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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

20% is that it?!

64 replies

noworlater · 30/10/2007 12:50

After many months (years really) of agonising over whether to leave DH or hang on to a hope of working things out, I have finally come to the conclusion that it isn't going to work. It is sad... but true. I have now accepted that.

So, my dilemma is funding a life without him. We have two young children. We both work full time (and then some). If I leave and take the kids with me (which is of course my only conceivable option), I don't make enough money to support the kids, pay rent, and pay childcare. As I understand he would have to give me 20% of his income. But, 20% of his income would only barely cover 1/2 of childcare, forget food, rent, clothes, school (state school but they do ask for money here and there -- book day, contribute to this, contribute to that, etc.), and activities.

Is this right? Do mums have to pick up the bill no matter how high and the dad's get their responsibility capped at 20% of their gross pay?

If this is so, then I can't afford to leave until both kids are in full time school. I simply couldn't afford the childcare to go to work. This seems so unfair. But, judging from some stories I've seen on here mums seem to get by on unbelievable small amounts of funding from selfish XH/Ps.

OP posts:

empen · 30/10/2007 13:04

i assume you have looked into the other benefits you would be entitled to? inland revenue website lets you put info in and calculates what tax credit (working and child) you could get without making an application which means you could have a look at different scenarios.
I would actually be substantially better off seperated from my partner - financially!!

CarGirl · 30/10/2007 13:09

As a single parent on a lowish income you may be able to claim up to 80% of your childcare costs back through CTC - go have a look at the various entitled to sites.

Original poster

noworlater · 30/10/2007 13:13

I haven't looked at benfits but I won't get any. I'm pretty sure inland revenue regard me as rich. Never mind that I can't pay rent and childcare. Never mind that my 10 year old car is falling apart. Never mind that I couldn't get to work without it. And never mind that I couldn't pay rent or childcare with my job. I don't know what people do. They must give up work and go on benefits, which isn't something I'm considering.

So, sadly, I think I'll probably have to muddle through my unhappy marriage for another three years... Bugger!

OP posts:

Original poster

noworlater · 30/10/2007 13:15

Why can't I contribute %20 of my income to the cost the children and then let DH/XH pick up the rest of the bill. Why is his contribution capped when mine is not??????!!!!

OP posts:

SpooKAYsamuels · 30/10/2007 13:15

You would surely have help with your childcare costs as a single parent, you may also be entitled to housing benefit and council tax reduction. Entitled to is great as cargirl mentions.

Kewcumber · 30/10/2007 13:17

who says his contribution is capped at 20%?

Original poster

noworlater · 30/10/2007 13:17

ok, can you point me to one of these sites?

OP posts:

peskipixie · 30/10/2007 13:18

i dont mean to throw a spanner in the works but is your dh agreeing to you taking the kids full time? if you both work full time it might make more sense to each have them half the time and pay for childcare when you have them.

SpooKAYsamuels · 30/10/2007 13:18

Sorry cross posts there! Is there any way you could reduce your childcare costs?

SpooKAYsamuels · 30/10/2007 13:20

entitled to

Original poster

noworlater · 30/10/2007 13:20

I have heard (but could be worng, please tell me if I am!) that you get up to 15% of his gross pay for one child and 20% for second child. We don't have a house or saving so there isn't anything to get there.

He does have a pension but he had it before we got married. I have a pension too. I assume he keeps his, I keep mine.

OP posts:

SpooKAYsamuels · 30/10/2007 13:22

You may also find you are better off working part time as a single parent rather than full time, but this is something you would have to look into further for your own individual situation.

SpooKAYsamuels · 30/10/2007 13:23

csa calculator

Original poster

noworlater · 30/10/2007 13:28

I don't think DH would want custody. I think he loves them, but would probably be happy with having them every other weekend (which would be okay with me). He often travels for work, and I just don't think half time custody is feasible. Besides, I don't think he'll want to live near their school. He'll probably move further away, closer to his family.

OP posts:

Original poster

noworlater · 30/10/2007 13:30

I'll wait out the three years in a miserable home life before I scale back my work. Hell will freeze over before I give up my career so he can further his.

OP posts:

titchy · 30/10/2007 13:36

Isn't his contribution 20% of net rather than gross? And why do you say the inland revenue would consider you rich? I tyink you can earn up to £60k a year and still be entitled to childcare tax credits. Also don't forget that he may be prepared to increase his contribtion.

Original poster

noworlater · 30/10/2007 13:39

sorry, you are right. I meant net.

Is the £60000 figure for single parents? I thought that cap was for a joint income and the cap for one parent was lower?

OP posts:

titchy · 30/10/2007 13:52

According to Kay's link even if you earn £65k as a single parent you are still entitled to some tax credits, although not much. How much do you earn?

Original poster

noworlater · 30/10/2007 13:53

ohhhhhh....

I can have 170 per week in initial tax credit (whatever that means) and £100 per week in housing benefit. So, £270 per week, which is roughly £1000 per month. And that figure on top of DH's 20% would actully tip me over to just manageable. Oh this is potentially promising.

So, I probably still need to wait about 6 months before I can execute the plan. But, this is promising.... I almost feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

But... who do I talk to about verifying if I punched in the numbers correctly. Would hate to find out I did something wrong and I'm not entitled to this after all.

OP posts:

SpooKAYsamuels · 30/10/2007 13:56

My sister doesn't have internet access so she rang up the tax credits helpline. Apparently they have a duty to tell you what you would be entitled to, she was given details over the phone.

I think I would rather scrape by for a few years in a happy household than live miserably in a unhappy relationship.

SpooKAYsamuels · 30/10/2007 13:57

Your local citizen's advice will be a good help if you can find the time to go in and see somebody.

titchy · 30/10/2007 14:08

Might be worth checking if his 20% is included in your earnings too?

Original poster

noworlater · 30/10/2007 14:15

The form I filled in on entitledto asked me about child maintenance and I put in the 20% figure there. Think that covers it. But, yes I should of course double check.

BTW, am I right that a man's contribution is capped at 20%? Can I tie him into contributing a certain percentage of childcare and/or school fees in the event that they change?

OP posts:

SpooKAYsamuels · 30/10/2007 15:22

I beieve that thwe csa's 20% figure is the minimum he is legally allowed to pay. Anything else he has to voluntarily agree to such as maybe out of school club costs, etc. I would just assume he is going to pay the csa 20% amount if I were you, then anything else is a bonus.

AMAZINWOMAN · 30/10/2007 16:13

I changed my hours in work so I wouldnt have to pay so much childcare. Is this an option

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