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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

To work or not to work

71 replies

anonymoooose · 24/01/2022 09:21

Hi all. So will try and make a long story short - I’m a single mum to two kids, 10 years old and 18 months old (have an older son who lives away). I started a part time (18 hours) fixed contract in September. The contract is due to end on 31st March.
My problem is I hardly have any money to survive once I’ve been paid from this job.
I get £788 every month and my daughters nursery fee is £660. My sons after school club is £135 a month. This month UC have said they will give me £320 and they keep fluctuating so I can’t keep to my debt schedules. I went back to work because What I was getting from UC wasn’t enough so I thought working might be better but petrol and childcare, lunch for myself is just crippling me and I'm also thinking I should just stay home with my little girl until she goes to school. I’m just thinking it’s not worth working. I do like to work and meet people and keep my brain juices going but I’ve started defaulting on my bills and debt repayments now because I don’t have enough.
My contract might be renewed if the NHS trust get some more funding but I’m don’t think I should stay on. My anxiety and depression have come back as well as bailiffs because I haven’t been able to keep up. Just wondering what you guys suggest…
For me to be able to come off UC and work full time and cover my essentials childcare and debts I’d have to be earning quite a bit. I managed it when I was younger and only had the one son but now it’s so much harder
Anywho I appreciate any advice 🤗

OP posts:

unicornsarereal72 · 24/01/2022 11:47

Are you not declaring your child care costs to universal credits they will pay up to 85% of your childcare bill

I understand that sometimes working isn't always financially viable but you have to think of the other benefits. Working shows you setting a good example to your children good for your well being being out and meeting people etc.

If you have debts have to spoken to a charity that can help with these like step change or cap

Depending upon your circumstances you will be told to be working when your child is 3.

As the children get older you won't get state support. What are your long term plans and do you get child support for the children ( she says with a hollow laugh as I know the Cms service are rubbish)

Original poster

anonymoooose · 24/01/2022 22:36

@unicornsarereal72 Hi!
Yes I am declaring it so they give some back but I'm noticing each month it's fluctuating.

I'm thinking that when the free childcare comes in once she is 3 then I can get a part time job then so what I do earn doesn't get eaten by the fees.
I am working with stepchange to sort my debts but most of my debtors are quite ruthless and now I have defaulted on some payments they still turn up 😢
No support from the father for the children so it's all me

OP posts:

giggly · 24/01/2022 22:48

You really can’t not work because you have debts. Step change should be dealing with your creditors so you should have to. If you have a temporary job Witt heNHS you should snap it up , you’ll get a salary increase each year as well as UC top ups
I have debts, I have anxiety as well as a SN child and I manage to work full time. Why do you think it is ok to go back on benefits for 18 months?

Fashionesta · 24/01/2022 22:49

As a single parent you should get free childcare from age 2 so not long. I would keep on going. I'm surprised you end up with so little each month on that income as you would get the rent element plus two kids and you as well as child benefit. I say this as someone who was on UC and worked part time from the time my daughter was a similar age. Good luck.

Original poster

anonymoooose · 24/01/2022 23:11

@giggly when did I say it was ok to go back on benefits?! I am struggling with my decision as it is that's why I have asked for opinions but thanks for making me feel that extra bit worse

OP posts:

Original poster

anonymoooose · 24/01/2022 23:14

@Fashionesta Thank you 🙂
I have some deductions coming out of my UC for an advance to pay the childcare deposit so I think that's why my payments are low.
I'm thinking of finding something closer to me as well so the travel expense isn't so costly

OP posts:

unicornsarereal72 · 25/01/2022 07:05

You can ask for that deduction to be reduced and spread out over a longer period of time.

pinkpillower · 25/01/2022 07:20

@anonymoooose

I think what @giggly may have been inferring is that benefits really aren't a choice. It shouldn't be pick and choose between work or UC. You should keep working because you can and will ultimately lead to something better.

Benefits are a safety net when all else fails and you're desperate

Original poster

anonymoooose · 25/01/2022 07:32

@unicornsarereal72 oh really? I didn't know that. I will call and ask for that was possible.
Thank you 😊

OP posts:

bluejelly · 25/01/2022 07:36

Just sending support and empathy. I was a single mother when my dd was small, I worked and only just broke even. It was an investment in our future though, am now on a good salary and my dd is at uni. It is tough but it won't be forever

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/01/2022 07:40

If you’re financially worse off then don’t work- but I thought UC made it so you are better off working?

MissManagable · 25/01/2022 07:53

I doubt you'll get anyone who supports benefit claimants on MN op.....you need to decide what's best for you right now and don't give yourself a hard time whatever your decision-

And 'setting an example' to your children isn't running yourself into the ground! The OP has said she's struggling with depression, debt worry and doing this alone-

I'd suggest you take some advice (I was going to suggest Stepchange, well done to you for being proactive in this!) Also a lone parent charity (is Gingerbread still going?), perhaps the CAB can help you with the bailiffs also?

Roseshavethorns · 25/01/2022 08:58

Hi OP.
Your figures don't sound right. UC should give you an allowance for you, each of your children, rent (if you pay rent) and childcare. If 788 is your only income, unless you had extra wages this month or were paid twice in the calendar month, I would go back and ask them to look at the calculation again.
I wouldn't give up your job as I am sure that has implications for benefits.

OhamIreally · 25/01/2022 09:11

Hi I know you said you aren't getting any maintenance from your children's father but do you have a CMS case open?
I think it's disgusting that fathers get away without paying for their children.
Hope you manage to make it work OP it's very hard doing it alone.

felulageller · 25/01/2022 11:16

Go bankrupt. It clears the debts. Then go back to work once your 3 years is up.

bluejelly · 25/01/2022 11:47

Be careful with bankruptcy. It has knock on effects for mortgages and - I think - some jobs. Definitely worth taking advice from the CAB.

RogerDodger · 25/01/2022 11:53

Benefits are a safety net when all else fails and you're desperate

Well that’s not true is it? Because working people, even those working full time still get them because the low wages simply aren’t enough!

RogerDodger · 25/01/2022 11:55

OP would you be willing to put your figures on here? There are some really knowledgeable posters that may spot something isn’t quite right and show you how to fix it.

pinkpillower · 25/01/2022 12:00

@RogerDodger

Benefits are a safety net when all else fails and you're desperate

Well that’s not true is it? Because working people, even those working full time still get them because the low wages simply aren’t enough!

I meant to actively choose to go on full time benefits ( not top up wages benefit)

Not working is the absolute worst choice, things will be hard for a bit and it may not seem like it's worth it but staying in employment has many benefits other than a pay check, the longer you stay the more experience you get and can apply for higher paid jobs etc or get a rise in your current role.

RogerDodger · 25/01/2022 12:03

I meant to actively choose to go on full time benefits ( not top up wages benefit)

They’re not differentiated by “full time” or “wage top up” - it’s all one benefit and it’s based on your income. If you get a wage and UC you’re still on full time benefits. If you don’t get a wage and get UC you’re still on full time benefits. The only thing that differs is the amount you get.

pinkpillower · 25/01/2022 12:16

@RogerDodger

I meant to actively choose to go on full time benefits ( not top up wages benefit)

I don't know if you're purposely misunderstanding me, but my point was that nobody should be actively choosing to not work and survive solely off benefits.

I know what UC is and how it works( I used it get it!) But there is a difference between working and getting a top up from UC and purposely making yourself unemployed and relying only on UC

RogerDodger · 25/01/2022 12:23

I don't know if you're purposely misunderstanding me

I was correcting a commonly made mistake. The language you use matters- particularly when we consider the stigma attached not only to lone parents but those who don’t work.

But there is a difference between working and getting a top up from UC and purposely making yourself unemployed and relying only on UC

There is- and sometimes that difference is literally whether you can survive or not.

Ylvamoon · 25/01/2022 12:55

The thing for OP to consider is, if an opportunity for suittable work is still available in say 12-18 months time.

Currently the hours and childcare are working. Although the pay may not be great at the moment, earning
potential increases with time the same as cretin rights and benefits. (Including things like flexible working and parental leave)
Then there is the question if OP will get penalised for not continuing to work if her contact gets extended.

I think giving up working is very short sighted. Granted its hard to work with small children but it does get easier and will pay off in the long term.

user1471462115 · 25/01/2022 13:17

Don’t understand what you mean about lunches. Just take what you would have had at home.
Surely you are not buying a Meal Deal every day at work ?

Cheese and oatcakes and a bag of apples will cost a couple of ££ and last at least a week.

Danikm151 · 25/01/2022 13:59

Ask for a recalculation on your childcare costs on your journal.
Last mont i was told I was only getting £300 this month then it was calculated and they owed £500.
I generally have to do it every other month

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