Just about had enough

[hatemylifeforgoodnesssake]

At a really low ebb this evening. I thought I was doing ok, juggling a full time job, her nursery, and my dog.

Dropped a day of work, which has just made my life more stressful (now, got five days crammed into four) and now I am nearly £10k a year worse off.

I am going to have to give up my dog. I can't afford her, nor do the juggling or dog Walker fees. I am so stressed, and just can never switch off, from the moment I wake up, it's 120%.

I am exhausted. But I can't rest. Don't want to go to sleep this evening as I know I'll be woken up at 5am. Then will have to be fun mummy until bedtime.

Do you have a spare room? Could you get an au pair/rent cheaply for someone who'd then help out? I did that for a year when I moved to the UK. I was rent free in a very expensive city, and had to do school runs 4 days a week, the odd chore, some babysitting in the evening. I worked from home, it was win win.

Or have you tried BorrowMyDog?

@SethWho that's exactly it. I feel like they feel I play the single mum card, I am still trying to earn back favour from the four days I had to take when dd had chicken pox. When I had no other option but to stay at home with her. They keep bringing it up.

It's awful, and so so so hard. I totally empathise.

OP this might not be applicable but on a recent thread the OP earned £47k and was due around £300-£400 in universal credit, for childcare. If you could get more towards childcare you could free up cash for dog walker, and perhaps keep you DD in nursery an extra time while you rest? Look up the Turn2Us benefit calculator. benefits-calculator-2.turn2us.org.uk/

Single parent of 2 here, also a secondary teacher on 4 days. It's exhausting, I feel your pain.

I'd rehome the dog, personally. I could not afford what you pay for it, plus the extra head space another living creature takes up. Circumstances change, its beyond your control. These things happen.

I would check with your union that you are getting the correct non teaching time. My school are very family friendly, but we have cracking unions to ensure we are not working over our working time agreement unless we volunteer to. I'm in Scotland though, I think our unions carry more weight.

I'm hugely struggling with marking (English teacher). I had maternity leave January to June and I've just not caught a breath since and feel hugely behind. Its not easy.

Keep going, it will hopefully get easier.

It might be time to consider another job if you are close enough to other schools.

I have done 4 days a week but was teaching 3 days a week in my last job and this felt more reasonable as they had to reduce my workload to match - I don’t think they bother to do it for 4 days as you say - just cram the same job into less time and money. If it meant less childcare and dog care fees - is there any way you could consider that as a lifestyle choice? You can’t go on like this.

I'm upset people reported this, you sound so genuine. The dog Walker rate really does sound as good as you would get. Sorry I know that isn't helpful. But this time next year surely you will make a good saving on childcare so it is only short term. I wish I was your neighbour I would happily walk your dog with my own (as long as it wasn't dangerous!)

Single mum from the get go so I feel your exhaustion. I redesigned (slowly) my life to fit around the changing needs of my DD. We moved to a cheaper area, I started my own business so I could work hours that worked for me, and employ several people to help me. That's ideal when it all goes pear shaped and you need time off which you will need more of when your LO goes to school. I have a low maintenance cat and we live a frugal but happy life. Just see whether you could swap teaching for private tuition for a few years maybe until DD is older. Get dog rehomed (sorry but that sounds like a major stresser for you) and be kind to yourself xxx