Baby cries all the time

[WhoSaid]

I'm at the end of my tether - she cries all the time .....

She's 10 weeks. Breastfed. Cries. All. The. Time
Doesn't sleep - naps for 15 mins if I'm lucky during the day and even then it's only if I hold her.

She Screams, goes red, goes stiff and won't settle unless I'm holding her then starts all over again after maybe 5 minutes

I thought it was colic at first - GP said so - but surely she wouldn't cry all the time; I mean all the time.
Ive called them twice and they keep saying it's colic and don't even see me/ her (covid so phone appointments still)

Infacol / gripe water doesn't work
Only thing that gives her sone relief is baby calpol - which just makes her sleep for max 1 hour - then it starts all over again

I don't go out now because what's the point? She screams.
In the car, she screams
Food shopping; she screams

I don't sleep because she doesn't sleep. The 3 hours I get at night is broken, I'm sitting up in bed holding her; then she'll fall asleep & I usually drop off holding her - I know I shouldn't but I can't not get any sleep

I don't know what to do
I can't carry on like this - it's making me wish I wasn't a mum

Can i suggest you try the hv..is she breast fed / bottle fed ?

I would also suggest you post i general chat for more support. You must be exhausted. Is there anyone who can look after her for a few hours whilst you get some sleep?

Hi, are you bottle feeding? Could she be allergic to dairy?

@Starlightstarbright1

She's breastfed; I'm on my own with her as her "dad" left me and I don't have any family locally And I wouldn't want to inflict this torture onto anyone else

I keep ringing the HV but the line is always busy & no-one ever calls me back when I leave a message

Thank you; I've posted elsewhere to see if that brings any joy

I'd ask the gp to prescribe her something for reflux and see if that helps.

Hey, OP you poor thing :(
I had one of these babys and your post has brought back some hard memories. For mine it was definitely some severe colic going on, some little ones really do struggle with it. Colief was one thing that kind of helped (gripe water infacol didn’t) plus switching from breast milk to HIP formula but your HV should be able to advise you better - have you contacted them at all? I’m sure you have !
I was very lucky and had my mum around the corner so she would come often and stay over and have him in her room while I slept. I hope you have support ? Sleep deprivation is a form of torture and isn’t to be taken lightly.
I also tried every sort of swinging chair so that I could put him down for a while. He seemed to only enjoy baby bjorn bouncer and I used to fall asleep bouncing him with my foot and catch a quick 40 mins then. He seemed to stop crying only in that bouncer 😖
Above all though I am afraid the only thing that really helped was time. Hang in there OP you are doing great and one day this will be a distant memory like it is for me now that my DS sleeps 12 hours a night.
Take care and if you want to chat I’m around.
Best wishes

This sounds so difficult and it sounds like you are doing an amazing job. If the crying really is 24/7 maybe a trip to A&E might get to the bottom of it. Even colicky baby’s should be crying all the time.

My first had colic, absolutely awful, my heart goes out to you. My second had reflux which was really helped by me drinking fennel tea. When she was weaned it turned out she had a diary allergy, which was also probably the case with the first, had I been more knowledgeable. I’d try some dietary changes.

Have you tried giving her a bottle to see if she settles better ?

OP huge sympathies, that is very hard, especially as a single parent. Please try again with your HV. You need support, and I know they will prioritise you for a visit given your circumstances. Have you been able to leave them a voicemail describing your situation?

💐💐💐💐

That sounds really tough.

How are her nappies? Are they wet/dirty? Wondering if it's worth looking into allergies. A friend had a baby like this who seemed to have explosive nappies and possibly had stomach pains but obviously couldn't tell anyone - it turned out she has Cows Milk Protein Allergy (CMPA) so was given special formula which was life changing!

Do you have a sling, I had a clingy screamer and it was a lifesaver during the day. She napped in there or in an electronic swing which I got from Facebook.

For nighttime have a look at safe co-sleeping and feeding lying down. You both need sleep and this saved my sanity.

Keep pushing to see a doctor or harass your health visitor to come and see your baby in action. She might be able to help push things too.

won't settle unless I'm holding her then starts all over again after maybe 5 minutes

^ I have got so much happier since accepting that I simply must hold my baby in order for her to sleep. I make sure I have drinks and snacks around me and go to the toilet etc in between feeds so that I can just sit there as she naps. Immediately after a feed if I want to get things done I put her in the carrier and sometimes she drops off to sleep but otherwise I then get her out when I can and allow her to contact nap again.

Infant gaviscon, just one sachet, mixed with a tiny bit of expressed milk in a cup about 11pm means I can put her down to sleep for a bit for the first part of the night. I am still then up holding for most of the time after her first night feed, but I do get a chunk of sleep from about 11-2.30 thanks to the gaviscon.

It's really tough. You're doing great!

This was my niece. She was unbearable to be around as every waking moment bar her being fed she was as red as a tomato,stiff and screaming. It was distressing for everyone. My brother and partner and their baby ended up suffering 9 months of this screaming and endless HV/GP/hospital visits for her to be diagnosed with silent reflux and a dairy intolerance. Once her milk was switched and she had medication she improved vastly. If your DD is breastfed does she have any issues with her tongue that could be causing her pain?

My niece is now a happy 3 year old, but I really feel for you as it is so hard. I hope you get her sorted soon

I would put a lot of money on this being a dairy intolerance and/or silent reflux. Both are enough to bring parents to their knees. You need to ring your HV and insist on some support. This won't last forever and it is so painful whilst it does. xx

Colic kicks in at this sort of age, it sounds like she's really distressed & maybe in pain, so colic could fit. I feel for you too as it's awful to deal with

My DD had colic at this age & was EBF, my friend who works in alternative healthcare told me to look at what I was eating... Colic according to her is down to certain food passing to DD via my milk & causing gas. I cut out the layered veg that was suggested, so no onion, leek, lettuce, sprouts, cabbage etc & the colic cleared up very quickly

It can also be down to artic sweeteners in food you eat, though I can't tolerate that stuff myself, so it an issue for us.

Baby massage, & Epsom salts & lavender & or chamomile oil in her bath also help a lot

Good luck

You are doing an amazing job lots of great advice on here I hope things improve for you. Could you maybe try a baby papoose carrier at least you will be hands free! Good luck OP I hope you get help in RL soon 💐

My baby had severe colic too and I was a single mum - Hang in there it will improve

I breast fed for 6 months and only realised he had a dairy intolerance when he had his first formula bottle.

In those days Soya formula was prescribed but I’m sure there are better alternatives now

Try cutting our things from your diet see if it improves.

If it does turn out to be dairy intolerant, look out for other food allergies too

Hi everyone - didn't expect to get so many replies so I'll try to answer them all while she's asleep - for all of 10 mins!

She's been like this since maybe week 3/4 - they told me colic .... I've tried all the OTC stuff and she's getting worse

Her wet nappies; are wet ... and Her dirty nappies are explosive - brown / yellowish and always runny - you can hear it coming out of her and she really strains to get it out; makes the noises, clenching fists and goes red pulling her knees up
She normally has one dirty nappy a day and the rest wet

I have been giving her one bottle at bed time - mam bottles & aptamil - that doesn't seem to be doing anything either ... she takes maybe 2/3oz? Then screams

I'm not sure about tongue tie - they said she was fine at her 8 week check - how would I know if she had this?

I did buy a sling and she hates it ... screams in that too screams even more in the car

I'm going to try the HV again; if I get no luck I might even go to the children's centre and insist on seeing a midwife and see if they can get me a HV even on the phone would be helpful!
Also going to call the GP again Monday and demand something - they keep just saying colic; she's fine; and leaving me

I had PND after my first daughter, then had depression before becoming pregnant and I am so worried that I'll get PND because of this

Please look at the advice on colic from myself & other posters. Colic has a cause, the only way to stop it is to address the cause, which will be what YOU eat if she's EBF. It's really hard for you, I get that, but you have a tiny baby on your hands who is suffering severe stomach pain & she needs help. Listen to her & help her

It sounds so tough. Will she take a dummy at all? It was a life saver with my first.

Also I know a couple of mums who gave up dairy while breast feeding and it really helped. You have to check the labels of everything! Might be worth trying for a couple of weeks to see.

Also are there any baby groups run by volunteers where you could get support?

I'm not medically trained but I remember my niece's nappies were also explosive and she had terrible wind. I believe she was put on medication for her silent reflux and her milk was changed to a prescribed one. Back when my son was diagnosed with a lactose intolerance he was prescribed o'lac which sorted him out. I was so lucky though he wasn't a crier to the degree of other babies. I only noticed his problem as his nappies were bright yellow, explosive and smelt like vinegar.

You are doing amazing. You will get through this

She does have a dummy but she doesn't really keep it in for very long - unless she's fallen asleep then she'll
Keep it in

Her nappies are like very watery - not exactly water but I can't think of something slightly thicker ... and they really smell and not a poo smell either but I can't think what the smell is

My older daughter wasn't like this so I'm stuck ....

You've all been so lovely and supportive I'm way here having a little cry; I was expecting to be flamed for daring to say I'm not enjoying being a mum currently

Don't be silly, being a Mom is bloody hard. I only have 1 but I bet having another child who is different to your first is a massive shock.

She does seem in discomfort though so persist with getting her checked

Really sorry to hear this, I can't believe you are coping with this on your own. I had a baby who didn't sleep well. He is now 1 and has been pretty good since he was about 8 months old.
By the sounds of the poo and being so unsettled it is possibly a tummy issue. My baby had similar poos (breastfed) and didn't sleep well and at 6 months I finally got a sleep consultant who also happened to be an expert in reflux. By that stage we had just begun solids but we tried cutting dairy out of his diet and mine, also not breast feeding to sleep so he would have time to digest and burp. Has worked wonders.
He now takes cheese, yoghurt etc and a little milk in porridge but I give him oat milk to drink and will slowly add more cows milk. He isn't allergic just tough to digest I think.
Check out Heidis website ..the parent and baby coach. Could be worth booking a phone or at home consultation if you're not getting anywhere with the GP. Will be worth every penny.
Good luck xxx

Ah this is just how my daughter was, and like you I ended up staying indoors as I just couldn't deal with her screaming all the time in public. The main cause for us was temporary lactose intolerance. A move to lactose free milk calmed things down, still never an easy baby but starting sleeping a bit longer (3 hour stints instead of 10 minutes!). I remember thinking how do people sleep when baby sleeps, when they only ever sleep for 10 mins and then they wake up again!)

First thing tomorrow call the GP and insist you are seen for your baby to be assessed with a view to prescribing infant gaviscon and omeprazole for reflux and then also start to cut diary out of your diet. Ask the gp to prescribe dairy free formula. You are doing fantastically well OP