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Original poster

missing xh today - does it get easier/better - tell me it does.

31 replies

munz · 18/09/2007 20:39

went to P&T group and it was quite dire to say the least, (bit basic compared to what we're used to! lol. nice ladies/children thou must say that) but have been feeling tearful today.

is this my fault - did I throw it all away as MIL would have me believe? have been doing so well the last 5 days or so - no crying etc all positive. deciding on college even looking at new furniture for the house etc. when I finally get one. but this isn't waht I want. I don't want to be here, I want to be back at home curled up with H on the sofa. DS seems to be unfaxed by it all really. I miss my mates there as well

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Original poster
munz · 18/09/2007 20:53
Sad
OP posts:
BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 18/09/2007 20:55

Pray tell how your MIL thinks you threw it all away, when he is the one who ended the marriage ??

newlifenewname · 18/09/2007 20:56

Ohhh

I know. I have been through this twice now but eventually you see things for how they were and unless they were perfect you will be glad you moved on.

Wisteria · 18/09/2007 20:58

Doesn't sound fun munz , I have no idea of your situation but can relate to feeling a bit doubtful of decisions made if that is helpful.
I'm seven years down the line and still get the odd moment when I think I might have made a mistake (as it's hard work to go from a unit to being on your own with dcs) but I am now with another dp and life does get easier although I think I will always have the odd doubt.

Tottie32 · 18/09/2007 20:58

it defo gets easier, i thought i would never breathe again when dp left,

if you like reading there is some good books around

How to mend a broken heart in whsmith

stay positive and look to the future not the past

MaryBleedinPoppins · 18/09/2007 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pinkchampagne · 18/09/2007 21:04

Agree with MBP. It feels hard, then a bit easier, then sometimes you have a wobble here & there, but you do adjust.

Sorry you're going through this.

Original poster
munz · 18/09/2007 21:16

lgj - well apparently it's a good/easy life being an army wife and I should be fighting to get it back - yeah it's real easy having your H go away all the time - literally every other bloody week, never knowing when he's going away again/on ex. l,istening to him bitching and moaning about his job, living in crappy hosues which are well below par - never feeling settled, and worried to make too good a mates with anyone cos you're always moving on again real easy that one.

nlw - see that's the thing, I already see it, (esp after having a mamouth shopping spree) I see how downtrodden etc I ahd become - and am quite upset about it - 5 years ago it would never have happened I know i'm so much better off without him but I still miss him. i'm happier alone than living thinking what mood is he in/sometimes thinking about getting to bed earlier etc etc.

tottie - thanks i'll have to look that book up. I have a few old school friends who are being v supportive which is helping. v true you knwo who you're mates are even after not living in town for the last 5 years

so am I pink - I flit between being upset and being angry so v angry esp on DS's behalf. at the mo his fatehr is about a waste of space - althou when I said as much to his mum and his mum told him what i'd said (to be fiar to her at least she's fighting my corner on that one - think it's cos she doesn't want to loose contact with ds thou) he had a right go at me saying he was a good dad and did want to do right by his son.

we split up last friday before last - prior to that he was away the week having fun on a bloody holiday with his mates. he saw DS that fri avo, the following monday for about 4 hours and 2 phone calls - when I asked for him to take fri off he said i'll ask but won't promise doubt he'll even bloody well ask. it's not like I want a day out etc I need to sort IS etc out. when I said about seeing DS on the sat am he said 'i'm going out wiht my mates' FFS.

OP posts:
BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 18/09/2007 21:19

Munz, face it you are an ungrateful wretch.

Aimsmum · 18/09/2007 21:24

Message withdrawn

Original poster
munz · 18/09/2007 21:28

I know I am - and a real fuddy duddy as well. lol. i'm ok really - glad tomorrow's a new day hopefully will resist the urge to email/text him (was hard today wanted to) but i'm not going to. I will not - kepe poking me and I won't! lol.

this is his doing. he's the bastard! sad thing is thou, if he wanted to fix things he prob could he just can't be arsed to put in the effort

have my new clothes to go home with so will wear my best push up bra and show him what he's missing! lol. (mum talked me into some rather riskeey tops! lol) shame I can't get my hair done before thurs!

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Original poster
munz · 18/09/2007 21:31

and he's put me on limited profile on facebook - has changed his status - bet is now says single as he's also added a pic which I can't view - where's the fairness - he's pissing it up the wall, and chatting to various women/shagging about prob (was tlaking to women all thru our marriage incl porn lines/chat rooms etc) and I get to stay at home looking after our son while he passes the buck and has a jolly time of it .

stamps foot and whails i'ts not fair!

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newlifenewname · 18/09/2007 21:36

oh I have to slightly laugh at this because I made similar discovery. My xdp has removed himself from my friends list and has added 'new girl' whose profile I can't see

Original poster
munz · 18/09/2007 21:46

v I can see he has all diff girls now added, and is huggu=ing etc with them. ffs the bed is hardly cold iycwim.

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newlifenewname · 18/09/2007 21:47

Yep, mine sent hugggz too. Pathetic. He has 'in a relationship' on his profile and 'looking for random play'

alittleone2 · 18/09/2007 22:02

Message withdrawn

Original poster
munz · 19/09/2007 08:06

lol. you know I think it is because he's a big kid - hes' as much as admitted that to me already!

I know I shouldn't worry bout what he's doing. it jsut gets me so mad - that he's out etc and i'm the one left at home raising his son (which of course I will/love etc but that's not the point)

atm I feel like my life is worthy of the jeremy kyle show and having everyone shouting over each other on national telly!

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muma3 · 19/09/2007 12:16

oh munz i am going through the same tears and doubts and anger , i hope i can get to the stage that your at and realise i will survive. like you said my exp could sort this all out with a few tiny words and alot of effort but he just wont . i keep thinking what am i doing should i of just put up with it , but i know i had been and it just got too much. i just wish i could get my life together the way he is finding it so easy. i miss him so bad and would love to back down and say "fine treat me as you like just aslong as i have you around " but i cant do it any more i just was so miserable

allgonebellyup · 19/09/2007 12:20

mumnz and mama3 (just posted on your thread) i am in the same boat too and miserable as sin.
youre not alone.
i miss my dh like crazy, but now all he cares about is his new baby thats on the way with his new gf.

Original poster
munz · 19/09/2007 13:25

ag - how long ahve you been seperated? that's the thing i'm dreading the most that my DS will ahve another mummy.

mumma - sorry you're going thru this as well - I see I'm better off alone than in a relationship which was stale at best - but on the otherhand it was also good. but when your partner says they no longer love you ther'es not a right lot you can do. even thou tbh i'm not 100% sure he knows what he wants/is doing. it's almost like he keeps saying it and hoping one day he'll believe it as it's easier.

go back would be the easy option for me. forwards is the scarey way.

OP posts:
Tottie32 · 19/09/2007 13:28

you will be they only mum

this is hat i tell mt dd after her dad remarried last week to the other women, and told dd he could call his wife mum

allgonebellyup · 19/09/2007 14:46

ive been separated 5 months, and he has been seeing her for 3 months!
yes i hate hearing my dc talk about how nice and wonderful she is, plus to hear from dh how she "feels sorry" for me.

muma3 · 19/09/2007 15:25

tbh my and dp havent been "together for a while" thats excatly it, going forward is the easier option for me and the kids but im doubtful its the right one, doesnt look like it is an option either . i cant even think about him getting with anyone else. i think i would be suicidal. i think its easier to live with the thought of him changing his mind and seeing the hurt he has caused and charging back on his white staliion to whip me off my feet. i just cant deal with rejection

Original poster
munz · 19/09/2007 20:56

ag - why does she feel sorry for you - that's what i'm dreading XH having a new GF 2 months after 8 years of being together/5 of those married. althou I know from what he's said when DB split up form his long term GDF earlier this year he said he'd take 6 months just to 'shag about'

tonight he's apparently drinking alone indoors.

oh mumma - I so feel your pain that's exactly how I feel now. but a tthe end of the day I have to face the reality of things now - it is just DS and I and we are alone. so I ahve to keep strong and move on/make the best for his sake - after all he didn't ask for his dad to apparently fall out of love with me/be a nob! lol.

tottie serioiusly - I think i'd talk to your X, H had better NEVER say that to DS at any time - and if he does I would hope that DS would say the same as I said to MIL when she said I could call her mum - no offense but I already ahve a mum. (wanted to add and she's a better mum that you but resisted! lol) ah kidding in her own way i'm sure she's lovely - if I was H

OP posts:
Tottie32 · 19/09/2007 21:01

i will be talking to him at some point, there is no way she will be called mum....ever

trouble is what dd does here and there are 2 different things

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