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Original poster

Annoying things as a single parent

71 replies

Happycat1212 · 25/04/2021 23:54

Does anyone else find things annoying as a single parent! I want to swap rooms with my daughter as she's never liked her bedroom but as a single parent it's going to be extremely difficult moving all my furniture into her room on my own, including my 3 door wardrobe which I doubt I can manage alone Sad just frustrating having no one around to help so probably going to have to leave things as they are.

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Naimee87 · 06/05/2021 15:41

I think also making spontaneous plans would be an amazing luxury to have...i realise not every relationship would have this be easy but its got to happen far more often when there are two people who can decide who'll watch the kids.

Original poster
Happycat1212 · 06/05/2021 19:02

Oh god yes the break thing drives me mad! My kids don’t see their dad at all so they are with me 24/7 I never get a break, yet always hearing people in couples joking about wanting to be a single parents so they can get a break 🙄

OP posts:
singleagain22 · 06/05/2021 19:23

When the children are young it's incredibly hard.

Like when you get home and realise there's no milk and you need to get everyone ready to go back out ......

It gets much easier as the children grow up. One day your daughter will be able to help with many jobs. In the meantime I hope you have some friends who can help. You may find that over time you gravitate to other single woman and make friends.

Manzanilla55 · 11/05/2021 17:29

Now ds is 16 it is so much easier. For example I have two old toppers to throw away and ds can help me take them from the rear of the shed at the bottom of the garden to the front of the house on the pavement for the council to pick up. I no longer have to ask anybody to help.

copernicium · 11/05/2021 17:49

My blood has been boiled regularly during lockdown when married couples working from home in secure office jobs complained to me constantly about how hard life was. When I was a single parent with zero support, self employed so no work meant no income, home schooling two DC.

SusieSusieSoo · 20/05/2021 05:09

I've distanced myself from some "mum" friends because I just couldn't cope with them moaning on about how hard home schooling was last year. It was devastating leaving ds8 by himself for most of the day whilst I worked (both at home but I had meetings and calls all day a lot of the time).

Before covid I had a babysitter plus after school care and my dm to help out but it was still tough (ds has no contact with his dad at all). Now things are opening up I wfh and I'm struggling to get him to his after school activities because I have to finish work, feed him etc whereas before my dm or babysitter did. Dm has massively aged this last year & isn't able to help the same. She needs help too now. We are adapting but it's tough.

For those pp's with little ones it does get easier as they get bigger.

I do really feel like I will never get to the end of my to do list though. It is good to know it's not just me though so thanks for this thread op

Coffeealways · 20/05/2021 15:15

It is so difficult. I wake up, take DC to school, work, cook, work, collect my child to school. Lockdown was tough because it was just DC and me. I postponed a visit to the doctor for a health check up because I am afraid if I need treatment there will be no one to look after dc when I am in the hospital.

Manzanilla55 · 20/05/2021 15:39

Coffee if you need medical care go look into it. Social services would have to help instead.

Manzanilla55 · 20/05/2021 15:44

I find it annoying when people find it preferable to be coupled up than independent like I am. I know somebody whose partner leaves her to go camping on her own every year with the children while he stays home with the dog, looks a complete mess ie v bedraggled and unkempt, plus leaves mess all over the home. In what way he is a great partner I cannot imagine lol. She still thinks I need pity and must need a bloke (no matter how much I have insisted I do not over the years). Strange!

Coffeealways · 20/05/2021 15:58

@Manzanilla55

Coffee if you need medical care go look into it. Social services would have to help instead.
Thank you Manzanilla, booked an appointment.
Tiddleypops · 20/05/2021 16:19

I am glad you have made the appointment @Coffeealways. I hope it becomes a weight off your mind.

The last few posts have massively resonated with me. I feel like I'm on a treadmill that's going too fast. My brain is tired from switching between work/DC/household admin/house and garden jobs.
Trying really hard to ask for help when needed. But options are seriously limited, and it's difficult when even delegating things requires work.

I've been strict this week on logging all the hours I'm working, and will be taking time owed tomorrow morning Smile There's little I can change, but I can do this.

Naimee87 · 21/05/2021 08:19

I can relate to @Coffeealways I was the same during lockdown it was just me and DS and the little dog and everything fell to me to take care of. Home-schooling, shopping work etc. Not ideal to be ill and the stress of everything to be taken care of can itself be a catalyst sometimes. But i actually learned to reach out more to friends most of whom are married or in couples for help. Which is something i had always been to shy to do and it wasn't easy admitting you need 'help' but it turns out it was a really good thing as i'm far more connected with friends/neighbours where we live so i don't feel so much pressure anymore. My family isn't so close either. Sometimes it takes being open with people for them to realise what you are going through and they are more than happy to offer help. Not sure this helps you in anyway but just know you aren't alone! Biscuit

Missillusioned · 21/05/2021 08:30

I know what you mean. I am looking forward to the day when my sons are big enough to move furniture!

See also hanging heavy mirrors. I know how to do it, but I can't lift the bloody thing on my own. (Daughter now has a boyfriend, so that was useful for that one)

Manzanilla55 · 21/05/2021 09:55

Good luck with the medical issue Coffee.

Chucklecheeks01 · 22/05/2021 14:44

Myself and the two kids have covid at the moment. I'm classing myself as lucky as the kids are 10 and 14. This is on the back of lockdown and a brain hemorrhage 4 weeks before the first lockdown. I've recuperated from my hemorrhage whilst homeschooling and working. The first lockdown my ex didn't have the kids for 4 months. My DD refuses to go to her dads and my son only goes every OW. I'm trying to do 10 hours days with 2 drop offs and pick ups and now covid.
I'm miserable and sick of being miserable. I feel so ill but can't just go and get in bed. The kids are ill so need looking after. My life could be a comedy show if it wasn't so sad.

Iquitit · 22/05/2021 14:55

All of these things resonate, but one particular friend liked to tell me that I was my own worst enemy and would never meet a man (assumed that I wanted to anyway!) Only going to work or out places with DD.
She didn't have a job, or children and shared her home with her mum so split everything 50/50 house work wise, and didn't get how I might be mentally and physically too exhausted to think about not sleeping on what little precious time I had to myself, that wasn't spent doing housework!
Oh and "all that money" I apparently got from the government from "single parent allowance"
🙄

anxietyanonymous · 22/05/2021 18:06

Noone ever even making you so much as even a hot drink or a sandwich. And the relentlessness of that. However, it does mean you appreciate a meal at someone elses house or a treat out when it happens.

The best trick someone taught me was to fill a jug with water and set that on the table with glasses. It massively reduced the jumping up and down during the meal as people finished their drinks. As there was more right there. Even eating a meal uninterrupted is a huge thing.

Practical task sharing is one thing but the mental load and huge responsibility and decision making is exhausting.

Am glad that phase has ended.

loneparent12345 · 26/05/2021 21:08

Ditto. I want to move some bedroom furniture and can't thinking of getting handyman in

PumpkinWitch · 26/05/2021 21:31

I am grateful for this thread. I have a 3 year old who doesn’t see his dad and a very demanding full time job. I feel like I am behind with everything.

It’s the everything of it that is hard. You have to do it all yourself. I am permanently shattered.

It is however 1 million times better than being with my ex.

ash677x · 20/07/2021 08:43

My daughter is 7 next week and I've just found out I am pregnant. Does anyone have two kids with a bit of an age gap? Was it easier?

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