How did we do, lone parents?

[coldtits]

Fabulously of course. We always do. That's why our children adore us.

Hello CT

Am doing fabulously now that ex H has left for the day. I feel like a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders and my Christmas can now really start. I have been teary in the days leading up to Christmas partly because I sort of knew what today would be like.

ExH came around at about 10 with a bottle of wine (brought from his new partner's house), moaned he was sooo tired (er doing what exactly), moaned about the temperature in the house and called us a 'farside family' just before and during lunch which caused me to completely loose it with him.

LOL I also offered him a coffee and he had to check whether it would be instant because I 'might have lowered my standards'. No I am using a cafetiere you big pr*

(He is now part of a more middle class (his words not mine) extended family. And the other day when we thought we were all (me and the DCs and him and his new partner and her family) going to be in the same place to do Christmas shopping he warned me off on the pretence it might upset the DCs WTF -they have met her and it's all OK as far as I can see.)

Did nothing to assist with the lunch or clearing up. And when he left at 9pm said goodbye to DCs but did not thank me for lunch or hospitality!!!

Told the DCs he was ashamed of them at one point during the day. [sad} I am sorry to say that this is quite a regular occurence. Moaned about the construction of toys as usual.

Needless to say we won't be doing the same next year, this is second Christmas we have been apart - I just can't take it.

By next he will have moved in with new partner and I am happy for the DCs to spend one day with them and one with me - alternating if necessary.

But I hope my DCs appreciate what I do for them. But they also adore their daddy and he can be so scathing to them at times.

Sorry for the ramble. Hope the rest of Christmas goes well for everyone.

Great.
dd1 left a note addressed to Mother Christmas.

Evening All!

Had Christmas two days ago, as you do - boys are now at their Dad's. It was brilliant. No one to take the shine off it. Citylover, try it; you won't believe the difference.

P.S. if you need a laugh, go read F&Z's thread about smarties and sex. I am totally sober and have been sat here laughing out loud .

that thread sounds fun! where is it?!

Think I need to read that thread too!

My day was not bad, DH (what do I call him when we are just separated??) came over in the morning, stayed for lunch then headed back to his about 3.30pm with the DC in tow. I had a little cry when they left but perked up again later on, thanks to Dr Who and a bottle of wine

just H or xH ??

Was very glad to get rid of exH this evening, He spent the whole of Christmas eve texting on his phone, even in the church before the service started. He went in the huff when I passed comment on this.

He had previously agreed he would be staying on Christmas day until kids were in bed (after me telling he he was being an idiot for wanting to leave int he after noon as he was working boxing day),

he then anounced during the afternoon he would have to go earlier as he didn't know dinner was going to be so late????? He went in the huff again and said if I was going to start he would leave now, I said so you will break their hearts to spite me because I think you should stay longer.

Why the hell does the timing of dinner mean you have to leave earlier. I managed to persuede him to stay until bed time, he still left 2hrs before they went to bed. After spending ages in the shower , I think he should have waited until he went back to where he is bloody living before tarting himself up for the benefit of his GF. He even slinked off for half an hour during the afternoon presumably to phone her.

Arse!! this was meant to be a day for the kids.

They cheered me up, we had that lovely bedtime chat where they talked about there presents, and DS told me he wwould miss me tomorrow because I am so fun (I am working during the afternoon). I cuddled them in and reminded myself that I love them so much and they love me, my beautiful babies.

First Christmas since separation and it was much better than I expected.

DexH was here for breakfast, played with DS, we went to visit a neighbour together and left messages in friends answering machines wishing them a happy christmas. DS was so happy it hurt (he definitvely enjoys seeing us together )

Then dinner at his house, which involved lots of talking, a movie and not washing up! Felt sad to leave DS there though.

Def time for bed now, I stupidly watched Love Actually and sobbed all the way through, faffing about now so I am going to take a cuppa to bed and read for a bit, otherwise my brain starts doing that stupid thing and I will start to bubble. I've got a good book that requires a lot of concentration .

Forgot to add, Managed to cover exH's jeans in hot goose fat. Well I didn't do it, he was in the kitchen when the stack of dirty hot fatty trays collapsed off the work top and splattered everywhere. Oh dear!!!

[snigger]

Oh what a lot of hopeless men we are all well rid of!

We didn't have a bad day. Ds1 (4) very overexcited because I'm particularly stressed out (re the DWP) at the moment, which I won't go into, but it makes him hyper is he knows I'm preoccupied. Anyway having dressed him we headed over to Grandma's, where he had a great time, then home to cook lunch (only down the road) and he actually ate what I cooked

then back to Grandma's to see the horrible Great Grandma, which was a 'steel-yourself' thing, she is a doom laden old woman but hey it's once a year.

Home again and Ds1 went to sleep so I taped Dr. Who for him and then watched some of Love Actually till I couldn't be bothered any more and carried both Ds's in turn up to bed.

Nobody wet the bed. Nobody was sick. And best of all, no word whatsoever from either of my ex's! Yes!

DS and I had a fabulous day yesterday, just the two of us! We ate all our favourite foods (DS doesn't like roasts so we didn't bother with the traditional christmas lunch).

We curled up on duvets on the sofa and watched Studio Ghibli films, ate lots of chocolate, and set up a massive railway tracks in the sitting room.

A great day.

No presents for DS from his dad (as usual!) but three other ex bfs had managed to get it together to send christmas presents for DS, and get him things he would like!

Awww nice ex boyfriends!

I spent from lunchtime xmas eve, until 4am xmas morning with my head in a bucket whilst sat on the loo, but other than that we had a nice time

Oh well done Nutty, you must be ever so tired!

okish I guess - H stayed over and we "played" at families....then he disapperaed to pub oh yes I remember how we ended up like this in first place...
he clumsily tried to talk about OW baby and only succeeded in upsetting me then said " we could work it out" - oh how the flying fuck do we do that....he stayed last night then showered and disappeared this morning ...he says to go home (his flat) to do washing and ironing....methinks to see OW and baby - bit of honesty would go a long way ...oh well WILL not be doing the same next year thats for bloody sure !!!

Ah, Nutty - I had one Christmas like that and Boxing Day is dreadful, too - headache and generally shattered. Can your Mum help you out?

OH KNorks how awful to hear this - hope you can find a way through.

Just as a follow up to yesterday he also moaned about kneeling on the floor (to look at a toy) as it would spoil his trousers!! Double WTF,

And has also asked for his bottle of wine back temporarily so he can take it to a party he is going to with the DCs today.

Hmmmmm

We will be doing it so much differently next year.

OK - so, how do you take a bottle of wine back temporarily ? Did you ever see it again?

OMG, KNorks, is there anyone that can muck in? How old are you DCs? What about neighbours? Mine just asked me to go to them on New Year's Eve, so I wouldn't be alone - I was so touched, they hardly know me and it was genuinely kind of them - a more the merrier sort of approach to life. Let people help; those that offer will actually want to do it.

1066 - he says he will replace it! Watch this space.

Ah, but are you holding your breath ?

Glad to report that it wasnt as bad as anticipated. Still breaks my heart that ds doesnt have the 'normal' family. Could not POSSIBLY have xp here. We broke when ds was a lil baby, so even I dont remember mummy and daddy together, let alone him! We also had santa early and it was amazing! Sometimes I feel quite down on myself, but I was SO cut out to be a mummy and the Festive period bit with my/our family just reinforces that. Today the washing up, tomorrow the world!

Ive had a crap XMAS and just feel miserable
ex had kids weekend b4 and so I had Xmas EVE & Xmas Day
yes I know that sounds great, but had trouble with DD (3) the 2 days she was home - clingy and crying at the slightest thing
she did not look happy going off with daddy today

just spent Boxing Day with DP & his family and I just felt out of it
have come home to an empty house full of toys & am working tomorrow & then funeral on Friday

just cant face this being my Xmas every year without the children

I know there are plenty of women in miserable relationships and I know that I had Xmas day with them BUT it still sucks

Aw Miggins sorry you are having a crappy time.

I really don't know how I want to work this all next year . My main thing is to keep the kids and MIL happy. Yes MIL to be kept happy, she is a very good friend and looks after the kids so I can work part-time, much effort to be made to keep her on side .

He was supposed to come tomorrow, but can't get time off work , funny he is the boss so who is stopping him? Said he will come on Thursday evening, I wonder if he means tomorrow or next week.