Ex taking DS7 to Doctor

[disturbiaaa]

Does anyone know whether my ex DP can take our DS7 to the Doctor's without me agreeing to it? DS lives with me but has regular contact with his Dad. Thanks x

Why not? He's a parent and if the child needs to go he needs to go. What is your objection?

Of course he can, if he has pr he has equal right as you to do so. He has regular contact so unless there is a back story I don't see an issue.

Yes he can, why don't you want him to?

@Pipandmum My ex is insisting that our DS has an eating problem and thinks it's caused by me. DS does not have an eating problem at all, other than he eats very slowly.

DP and I are non contact due to his abusive messages. We go through a family member who informed me earlier today.

DS actually got weighed at a regular checkup last week and they said he was a lovely weight.

It might be a bit of a waste of drs time, but they'll be able to tell your ex that ds is a good weight and it will all be on record. Eating slowly is pretty normal.

Why does he have regular check up? You can still have disordered eating and be a healthy weight.

@Bunnybigears DS was in hospital a couple of years ago with a short illness so he has to have a check up a few times a year. Hopefully being discharged soon. Noting weight related.

Yes is the simple answer. Maybe he is doing it out of spite, but if that's the case. And everything is fine, the doctor will tell him that and he'll have to move on

Of course he can take him but taking him doesn't mean there is something wrong and the doctor will be able to see that. He'll have to take him to the doctors that you have him registered at though because you can't be registered at two doctors surgeries

@COS2102 I'm not sure ex DP even knows where our surgery is, he's never taken DS to any medical appointment, ever.

Eating slowly isn’t an issue. What does he think is wrong? Do you have an eating disorder?

@AnneLovesGilbert No I've never had an eating disorder. Ex basically thinks that DS eats far too slowly, only eats small portions unless it's something sweet and therefore it's a massive problem, something I'm causing and he needs to get DS looked at immediately.

Do you think it might be a good thing if he takes DS to the doctor who tells him there’s nothing wrong? It might get him off your back.

He’ll struggle to get a face to face appointment if you’re in England. I’ve got a toddler who’s had a couple of things since March and I only to see a GP once and that was after a digital appointment and sending pictures they requested via an app.

@AnneLovesGilbert Apparently he has managed to get a face to face appointment which makes me wonder what on Earth he's said to them. GP only needs to look at the notes sent from the hospital to see DS is exactly where he should be. DS seems to have some kind of anxiety around food when he's at his Dad's that he doesn't have at home.

I don't understand how he has managed to get an appointment if he doesn't know where your son is registered. I'd find some way of checking with your surgery that your son hasn't been de-registered and moved to your ex's surgery. As long as the appointment has been made sensibly (ie with your son's actual doctor) then as others have said it is probably for the best that he takes your son and is told by a professional that all is fine

@COS2102 There is a surgery just down the road from my house (the one we are registered at) so I imagine my ex worked it out. There's no reason he can't know where we're registered. I'm just finding it all a little suspicious (but that could be down to stunts my ex has pulled in the past such as telling my DS that he wants him to live with him full time and refusing to return him to me on the odd occasion).

It might be worth keeping a food diary at your house for a few days if anything it will show up the differences between the 2 houses.

Yes i am surprised he has got a face to face appointment. My ds has to see gp advised by consultant and i have just over 2 weeks wait for a phone appointment.

He can take him if he feels there is an issue. If everything is fine I am sure the doctor will tell him this.

If he has Parental Responsibility he can and I'm assuming he does as you accept that he's the Dad.

Quick update, I called the GP and explained that DS does not have an issue with food so I don't agree with him being taken down a route he only down went last year (and they said he was fine). But also said I didn't want to interfere with anything so it was just to get my feelings on record as DS is with me most of the time. GP listened to everything and said I could attend the appointment if I wanted too.

DS no longer wants to go to his Dads after knowing about the appointment. Has said that if he has to go then he wants me to go with him and my ex.

Would you go? I know this will cause no end of problems with my ex, as he is constantly angry at anything I do. It may come across as controlling on my part but 1) I don't think it's fair for my son to have to repeat all these appointments with his Dad that he has done with me and 2) there is always an ulterior motive with my ex - I know he is looking for ways to have DS at his more than he is with me so I am worried that is he going down the 'unfit' mother route (maybe not quite that extreme but....).

Of course I would go. Your DS has asked you to go with him and he is the important one here.

@ApolloandDaphne Even though that will massively set my ex off?