Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

How do you manage this as a single parent?

60 replies

UsefulSilver · 13/02/2020 21:04

So viewing this as a single parent to be, how do you deal with changing nappies 24/7 for the first couple of weeks or so. Looking in books is says that it's approximately every 2 hours in a 24 hour period, and throughout the night. So how do you manage to get sleep if it's just you whilst still doing nappy changes every 2 hours or so?

Is it a case with absorbent nappies that it can be missed here and there without it becoming a problem?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Fleetheart · 13/02/2020 21:05

I don’t think you need to do it very two hours, single parent or not!

InkogKneeToe · 13/02/2020 21:06

For a newborn? We just changed before each feed (formula fed so every 2-4 hours initially)

Elephantonascooter · 13/02/2020 21:06

Nappies are the least of your worries. In the first few weeks, change at every feed. As a single parent I guess you litterally sleep when baby sleeps. Day and night arnt a thing to newborns

MsChatterbox · 13/02/2020 21:09

I wasn't a single parent but did all the care round the clock. I did after every feed which was every 2-3 hours. You just cope. You don't cope well. You get through it until it gets better!

UsefulSilver · 13/02/2020 21:10

Oh, how often would you say?

OP posts:
KittenVsBox · 13/02/2020 21:10

Change each feed. If baby is asleep, you sleep, and nappy doesn't need changing.
You are likely to be feeding approximately that often with a newborn anyway.

ffswhatnext · 13/02/2020 21:11

You do realise that the baby will wake up every couple of hours for food? You change the nappy then.

UsefulSilver · 13/02/2020 21:14

So you have to feed that frequently too, 2 - 3 hours. Makes sense doing it all at the same time but guessing feeds can't be missed for the health of the baby?

OP posts:
combatbarbie · 13/02/2020 21:15

I always just changed the nappy after a feed..... Unless there was an explosion.

endofacentury · 13/02/2020 21:17

The baby will cry until you feed it, you can't miss a feed!

UsefulSilver · 13/02/2020 21:19

Endofacentury, what if you are sleep deprived and so unintentionally sleep through hours of the baby crying for a feed?

OP posts:
Fleetheart · 13/02/2020 21:19

Like everyone says, babies let you know when they need to be fed. You have to be there for them. But as a mum it is generally you doing it; you might need some help to look after you at this time. Have you anyone around who can do this?

PawPatrolMakesMeDrink · 13/02/2020 21:21

You won’t sleep through a cry for a feed. Your brain changes so you hear it.

GreyishDays · 13/02/2020 21:21

To begin with, it might just be awake a lot in the night too. Newborns often have day and night reversed.
Then as it gets older there will be random awake with wind/teething/who knows.
Nappies are really the least of your worries.

stophuggingme · 13/02/2020 21:22

@UsefulSilver
You won’t sleep through the cries of a hungry newborn unless you are hammered and wearing earplugs
Guessing you won’t be either of those

GreyishDays · 13/02/2020 21:23

You know it’s meant to be in the same room as you till six months? You won’t sleep through a baby crying in the same room as you.

midwestspring · 13/02/2020 21:23

You can't sleep through newborn crying, even if you are so tired you cry yourself.

Just expect the first 4 months to be brutal, if they aren't it is a bonus.

Lipperfromchipper · 13/02/2020 21:26

Is this some sort of a wind up OP? how do you NOT know that a baby is fed usually every 2-4 hours (depending on baby of course) and no you won’t sleep through a baby screaming for a feed. Confused

RubaiyatOfAnyone · 13/02/2020 21:27

I’m not a single parent but as DH’s job is pretty full on, i do the majority of the care for my now-12-week-old DD2, including all the nights.

As pp, you change them when you feed, prob every 2 hrs for the first week or two, then naturally spacing out to 3hrs if you’re lucky. Some people don’t change them overnight unless they poo, but this depends on how sensitive your baby’s skin is (some baby’s get awful sore nappy rash, others are hardly ever affected.)

Newborns have a natural sleep cycle of 30-45 mins, so the chances are you’ll learn to sleep in those chunks to begin with for the “fourth trimester”, so sleep whenever your baby sleeps. This can be particularly bad during the “fourth month sleep regression”, although a minority of babies don’t seem to suffer from this. It generally them improves, and by 6 months many are getting longer stretches of sleep with only 1 or 2 wake ups. The hard part is often how long they take to feed when you are practically delirious with tiredness, and the fact that putting them down after feeding without waking them requires the hands of a safe cracker.

I’m sorry you’re doing it as a single parent, that is very hard, but you’ll find a way to get through it and you’ll be so proud of yourself when you can look back on that first year and your lovely child and say “i did that”.

megletthesecond · 13/02/2020 21:28

You won't sleep through a newborn crying. If it's your first you can be very lazy until you get your bearings. TBH I didn't get tired with my second until she was over a month old as I pretty much stayed in pj's all the time.

According to my neighbours I slept through a 8 month old crying. But I was wretchedly tired by then and she was pretty robust.

SoloMummy · 13/02/2020 21:28

Your baby will probably have a pattern to nappy changes eventually. Mine always needed after a feed.

As a lone parent, you'll learn to be relaxed about things so if one morning baby is sleeping longer you sleep. Pristine homes may fall to the side for a bit but you'll get into a rhythm.
Are you planning to ebf?

GreyishDays · 13/02/2020 21:28

If you’ve managed to read that nappies need changing through the night, maybe just finish reading the rest of the book? Smile

smeerf · 13/02/2020 21:29

I had a big baby with a bit of jaundice, he liked to sleep as a newborn but I was told by the midwife to feed him at least every 3 hours for the first few weeks (or was it every 4 hours? It's such a blur) Even if he's asleep! So I used to set an alarm and wake myself up, then wake him up for a feed. There wasn't much DP could do except make me cups of tea, make me food and chuck some laundry on.

UsefulSilver · 13/02/2020 21:30

Ok, so I think I got you all. So you basically sleep 2-3 hours blocks till you're awoken, feed, change and continue doing that throughout the 24 hours each and every day and night till the pattern changes.

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 13/02/2020 21:32

Yep 👍.
And even though it will drive you potty it will change gradually. Just be kind to yourself while you're in the thick of it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread