I don't know how we can ever be 'friends' and I'm so worried about how this will affect dd as she grows up...

[massivebigpantsface]

Its only been a month since we split and considering he has already moved his new girlfriend into our old flat, I think I'm doing ok.
I'm just so determined that, whatever has happened between us, we have as good a relationship as possible for dd's sake.

The problem is I know he feels guilty for what he has done to me but he also blames me for making him feel guilty. I don't go out of my way to do this - his feelings, his problem.

But it seems that he is just directing all his negative feelings at me. Some days he's fine and then others, like today when I dropped dd off at his flat, he was a complete and utter bastard.

I have done nothing wrong, all I want is for dd to feel safe and happy but how can we work together as her parents if he continues to treat me like this?

pants, I am not surprised that you don't want to hear about him and his girlfriend, you shouldn't have to and I, for one, would be shocked and slightly disturbed if you did.

Is there a third party that can help you out? A relative who can middle man between you and him when dropping off DD so you don't have to see him for a while? Not sure if that is practical not knowing your circumstances.

But still, if he can't be civil then ignore him. It is not your fault, non of it. Don't let his guilt make you feel awkward.

You are right that you have to try though. My parents split up when I was 7 and neither of them had any interest in making friends or being nice and it has taken 20 years for them to even be able to talk about each other without being horrid.

Oh MBPF, I didn't know this had happened. Much love to you. xxx

Pants - having read the thread more, I'd just like to say I am extremely proud of you! You are handling this so well. If you need help, just shout though honey.

oh thank you! loevly to hear from you all - BoM, Lilred - haven't seen you for ages!
I really appreciate your support.
BT are messing me around with getting my phone line sorted just now and I could really do with mn, and you lot, on these long lonely evenings!

I'm having a down day today - he's being a complete nasty piece of work again purely because he can't get his way over something (that could be a thread in itself!)
Its like he's a complete split person - fine yesterday, I really thought we could get on with things.

So I'm just going to carry on with what I set out to do and keep taking the moral high ground. Its done me the world of good just popping in here and reading your comments.
Thans again.

I split up with my X a week ago and I'm finding it very hard to not talk about THEIR relationship I believe we can be friends but just not yet. My X seems to be the one thats getting funny with me after what he did but I just can't help myself I feel so angry what he's done. I've decided now and I've told him that I can't chit chat with him coz it's too hard for me at the moment and thats what he got funny with, I can't win really.

Ds is doing great though especially at school, which is brill!!!

My advice even after a week would be to cut chit chat out until your ready, stuff what he says think of yourself a little bit.

good luck