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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

To work or not to work

71 replies

anonymoooose · 24/01/2022 09:21

Hi all. So will try and make a long story short - I’m a single mum to two kids, 10 years old and 18 months old (have an older son who lives away). I started a part time (18 hours) fixed contract in September. The contract is due to end on 31st March.
My problem is I hardly have any money to survive once I’ve been paid from this job.
I get £788 every month and my daughters nursery fee is £660. My sons after school club is £135 a month. This month UC have said they will give me £320 and they keep fluctuating so I can’t keep to my debt schedules. I went back to work because What I was getting from UC wasn’t enough so I thought working might be better but petrol and childcare, lunch for myself is just crippling me and I'm also thinking I should just stay home with my little girl until she goes to school. I’m just thinking it’s not worth working. I do like to work and meet people and keep my brain juices going but I’ve started defaulting on my bills and debt repayments now because I don’t have enough.
My contract might be renewed if the NHS trust get some more funding but I’m don’t think I should stay on. My anxiety and depression have come back as well as bailiffs because I haven’t been able to keep up. Just wondering what you guys suggest…
For me to be able to come off UC and work full time and cover my essentials childcare and debts I’d have to be earning quite a bit. I managed it when I was younger and only had the one son but now it’s so much harder
Anywho I appreciate any advice 🤗

OP posts:
caringcarer · 25/01/2022 14:08

You should take a packed lunch then can save the cost of eating put at work every day.

When your child is 2 you will get more childcare cost returned. Then more again at 3. Keep working and setting your DC a good example.

MissManagable · 25/01/2022 15:55

Cheese and oatcakes and a bag of apples will cost a couple of ££ and last at least a week

Only on MN.....🙄

dameofdilemma · 25/01/2022 16:49

And this is why we have a Tory government - the continued demonising of single parents who are struggling financially.

Only one PP has mentioned the blindingly obvious point that we live under a government who has chosen to make it remarkably easy for fathers not to pay maintenance for their children. Its so easy that (as this thread shows) barely anyone expects them to.

OP - other posters with more experience of the CMS might be able to give practical advice on how to pursue this.
Hang in there, you are doing your best.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/01/2022 17:05

@dameofdilemma

And this is why we have a Tory government - the continued demonising of single parents who are struggling financially.

Only one PP has mentioned the blindingly obvious point that we live under a government who has chosen to make it remarkably easy for fathers not to pay maintenance for their children. Its so easy that (as this thread shows) barely anyone expects them to.

OP - other posters with more experience of the CMS might be able to give practical advice on how to pursue this.
Hang in there, you are doing your best.

Have yet to see any bloody government make men pay!!!
Original poster
anonymoooose · 25/01/2022 17:52

@MissManagable you are definitely right on your first point 🙄 some heartless people about.

I haven't tried Gingerbread but I am going to have a look and see what advice is on there.
Thank you for suggesting that 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
anonymoooose · 25/01/2022 17:56

@Roseshavethorns thank you. Ive just got off the phone to UC and the man said it didn't look right and will look into it.
Hopefully it's an error on their part and things won't be this tight

OP posts:
Original poster
anonymoooose · 25/01/2022 17:59

@OhamIreally I gave CMS all his details last year. I paid the £20 for them to get things sorted and I haven't heard a thing or received any money. Once in a blue moon he'll shove £20 or £40 in my letterbox but that hasn't happened for a while

OP posts:
Original poster
anonymoooose · 25/01/2022 18:00

@RogerDodger hiya. Which figures should I post?

OP posts:
unicornsarereal72 · 25/01/2022 18:02

Have you chased up the CMS since you started the claim? Sometimes they need a nudge.

Fingers crossed the UC is amended in your favour.

FAQs · 25/01/2022 18:06

Your local MP can chase CMS on your behalf.

Original poster
anonymoooose · 25/01/2022 18:08

@Danikm151 😊 hi! I have called UC and was told the calculation doesn't look right but tbh each month is up and down and I have queried one low pay before and they said that their calculation is right so I was extremely short and didn't manage to pay a few things.
I don't want you i stay home like some people are insinuating. I'm just wondering how others cope 😩

OP posts:
RogerDodger · 25/01/2022 18:09

It’s good that UC are going to look into your claim.

I would also contact the CMS and chase up that claim too.

As for your figures, you don’t have to post them here if you don’t want. You could try putting them into the entitled to benefit calculator and seeing if they come up with the same figures as you’re getting.

Alternatively if you want to post here

Your monthly wage from your job
Your childcare costs
Your rent (if you pay any)
And if you know it- your local housing authority rate for rent (again- if you pay rent)

And then what UC are paying you.

audweb · 25/01/2022 18:13

Fingers crossed you get a better UC response, but honestly, if you’re more stressed by working and can return once there is more reasonable child care in place, don’t feel bad about doing it.

Plenty of couples do that -the difference is the main earner picks up the slack financially. you’re by yourself, carrying the burden of everything. If the cost of child care is wrecking things at the minute re visit work once you can afford to work, unless UC gets sorted and it makes it more doable. Lone parenting is hard enough, don’t let people make you feel bad for needing the safety net of benefits in any form.

Original poster
anonymoooose · 25/01/2022 18:13

@dameofdilemma yes you are right! Fathers (some) get to enjoy their full pay packet not giving a ff about the child they made and the woman keeping them clothed and fed etc.
I'm at a loss of what to do tbh.
Thank you for your advice Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
anonymoooose · 25/01/2022 18:14

@caringcarer thank you 😊

OP posts:
Twinkleylight · 25/01/2022 18:22

Do you get child benefit?

AlwaysOutside · 25/01/2022 18:26

That UC amount definitely doesn't look right to me! You should be getting more, especially with the child care

Original poster
anonymoooose · 25/01/2022 18:30

Hi @Twinkleylight yes I get child benefit but I use that to clear my rent arrears

OP posts:
Twinkleylight · 25/01/2022 18:31

Use the benefits calculator that I linked and see if you're getting everything you should be.

Original poster
anonymoooose · 25/01/2022 18:33

@felulageller I looked at bankruptcy but I don't have the money for the fee and they would probably take my little tin can car to clear some of the debt which won't make a dent in it and then I'd be without the car (which I know would be a less expense but I need it for hospital appointments)

OP posts:
Original poster
anonymoooose · 25/01/2022 18:34

@bluejelly yes I saw the cons of bankruptcy 🤦🏽‍♀️ scary fee for starters

OP posts:
GinUnicorn · 25/01/2022 18:35

That figure definitely looks off so keep at the UC people. Can you work out a debt plan for payments?

Otherwise I’d advise packed lunches to save and bulk cooking. It’s also worth remembering that the job leads to prospects. It’s tough now but you get the benefit of pension contributions, pay increases, career prospects and paid holiday and sick pay.

Entitled to is really good for working out your UC amount.

Good luck

Viviennemary · 25/01/2022 18:42

I can't see the point in working if you are no better off and are stressed out doing everything. Make sure your UC payments are correct. It is more expensive going out to work. Clothes, travel costs lunches coffees. In the short term yes I would consider giving up work in your circumstances

FlemCandango · 25/01/2022 19:17

I am a benefits adviser for Citizens Advice. A few things you have mentioned op that concern me.

  1. using your UC advance to pay childcare - that shouldn't have happened - there is a "flexible support fund" that job centres can access for helping people get into work - childcare is something it can be used for and it is not paid back.
  2. paying off rent arrears with child benefit - councils have a discretionary housing fund you can apply for to help meet a shortfall in rent and sometimes help with arrears. Again not something you have to pay back.
  3. your UC sounds too low so get that recalculated. It could be correct but I never assume with the DWP🙄

None of the above is your fault at all and as the funds are discretionary they are not guaranteed but they are worth applying for.