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Original poster

my exH's nice GF has just called me a "F#cking B#tch" cos I phoned to speak to MY CHILDREN

40 replies

mistletoemiggins · 27/12/2007 17:56

I am fumming

I rang my inlaws house early (4.30 instead of 6pm) to speak to the children & she answered. She is obviously at my inlaws while they have gone out with my children & daddy - obviously spending all day yesterday with them was too much for her & she needed time alone.

All I did was ask he to get my ex to phone when they got back....she then shouted at me for not phoning at 6pm as arranged & when I pointed out that my MIL wouldnt mind me phoning early & that it was none of her business, she shouted "go away you FB"

Im livid & gobsmacked. I have gone out of my way to make sure I never say anything negative about her to the children so that they are happy & secure, and thats the respect I get.

Im sure some people will think its only words but it was completely unprovoked & I just dont use language like that.

At least I didnt retaliate and will phone at 6pm as I have been told.

then my ex wonders why I dont want her sitting outside the car when he brings them back - she is just so 2 faced and aggressive.
Nice person to be around my children - my DS said they have a shouting box that daddy & GF put money in if they shout

OP posts:
TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 27/12/2007 18:05

Oh MrsMiggins, how unpleasant for you. I hope everything was OK when you phoned back (it's just gone 6pm).

Original poster
mistletoemiggins · 27/12/2007 18:13

Ive just phoned & spoken to the children which was nice.
My ex then put the phone down b4 I could ask what time Im ALLOWED to phone tomorrow and to ask when he is bringing them back - I know its Sat but have no idea when

obviously his GF has had a go at him about me which is why he wont speak - this isnt the first time she has sworn & shouted at me down the phone & then made out I swore at her.
Fortunately my ex knows thats not what I do....

great feeling - my children are 3 hrs away & I am not allowed to phone his parents house....

OP posts:
SelfishMrsClaus · 27/12/2007 18:17

How is your MIL with you generally? Is she a reasonable person? Would she mind you calling at an unscheduled time?

ginnedupudding · 27/12/2007 18:19

What a nasty piece of work .

I would just phone anyway. They are your children and if your MIL doesn't mind you phoning, what business is it of hers anyway?

Original poster
mistletoemiggins · 27/12/2007 18:21

my in laws r lovely & welcome me phoning - I phoned them Xmas day so they could speak to the children....I am happy for them to phone whenever to speak to the children
since he left 2 yrs ago I have had them to stay for the weekend several times and in April while on a break with my friend & kids, I rang them so they could bring exH's grandma to see us (we were staying nearby)

he on the other hand has been up once this year WITHOUT the children

so yes, they are very reasonable & if shed answered the phone there wouldnt be a problem

the trouble is I ask exH to phone between 6 & 6.30 - this is purely cos he used to phone when it suited him & so sometimes the children were eating or in the bath - I thought it easier so we all knew where we were.
SHE obviously has a problem with me even though shes the one that had the affair wiht my husband and TOLD me about it so that I found out

no point phoning the house now in case it causes an arguement in front of the children

OP posts:
Surfermum · 27/12/2007 18:28

How horrible. I remember how I used to feel when dh's x used to do this sort of thing to me. I used to sit there thinking "but I didn't do/say anything to warrant that" and then feel completely disempowered as I couldn't/wouldn't retaliate as a) it wasn't something I'd do and b) even if I did it wouldn't be the best thing for dsd.

The way I used to look at it was that she obviously has "issues" if she feels the need to speak to me like that. And hand on heart I knew that I had never done anything to warrant it, so it was all her stuff and nothing to do with me.

Why are you only allowed to phone at certain times? Who has said that?

Original poster
mistletoemiggins · 27/12/2007 18:35

he told me I could only phone at 6pm - like I said, its cos I have a time for him BUT ive explained to him the reason that it seems better to have a window so I know to be home, fed & kids ready to talk to daddy wihtout distractions.

Im angry that she can speak to me like that & then I get treated badly by him

god knows when they are coming home Sat - how can u plan if you have no idea?

I think ur right though - she clearly has issues with me for some reason

what hurts ius that I was pleasant to her when they came to pick the kids up and then she shouts at me when noone around to hear.

OP posts:
TLV · 27/12/2007 18:36

how horrible, hope you are ok, glad you have spoken to them tho. Do these things ever get easier

Original poster
mistletoemiggins · 27/12/2007 18:37

thing is though Surfermum (and it doesnt make it right) but these are MY children - shes the step-partner and is shouting at me for ringing to speak to my LOS

OP posts:
FlllightAttendant · 27/12/2007 18:38

Gosh. Poor you!

It just goes to show that they don't always move on to better pastures, iyswim! Feel very proud of yourself for being a nice person

Original poster
mistletoemiggins · 27/12/2007 18:38

Im over 2 yrs on TLV so I hope so eventually

the joke is that ex told me that I should be able to be pleasant to GF as its 2 yrs on & then she speaks to me like that

OP posts:
Surfermum · 27/12/2007 18:44

Of course you need to know when they'll be home Sat. I'd be inclined to ring back to find out or send a text.

You're so lovely and that is probably what she has a problem with. Despite everything that happened, you have always put your children first and you've been pleasant to her. You don't shout at them in front of the children, you haven't prevented any contact and you get on really well with his parents. If she's insecure and comparing herself to you she has a lot to live up to. She might also not be able to come to terms with the fact that you are always going to be around and always going to have a relationship of some sort with your xh because of the children. Some people find that difficult to come to terms with.

Original poster
mistletoemiggins · 27/12/2007 18:48

I have sent him a polite txt but he has not responded.

Its not his parents fault that he went off - they think hes an idiot but hes their son so have to bite their tongue.

As for feeling insecure, I just dont get it - she knew he was married with 2 children so must have expected me to be in the picture forever. Maybe she expects his family to ignore me, but as he lives 5 hrs away from his parents, if they dont keep contact with me, they'll hardly see the children. I live in the middle of them both you see.

oh well not going to give it another thought - will just ring tomorrow at 6pm and hope thats acceptable

OP posts:
macdoodle · 27/12/2007 20:14

She is insecure and can you blame the silly bint..she took something that wasn't hers to take...and will forever live with the fear he will go back to you or do the same to her....she gets what she deserves ..stupid cow they are your kids ring when you want

Janos · 27/12/2007 20:59

at her behaviour and for you. How bloody dare she? That's just outrageous and COMPLETELY out of order.

Original poster
mistletoemiggins · 27/12/2007 21:05

my ex has replied to my txt finally telling me I can ring tom at 4pm and tha they will be home sometime after 12noon

I have replied politely asking him to drop kids off at my parents as I have no wish to see them if he has no respect for me.

at least I can hold my head up high as over last 2 yurs have NEVER disrespected either of them to my children, never stopped contact or phoning and I am repaid by foul language.

my ex is a verbal bully so no point ringing other than when told otherwise things will be twisted....would love to hear her "side" of the story tonight - the way she shouted, shes clearly been waiting to do that for months & I gave her the opportunity today

OP posts:
Janos · 27/12/2007 21:08

She's obviously tremendously insecure. That's not an excuse though.

Oh, and probably a complete bitch to boot.

Seriously, completely out of order and how totally unfair that you have to deal with it.

Original poster
mistletoemiggins · 27/12/2007 21:11

when my ex first left, my DS who was 3.5 at the time got bad excsma (sp)
he gets it when Im very stressed

my brother rang his GF to have a go at her (yes not good I know) and told her that DS had excsma - she swore at him & said it wasnt her problem & didnt care....

nice girl

as someone said, grass may look greener but life isnt always better when you leave....

I have my grandpas funeral tomorrow too which ex knows but obviously doesnt care....havent told my family about tonights episode as dont want them stressed out about that too

good job I have MN - been my life line for last 3 yrs - good & bad times....

OP posts:
yerblurt · 27/12/2007 21:18

If she repeats any of this behaviour then maybe you should think about recording your telephone calls.

Then confront her with any evidence and point out that you will be approaching the police with a view to making a formal complaint about harrassment .... that should shut her stupid face up.

honestly some people are just so pig ignorant...

Heated · 27/12/2007 21:21

Good on you for remaining graceful and dignified in the face of GF's venom. You are very savvy in knowing what's obviously best for your children and it must drive GF mad!!

Do you do a serene and slightly pitying look as well when you look at exH's GF, lol?

bogie · 27/12/2007 21:22

I would say i don't want her being around my children so from now on if you want to see them you can on your own.

lizziemun · 27/12/2007 22:01

Is he doing it again to her and thats why she reacted the way she did to you.

Original poster
mistletoemiggins · 27/12/2007 22:12

I doubt he is being unfaithful to her as they work together & live locally
I think that maybe its the fact that I am constantly decent about her to my kids & his family including aunts still send me Xmas cards

not my problem

actually feel sorry for him as he likes the easy life & she sounds like high maintenance

OP posts:
Heated · 27/12/2007 22:36

I wonder if she gets compared unfavourably? (hee hee)

GloriaInEleusis · 27/12/2007 22:41

She sounds like a bloody lunatic.

Hang in there migs. You are fab. He is a twat. (in fact, I think when he hooked up with wicked lunatic he got just what I would have wished for him )

Seriously, good for you for rising above. And good for you for politely sticking up for yourself and saying you don't deserve this.