Does anyone else feel they just exchanged one miserable existence for a new version?

[Newsinglemum58]

Getting out of an unhappy marriage and finding that on the other side isn’t necessarily a chance to skip merrily into the sunset with someone great, but instead to struggle with living on a single wage, managing a house and kids alone, co-parenting difficulties and kids moving between two homes. The loneliness of an empty home one minute and doing it all the next.

Sad that I’m sort of wishing these years away until I’m older and the kids are grown up. This is nothing but a headache. Wish I had never married in the first place.

I know this is a very negative and depressing post, but unfortunately it’s how I’m feeling at the moment! My youngest is also having problems (probably caused by the split)… yet more reasons to be stressed and feel guilt/like a failure.

just wondering if anyone else out there can relate, or has a positive story where it turns out well in the end to give me hope…

I don't regret the split but just wish I had married someone better but still had the same DC to be honest.

This is me too.

DC are currently with their DF, who sees them 4 days a month (EOW), and acts as if he's doing me a huge favour if he has them for even one day extra in the school holidays. Summer just gone, he had them 6 days across the 7 weeks (including the weekends), and I had to cover the rest. I'm very fortunate to be able to afford good childcare year round.

I wanted one of those DH's who is supportive and helpful and shares the load. Instead I got one who became resentful as my career took off, then spiteful and emotionally abusive when I began to earn double his salary and then some.

I don't miss the feeling of dreading him coming home, worrying if anything I say would set him off, wondering if he would be nasty to me in front of the DC, again. I couldn't live like that.

Life is much much better being free of my EX, but I can't deny the slog is hard, especially as I work FT in a senior level job. I have loads of help in the form of a Nanny Housekeeper, plus I have family around, and I'm still knackered because everything is down to me.

@Newsinglemum58 I feel like you could be me! Split 3 years ago. Really struggling with the daily grind. I'm beating myself up that I should feel better because it's been some time so your post brought me a bit of relief that you feel the same. The loneliness and isolating nature of covid (working from home has become our norm). Feel like I am constantly doing household tasks or working. Never go out. Can't motivate myself at all.

@MusselMam glad the thread gave you some comfort. I think that we just have to keep doing our best and hoping it gets easier at some point. I rarely go out, but now it’s winter/dark early I’m feeling a bit better about just hunkering down and trying to rest and feel cosy/get early nights etc. I find I feel more down when the kids are not with me. I prefer them being here and it feels sort of odd without them and just me.

No, life is not super exciting… but I think nowadays I’m preferring peace over excitement.