellas that go out of their way to put their kids first when theyve split - to miss out on them would be unthinkable. you seem to have remained fairly level headed and sane...even with a white coat...all things considered. wont look back but wasnt there a thread about 3 year olds and pmt'd out women? better not venture down that avenue, will come to grief no doubt image of mad woman in the woods again
where is this going? i really should get some work done, speaking of which, no, i dont get rained off, has been commented on that i just keep going - you can only get so wet. had a farmer helping me put a stable up in the pouring rain, and i mean downpour, gales, the lot. even in full waterproofs he downed tools and gave up after a couple of hours - to me it was just great to be out, was only november and not really that cold.
anyway - hope you have a great weekend too in your village - i was thinking you were in a city somewhere, is a smallish village here too. oh yes, your nephews, expect theyll keep you entertained - have fun

Aghhhh xp's suck! My sons dad had a gambling problem and owes me about 2 grand... he used to steal my money and go to the bookies.
he regually makes promises to do thing ie take my little boy swimming and either wont turn up or will give some lame excuse... most of the time he cant be bothered or has a hangover.
always tells me what a bad parent i am and then proves he's the bad parent by taking my little boy out in the cold in a t-shirt...no coat or jumper and no blanket and then yells at me for not telling him to bring one. fed baby when he was 3 months old chocolate.
gets his family to gang up on me and tell me im a bad mother.
to be fair when he can be bothered he's a good dad. but most of the time his football, mates and drinking come way b4 me, my son and his unborn child.... oh and i never get any money from him. All us single parents have to stick together... its not just the men who r plonkers remember! keep ur chin up girls and boys!!!!

hey charlotte - well done, youre at uni with a littlun and a bump? is an acheivement in itself so i wouldnt be taking critism from anyone if i were you! and youre only 20? couldnt help but comment, my eldest dd is 20 and at uni and the thought of her doing all youre managing is beyond belief. saw a creche when visiting nottingham uni the other week with dd2 but didnt really sink in. students with kids at uni? so well done, hope you do eally well, and youre right, your ex is a plonker and then some.

So you fancy renovating somewhere? That sounds pretty cool! Would love to be able to do something like that but as it stands I could only afford about 3 bricks (although I must admit I don't know the going rate for bricks) and that wouldn't make for a very big house, would it!! As for the caravan thing, I'm with your kids on that one!! But I'm left wondering what the 'other crazy schemes' could have been.....?

So.. hope your car is happy again - I'm fear your wallet might be frowning slightly ! That's one good thing about not having a car! I've worked very hard to get all debts paid off so I'm in the black and if I got a car it would mean going back into that crazy world of the overdraft! After my ExP bled me financially dry I don't fancy going back there until I have a well paid job to fund the repayments!

Had to laugh at the 'level headed and sane' comment . My friends would disagree!! I'm not known to be the quiet one on the rare occasions that I get let out! But yes twas me that was well and truly pmt'd out! Def heading down the Dr's at next convenience!! Don't fancy a repeat of that again!

Just having a well deserved break from the kids at the mo while they watch a dvd but have managed to squeeze in painting, play-doh, baking, the park, some lunch and a trip to the wacky warehouse so far!! Am pretty knackered! Only another hour and a half to go!!

And yes I am lucky enough to live in a beautiful village in a 'sought after' residential area. I grew up here too so my DD will go to the same schools I went to.

Aaaaanyway! Best go and find out why it's so quiet downstairs - can only mean one thing...they're up to no good!! Hope you have a good weekend..

Charlotte - welcome to the chat (of generally quite random drivvel) Sorry SDof3!!

Your ExP sounds a bit like mine. Although mine had a drink problem not gambling, but he used to steal from me, including a diamond eternity ring that an Ex boyfriend (and love of my life - why did I ever let him go??) gave me. It was worth about £900 in terms of money but meant a whole lot more sentimentally. I went to the police but they said as we lived together, I couldn't prove I hadn't given him permission to take it. The hardest thing was telling the guy that gave me the ring, as he's my best friend I felt he deserved to know.

Anyway just for a change I am wandering from the point I was going to make... You sound like a pretty amazing woman to be doing a uni degree with a LO and another on the way!! Well done you!! I'm almost jealous as I fancy doing a degree but there don't seem to be enough hours in the day!!

You should be so proud that you're doing all that! There's loads of people who struggle just looking after the kids without working or uni to fit in! Keep the faith in yourself, and whatever your ex says, you know you are doing fantastically well so don't listen! People always ask me if I get pissed off with my Ex because he keeps telling so many lies about me. I tell them it really doesn't bother me as the people that know me and the people I care about know the truth and that's all that matters. Try not to let him upset you as it doesn't get you anywhere. You need all the positive energy you can muster to focus on all the good in your life - your kids and your future.

Got to go - kids are shouting!! Take care and good luck!!

He's done his class A trick tonight. was supposed to be coming over to see our liitle boy and then was going into town. he has kept me waiting around since 5 and has kept saying be there soon but just decided to tell me he's not coming at all. Typical!!! Its my little boy i feel sorry for, but xp is the one missing out. My little boy was walking round holding onto his baby walker tonight for the first time and if he had bothered to show up then he would have seen it although im not complaining as I love having him all to myself. Just hate feeling that my little boy is being let down, hes too young to understand yet but one day he will and its going to really hurt me.
The one bug bearer i do have is the fact that i grew up without my dad as he died when i was 8 and i would do anything in my power to be there for my son, my xp doesnt seem to grasp how precious each of the moments! Thanks for the supposrt tho. its nice to feel that someone is on your side. Most people see me as a silly little girl who has had children far too young but I wouldnt change my life for the world... Keep your chins up everyone. I especially have admiration for singledad of 3. My mum was on her own with 3 of us and i know how difficult it was for her! Goingbonkers if you wanna go to uni go for it. you only live once and are never too old for it!!! Theres a lady doing my degree who is in her 50's!

just been reading the comments left in these threads makes you angry how ppl have been treated and although it is tough being on your own and having to deal with the crap ex's deal you with, arn't we all lucky. We have amazing healthy children who make our lives worth while... we have this site to let us have a rant when were ticked off. Who needs the ex's!!! Always remember even tho we have to deal with the nappies, the sleepless nights and the fevers we also get the cuddles and the priceless moments like seeing your child crawl for the first time. I think we have the better end of the deal really although it may not always feel like that!

charlotte - i know all about how it feels when your ex lets the kids down - if it carries on just have plans to distract them as best you can. my kids are all pretty well grown now but it know it still hurts their feelings when their mum doesnt bother to turn up. it has gone from them sitting around after sunday lunch with their coats on all ready to go - to them getting a text late in the afternoon to say shes still out and forgot. you just have to make it up to them as best you can.

some of my 'going bonkers' ideas - altho they sound totally plasible to me - are things like watermills (found a brilliant three storey one but they didnt like the location), windmills (ok, there arent that many round here, ditto for canal boats, pretty much any tumbling down house with land and views (have a thing about sunsets, my phone is full of them). found one near whitby in some woods, no interior tho, walked in, looked up and theres the sky! hence the caravans, a temporary measure they could see lasting too long as i work full time. and churches, have sen some really smart ones but theyre so hard to do. have to make do watching Grand Designs. oh, and eco housing, have been a fan of self build for as long as i can recall, discovered an old hippie architect that started the trend off many years ago in this country. hooked ever since.
am now thinking again. told yesterday my boss is selling up, and i'm the only employee so will see what happens next.
my car passed today tho, cost more than its worth but will hang onto it, dd wants it for her year in industry so will get another in the summer. theres an old audi of mine lurking in the garage but havent the time to get it back on the road - like the one in ashes to ashes had mine 11 years tho, laid it up for the last camper and has been there since.
enough drivvel about me, hope you survived the houseful of littluns. sounds good there, and good to bring her up in your home town, was commented on many years ago that dd1 moved 7 times by the age of 7 - not good. and here i've stayed since, no wonder they dont take my dreaming seriously.
have a great day tomorrow, wherever you spend it, i've a towbar to fit then out on the moors, my poor old dog is feeling neglected.

charlotte you r quite right there we do get all the best bits with the children xp's miss them, well when they are pigs like ds dad. just a shame for the children that they have to go put up with their crap
dd dad is much better always there if i need to do something e.g. go in to uni when i have no childcare(if he's not working- he works various shifts)
has her evry other weekend without fail. and has had both children for me sometimes so i can go to a friends for a drink/ anne summers party etc