following on from another thread, let's all think up some answers to common small-talk questions that don't involve a defensive urge to explain why we're single parents

[OverMyDeadStuffedTurkey]

You know the ones, questions like

"so are you planning on having any more children?"

"What does your husband/partner do?"

I dread being asked these questions, so let's think of some good answers to them that don't make us feel horribly inadequate or 'pathetic'

'he's an unemployed dope smoking wanker who hits his kids' generally shuts them up!

'Are you planning on having any more?' I get that so much from virtual strangers, always other mums. T'is a bit sad being asked it but easy enough to answer- don't need to give details of reasons. One I still don't know how to answer without sounding pathetic, melodramatic or malicious is 'why did you split up?'

I was talking about this the other day to my friend, after another nasty down right rude comment from a man selling accident cover in town.
She said why don't you say he is dead, 'cos he might as well be!
Then there is no more explaining, Trouble is no-one has asked me since, and i really want them to, cos i know it will shut them up!

OOOO that's a good one niece!

Debra - I just tell the whole, unabridged truth (inc words such as rape, battered, imprisoned in own home) - shocks them in to silence!

I am not a victim - I am a survivor. I can say that stuff so matter-of-fact-ly that they don't know where to put themselves. It is great

LFBAH I'm a survivor too but I don't feel like shocking people- i'm still tryna build some bridges and make friends round here, not scare people off. of course i would tell the whole truth if i did get to know them more, for now i'm just crossing everything that people don't ask me that one. i think i got lied to so many times i tend to think other people's stories aren't worth much 'til proved, and expect others to think likewise. and i still feel like a bit of a fraud because i didn't get a full-on battering.