dh just told me his girlfriend of last four months is pregnant

[almostmidnight]

Found out today other woman is supposedly pregnant. He sent me a scan picture by phone. Told him if he wants to prove it he will have to send me a copy showing his or her names on it or a dna test result. They have only been together three months and he only left two months ago. Kn*b. I have told him there is nothing more he can do to hurt me so if he tries anything the only people he will hurt now are his two dd's.

Have also told him that he has made my decision easier. She is now never to have anything to do with my children. He keeps both families completely separate. His family want nothing to do with her either. Am I within my rights to stop her from seeing my two dd's. I will never have anything to do with their child so why should she have the right to my children.

Thing is as you probably know, I had sex with him last week and gave him a bl*w job yesterday. I can't believe he would do this to her even when knowing she is expecting. He has threatened me not to do anything to hurt his new relationship or he will walk away although I am very tempted. Why are men such pigs.

My MIl has also said to me she wants nothing to do with the OW baby at all - makes me pleased she is standing up for me (which is more than H ever does)....but also so sad for al...and so sad for all LO involved she is a wonderful nanny to my DD ....and soooooo angry for OW that she ever thought this would have a good ending for any DC involved she is SO selfish it is unbelievable she did this on prurpose to get what she wanted with not a thought for the long term effects on my DD or her baby - I never thought I could hate or have so little respect for another woman

I do feel for any woman who's ex has moved on and jumped straight into another relationship, im just glad that mine lives in another town so I dont know what he is up too from one year to the next

Slightly off topic here and I will say it and im sure there are some members who feel the same but are afraid to say it, Im disgusted that a woman would say that she wont have anything to do with her grandchild because of the circumstances that he/she was conceived, this is an innocent child that is going to be denied one set of grandparents because of some mentalist attitude, cause another child comes along it doesnt mean the first set of children are going to be forgotten or lose out, should a child have to be rejected by a grandparent cause it dared to be conceived 1 minute, 1 day, 1 month or 1 year into a new relationship I would lost respect for anyone grandparent who came out with claptrap, its a baby ffs, their own blood, no wonder their is so many fucked up family feuds

Anyways, carry on

Sorry bit harsh you don't know my MIL my family or the quite nasty circs of H and frankly quite demented OW - sometimes choices have to be made and sometimes they are hard not being quite so judgmental helps...FWIW I had hoped that one day we could all be adult mature in this and do whats best for all DC involved ...unfortunately the OW is the self centred demented loon in this who really only cares about herself who has made this situation a sbad as it is!

Blimey I would tell her
Next time he comes round for a shag send her a text saying "he is shagging me now", then she will call him and hear you in the background!

macdoodle didnt mean to come across harsh but what you wrote came across as harsh on a unborn baby that would be missing out on a set of grandparents, hopefully it all works out ok, dont mean to upset you

I am not sure what the family are going to do about seeing this new baby. It is down to them in the end to make their decision whether they want to see it. I can't make choices for them, only myself.

Husband was round today to watch the girls and I have to say his attitude still stinks the way he talks to me. He seems to think he can have it all his own way. I still think she got pregnant on purpose. Suppose I will never know but sewed the seed of doubt in husband's mind for him. From what I can tell she must have got pregnant just before husband came back to me to give it another go.

He claims this relationship is going to be different, that he can talk to her, but from what has happened he has proved already that he is capable of lying to her otherwise he would have told her he had sex with me. When I ask him if he is going to tell her and why he did it he says nothing.

Unfortunately don't have her mobile number, only an address, but I think a letter is better anyway, the words are there to read over and over again what a w*nk stain her and their daughter has got involved with.

Tinkerbel didn't think my message was harsh to OW baby (now about a month old) actually feel sorriest for that LO - missing out on a real father, a whole family and siblings...also a loving relationship between its parents and having a selfish lunatic for a mother is not going to help - what is she going to tell it about how it was conceived " I cared so much about you I tried to trap your father into leavinghis family to get what I want" or make out its father is a pile of shite which I guess he his but I would NEVER ruin my DC relationship with him no matter how much satisfaction it would give me...TBH unless you are in this impossible situation it really is impossible to understand - my head knows this child is blameless...the hurt emotional wife and mother really doesn't want it anywhere near me or my DC and somedays I hope that when it is crying for its dady maybe then the OW will finally realise what she did and feel the hurt I had unable to protect my DD Not rational or kind but that is how I feel not all the time but when my precious bright DD still sobs her heart out wanting her dad to come home and blaming me because "I won't let him".....what else am I supposed to feel

Hi Macdoodle you seem to have gone through what I am going through at the moment. Wish we could chat more.

I think I feel so mad and angry at the moment because the hurt is still so raw. People say it will get easier in time but right now it doesn't feel like that. The things I would love to do to him for what feels like his ruining my life, my hopes, my dreams, my future, they have all gone for now, the home we were going to build together when he left the army. People need to try to understand that. I was with my husband for 16 years which is nearly half my life time. No wonder myself and his family have become so close. He says they have taken my side but they haven't. They still love and care about him. They just don't understand how he could hurt me so much and our two beautiful little girls.

Sorry got to stop now, the tears are coming

Oh almostmidnight your story could be mine - if I am honest it is still very hard and over a year since I found out about OW and as said her baby is now about a month old....but it is easier than it was....but some days I just don't know how to carry on I dread having to tell my DD about this baby (I think it will break her little heart..but H in typical selfish way thinks it will be fine)...all I can see some days is a lifetime of xmas's borthdays and fathers days and never being free of it
Feel free to CAT me not keen on putting any RL contacts/identifiers on here don't want to be identified if poss ...

macdoogle I do understand, my daughter has missed out on one half of her family because of my ex's bitter ex who couldnt get her head round the fact they we got together 6 months after they split up and we ended up having a relationship and my daughter came along, she cause us nothing but trouble and we had to suffer her shouting abuse down the phone at my ex cause he dared to bring her son (my daughter's half brother) round to my house when he was 11 to see us, this was 3 years into our relationship, I also had to put up with her running back to my ex's mother saying stuff about us and how she felt that her son would miss out even though my ex had him over to stay all weekend every weekend. I do understand your side, but I also have experience from the other side, there's always children in the middle that are innoncent and deserve to know all their family.

Hi Tinkerbel5. Don't be too hard on us. It is great to get opinions from everyone. Isn't that what this web site is all about. Every little bit of advice and information gives me hope about my future.

I personally am just hurting so much at the moment it is hard to think. You think you know someone and then they take everything away from you. God, he's even trying to take my children saying if you can't afford to look after them give them to me. I keep telling him there is no way I would ever give my girls up and what court would favour money over a full time mum anyway. He said he would give up his job to take care of them but as I pointed out how is he going to make money to care for both his families.

As long as he is fair to me and the girls in the future I don't think I would tell the other woman. I know myself now that she has lied to him by getting herself pregnant and he has in a way lied to her by sleeping with me when knowing his new girlfriend was pregnant. Not a good start to a supposed relationship where he says he can tell her and talk to her about anything. I take comfort for myself from that knowledge. All I want from him now is to regain my trust and respect by being open and honest with me.

Anyway, on a brighter note I have just been to see a flat for myself and the girls. It is much smaller than I am used to and up a flight of stairs and has no garden but on the plus side it looks right out on to the harbour and the sea and right next door is the park and a 15 minute walk away is granny's house. What more could two little girls want in life!?!?! I just hope they will hang on to it until the end of September for me if I decide to go for it. What do you all think??????

almostmidnight I do feel for you your ex sounds a right pig, why do some men think that all it takes is to jack their job in to be able to raise children that flat sounds lovely and hope you get it, maybe talk to them and ask if there has been any other viewings on it, you could offer them a months rent in advance might swing it for you.