Kids going away with Dad

[Sooz127]

It's been a while since I've needed any advice. Just kind of been getting on with things.

Ex has booked a holiday for him and the kids, first one since our split. What's the norm re packing for the kids. Kind of begrudge the whole washing, ironing and packing (I know it's for the kids) but at what point does it become his job. Do I prepare for their holiday with him as well as the holiday I am planning for the kids?

Am I being selfish in expecting him to step in and take up some of the work?

Mind is blown as I just don't know what to do for the best. We literally cannot talk to each other, other than by text as his behaviour towards me is still controlling and narcissistic if he doesn't get his own way.

Well you can't afford to send anything as he is not paying for the kids. just send the kids in something you can afford to lose

It's his holiday. He provides the cases and the contents. Just give him plenty of notice.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

But surely with separated parents the kids have clothes at both houses? Surely Mums dont pack overnight bags full of everything a kid needs for them to go and stay with the other parent who should also have in what their DC needs?

Fair enough if the kid has a preferred item/outfit they want to keep with them but otherwise?

I assume you are not a lone parent @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz?

My kids don't have as much as a toothbrush at their dad's house - yes, there are men as petty as that, who expect that EVERYTHING is provided when their dc visit (never mind holiday) because they contribute the minimum CMS payment which obviously covers everything so he shouldn't have to/won't pay for a single thing for the kids when in his 'care'.

Moral high ground op. Pack if you don't think he will, especially things like sun hats and sun cream.

The kids will figure it out eventually, I promise x

It's hard as when we go away for a week+ with my partners 3 kids we now ask that they bring clothes from home packed, we always have a couple of outfit changes, swimwear and nightwear, 2 pairs of shoes towels etc but as anything we buy if not allowed to return home for use we have stopped buying a lot ( and definitely don't have enough to a week or two)

So I can see both sides, I would love to shop more for them but it's such a waste when they are only here EOW and one week night /hols clothes go to waste and things are grown out of before they've had any use ( all 3 are teens so growing like mad)

I’ve been separated for 7 years, I still have to pack a bag for the dc’s for every over night/holiday. I also get told off if anything is missing. I’ve suggested before he keeps spares of the basics like underwear and socks but I’ve been told no and that it’s my responsibility to provide everything

We have absolutely everything for dsc. Dsc arrives in a set of clothes. We wash dry and iron to wear home.
When we go away we supply everything

But my ds when he goes I supply all as his clothes dad refused to buy the clothes ds likes to wear. But he supplies toiletries towels and things.

My kids are joint responsibility. They have clothes at his and clothes at mine. Whether they're at home or at their dad's, they have available socks, pants, and pyjamas.

Apart from that, it's a mix and match thing. If they're going to his or away with him, I'll pack clothes and stuff for them.

I can't guarantee that what I pack is exactly what comes back because he has clothes for them too

More here, because they live here most of the time.

But yeah, just pack the clothes. Ask him to keep undies and pyjamas for them, is my suggestion

Just make sure you make time to have some fun yourself whilst they are away