will it ever be amicable????????????????

[LoneLou]

Me and my X split nearly 2 weeks ago now and boy has it been the longest 2 weeks of my life, ups amd downs.

At first I was shocked that he was walking out on me, then I was ok with him chit chatting, then I was begging him to come back, but now that has all changed, well for now at least. I'm getting feelings of hate when I think of him now.

We have a 5 yr old boy who is coping really well might I add. Problem is when I see x now I dislike him, thinking about the things he's done behind my back. I'm trying so hard to keep it amicable like just seeing x at the door when he drops son off, no texts or phone calls unless it's about ds. everytime I see x i get really angry inside and find it very hard to keep my big mouth shut for the sake of ds.

problem is will this get better or will I slowly become to hate him??? any exp lone parents out there

I can see so much of myself in your original post. I am now two and a half years down the line ...

It does get easier but it does take a long time. Don't try and set limits on it, it'll just happen gradually without you noticing. I was suicidal when my ex walked out on us. Ds wasn't quite 2 years old, I'd given up my career, we were planning another baby and he just went, he'd been planning it for months but I hadn't a clue.

Everyone told me it would be fine / I'd get over it / I'd meet someone else etc etc ... I knew they were right but it didnt help at the time as I just wanted him and my family back together.

Looking back the thing that helped me most was finding new things to do that I wanted to do, not things that we'd done together as that would be painful, but in the last year I have moved to a new area, started a new career, done the London Marathon (I'm not sporty whatsoever but it was something I always wanted to do).

I can genuinely say I am happy again. Not happy like I was but in a different way. There are day when I miss him but on the whole I wouldn't change anything about my life now. The sense of pride from having my own place that I am paying for with my own money and having a new career that I'm enjoying and the pride from seeing ds grow up and knowing I HAVE DONE THAT is amazing!

You will get past the horrible stage but it won't hapen overnight Look after yourself, another tip, I had a book and every night I would write in it one thing I had done and enjoyed that day, sometimes it might be taking ds to the park or something funny ds had said, sometimes it might be silly things like managing to cut the grass for the first time on my own !!