How do you manage this as a single parent?

[UsefulSilver]

So viewing this as a single parent to be, how do you deal with changing nappies 24/7 for the first couple of weeks or so. Looking in books is says that it's approximately every 2 hours in a 24 hour period, and throughout the night. So how do you manage to get sleep if it's just you whilst still doing nappy changes every 2 hours or so?

Is it a case with absorbent nappies that it can be missed here and there without it becoming a problem?

Oh, and as pp, your hormones will wire you into your child’s cry like it’s beamed directly into your skull. You can’t not hear it, you can’t ignore it, you have to respond to it, and even years later in a crowded soft play full of screaming urchins, you will hear your child if it starts crying

Smerf, I see how that might be better to set an alarm to wake yourself, baby and then you could be more sure not to worry about missing it and avoid waking to a lot of crying.

Yep exactly that Op.
I met up with my friends when baby was a few months old and worked out that the longest stretch of sleep I'd had in 11 weeks was three hours I'm not a single parent but was breast feeding

No.
Basically, you pray that the baby will sleep for a couple of hours. And in the meantime it's an endless process of feeding, winding, changing nappies as needed. A bit of sleep.

Single mum here of now 6 year old dc. Its tough but as others say, don't fret too much. Change before you feed, have baby with you. Nature does the rest, you won't sleep through crying. Make sure you eat well and get some fresh air/exercise and it will all feel more manageable. Consult the health visitor or midwife. Go to baby groups, there can be very supportive people there.

Most babies will wake when they need and you don’t need to wake them up. You’ll want them to sleep as long as they can.

Sign up now for the baby classes.

Is this a joke?

And when they finally sleep, you do a quiet happy dance, climb into bed and whaaaa whaaaaa whaaaaaa.

And those rare times they finally do sleep, you sleep and leave them alone. They reallllllyyyyyy hate getting woke up.

I wouldn't be using alarms and waking them.
Nappies are made to last all night if needed. Let the baby tell you when it's hungry, change every other feed if you must but waking babies by changing every time isn't really needed.

You won't sleep through your baby crying.

Once you have children you develop acute spidey senses. I used to find that I woke up just before my babies cried. I think in my sleep state, I recognised the snuffling and sucking noises they made before they woke properly and it made me wake up. And I slept with ear plugs in! You'll be fine. Knackered, but fine. Honest.

Oh christ. Do not set an alarm unless your baby needs to be fed on a schedule for a medical reason. Sleep when baby sleeps. Wake up when they cry. Feed. Wind. change nappy if it needs it. Go back to sleep. become my bff so I can come and cuddle baby while you sleep a bit more

It’s totally fine. Bloody hell ive had 4 and been alone each time. It’s not something to worry about. Takes 2 mins!

If you’re ebf then your boobs will let you know when it’s time for a feed, certainly if you and baby both sleep for much longer than usual.. . they engorge and you can feel the pressure, ow!

Congratulations!

I only changed at night if they pooed (which they occasionally did as newborns). I reckon being a single parent meant I truly did ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ with my first, and he was a horrifically wakeful baby but it was very manageable for that reason - I’d just take myself off to bed with him at like 8pm, feed on and off through the night, get up at 8am, have breakfast and then sit on the sofa watching TV while he napped on my lap... very hard days and nights in some ways but also really blissful.

Are you pregnant OP? Have you signed up for any nct (or whatever) classes?

You'll get used to it. You sleep when baby sleeps. That stage really doesn't last long. Just be kind to yourself and don't burn yourself out by worrying about unnecessary things. Just concentrate on you and baby and you'll manage

To be honest, you don’t sleep in 2-3 hr chunks to start with, because babies can take an hour to feed, then faff for a bit refusing to be put down without screaming, then finally drift off for 45 mins, of which you get 30 because you have to actually get to sleep after that, and then it’s time to feed them again. It is fairly hellish but after a few weeks it starts to space out.

My dd2 lost too much of her birth weight after birth and had to have scheduled 2 hr feeds for a bit where i set an alarm and woke her (often by having strip her down then redress her because newborns can be sleepy) but that is very unusual, and as long as they regain birth weight and put on weight as they should (you get them weighed regularly in the early weeks) you don’t wake a sleeping baby - they wake you.

Ok, thanks for all the replies, it comes as a great relief to me to get a better idea of how it all goes down. It kind of makes more sense from you guys than it does in the books, many thanks :)

Are you going to formula feed? There's a rough guide on the side of the tub of milk powder that tells you how much they should be having and how often (obviously you can change it if they need more etc) that's what I followed and adapted if I needed to as the baby my got older. They need smaller amounts more often when they are little as their stomachs are only small, so they will probably wake every 2-3 hours to feed as others have said. As they get older they can have more so can go longer in between feeds. It's up to you whether you change them before/ after a feed, sometimes it's worth waiting until after as they might have a poo after their milk lol. The baby should sleep a lot during the day in the first few weeks so make sure you rest/ eat/ shower when you can, as you need to look after yourself too.

Are you under midwife care? Your midwife should be talking you through what to expect if it's your first. All babies are different but don't rely on being able to sleep 3 hours at a time, especially if breastfeeding. If you don't have the baby's dad or a partner to support I would suggest seeking family support or a close friend in those first few weeks until you get your bearings. It can be difficult to find time to look after yourself when you're looking after a newborn (often they won't want to be put down for more than a few minutes at a time, breast feeding can mean hours of having them constantly on and off the boob, you'll be tired and the last thing on your mind will be laundry etc for both you and the baby)
Congrats :)

Dd is 9 weeks and goes from 11 til 7 in one nappy, no leaks or rash.

Sometimes I would have to change the nappy before and after a feed.
Could sometimes go with missing a change.
Nappy rash also seemed to do it's own thing as well.

I'd say maybe 50% of the mums in my ante natal group woke the baby to feed in the first week or so. A couple of us had jaundice (and the way to treat that initially is feed feed feed to flush it out), I had a 9lb15 baby so he needed a lot of calories to make sure he didn't lose too much weight. Me and two others had tongue tie so were struggling with breastfeeding at first and the waking made sure that the babies were getting as much milk as possible while we sorted this out - luckily we have great breastfeeding "cafes"/support groups in our area. And at least one other had the opposite problem and had to make sure their baby was feeding regularly enough as they had LOW birthweight.

I'm not trying to scare you, it's only for the first couple of weeks but your midwife might recommend you wake the baby to feed. It's not so bad, and when your baby is gaining weight and you've got breastfeeding cracked, you can relax a bit. If you're lucky enough to not have to, then great!

It’s really not the nappy changes that are the issue it’s the 24/7 feeding.

You will need to sleep when the baby sleeps which will be day/ night whenever you get the chance.