How did we do, lone parents?

[coldtits]

Fabulously of course. We always do. That's why our children adore us.

my ex told me that hes taking his turn with school hols by having them this week - but his office is shut so not exactly having to TAKE holiday

I hgave to cover feb half term & easter hols by myself AND as a bonus I DONT get the children over Xmas

great

feel like running away to be honest but I know thats not the answer

My exH never takes time off too have them even when he was with me (apart from one week at easter for our holiday abroad.) I am fed up with his work coming first, thats what finished us off, but he changed me for a younger model instead of ghanging his job or work patterns.

I only work part-time and if I have to take days off to look after them or take them to activities I don't get paid, only if I put in for a week off then it is only a part-week payment I get depending on how much I managed to work in the 12 weeks previous.

Its all to suit him, but I am not playing anymore [stamps foot] .

Scramble - u r like me
my ex worked & worked - I even asked him to stay away rather than have to comute so far - so he did in hotels with his tart that he works with - I gave them my blessing when I thought I was looking after him

golden boy is at his parents showing off the children while Im stuck at home surrounded by toys & off to work tomorrow....

Dear MM,

sorry it wasn't a happier time. Problem solving head on - how about doing bigger chunks of time? Could it be all the toing and froing upsetting your DD? Would a week with each parent be better for her? Would your ex- be any good with them for a week? Could you go away for next Christmas - the perfect excuse for having them for a week?

Pre-kids, we went to Lanzarote and it was very different and enjoyable - Christmas day on the beach.

I'm not surprised going to your DP's side wasn't easy - I have avoided friends with small children since the boys went. I am living in a parallel universe, where Christmas doesn't exist and it is not as painful. Take care. Hope work keeps you really busy and the time flies until they are home.

We had a great Christmas day.
Well, until 3pm when DS1 and DS2 went to their Dads. I was so to not have them here all day.
Tried to have fun with DD1 and DD2 but they were tired and grizzly and i really wasn't in the mood.
They came home at 3pm today and i was so glad to see them home.
All in all its been a good Christmas.

1066 I think ur right - going to ex twice with 2 days with me in between has unsettled her....she is poorly too & suffers with asthma & while with ex last weekend, his DP's parents smoked infront of my children which I dont think helped her asthma

I think ur right about the visiting other families with kids but what can I do? spend Xmas by myself? probably shouldnt spend Boxing day with DP - if Id been at my brothers, would have had my neice & nephew & my parents, & probably would ahve been easier for me - will try that next yr....

having said that, have suggested going away for Xmas to DP tonight & he said yes, so maybe thats the answer - just him & our 3 kids

ExH is never getting the kids to stay with him so I am not doing week about!!

Funny in this split I get the kids, the house the PIL and all the his crap he doesn't want, you wouldn't believe the bags of stuff I had to pile up of his stuff, if it wasn't for the kids I would have put it all in the garden. I made him take it all away because he is shacked up at his GF's mothers house so I knew he wouldn't have much space.

So I did dinner with the PIL and his aunt and Uncle today, he didn't come.

So, it is down to the travel agent's tomorrow, then ?

Scramble, are your in-laws worth holding onto? I have some lovely ex-sister-in-laws (my brother is the git) and I mentally swopped my brother for my second ex-sister-in-law's new husband years ago. Now, did you keep up with that?!

MM - do you have a written agreement with your ex? I'd be re-writing it, with a clause about all smoking taking place outside, away from the children due to their asthma. It's all the low level worries - DD not well, the smoking, her being unhappy that have knocked you. How are they on the 'phone?

Had a fabby xmas but dd is very very very very very very hyper and has been for three days (normally very grown up and placid so I don't know how to deal with this new personality change!), so thinks I'm Jeckyll and Hyde because she's driving me mad! Only four days until she sees her daddy and does xmas there, hopefully she'll be as hyper for him! Thank god that's over for another year though! xx

Yes my PIL are def worth holding onto, they are lovely albeit a bit annoying sometimes, but who isn't. Only had one MIL strop over her blue eyed boy since we split. We both said a few things then came to a truce. Few things I would have liked to have said, but I am not out to hurt her or upset her. She thinks this woman is just putting him up, he left me for her, and had spent nights there before he left, so she ain't just a friend.

Sramble - that is hard. My lovely, Great-Uncle excused his son's similar behaviour by claiming their very fab ex-DIL was a lesbian. Mmm, didn't see that one coming but I suppose we are all somewhat biased about our loved ones. It took them years to accept their son was the one to blame for the break-down in the relationship.

First Xmas as lone parent.
Bartered with XP that I would cook him dinner Xmas Day if he would sit with the kids till I went out for a beer Xmas Eve.
He tried to pull out of it at last minute but showed eventually.
Rolled in early hours of Xmas eve pissed and had to sort out pressies and tags and stockings and it occured to me that I had done all of the buying, arranging, lists bla bla bla and he was on the sofa having done NOTHING. Wondered whether I was the bad parent for being a pissed Santa or he was or having done nothing.
At 2am I took a walk to my car to get my MP3 player and sat playing scrabble online till 3am tap tap tapping...possibly irritating XP a little
No arguements on the day...even though his first words were "Christmas - Not so much of the Happy" I just thought oh FECK OFF...why not just say nothing at all?
Anyway...He sat on his ass all day...I did dinner and cleared up, he sat, and when my mates came round I thought he would go, but he didnt.
Hours later, they let and then he did and he said Thanks for everything bla bla shouldnt have said what I said this morning..etc...and it was uneventul.

Boxing Day was when it blew up