following on from ex dh asking me to do that favour for him, is there no end to his stupidity, I feel like running to the other end of the country sometimes

[pirategirl]

Just having a rant, just feeling fuckin sorry for myself. I hate this up and down I get. its so much easier when we don't have to communicate.

He just returned dd5 from a weekend at his, and asked me if i could take her halfway next friday to drop her off, as he is working.
He wanted me to drop her off at his friends, these friends were 'our' friends until he left me, and they have never bothered with me since.
I was quite close to the woman, even helped her prepare for her wedding, when she had noone esle to ask. I even painted them a lovely abstract picture as a gift.

So, these firends are going camping with hi and his gf, and my dd, and so he thought it would be ok to ask me.

I just looked a the floor and said, no, I am not doing that.

he had the insensitivity to say 'but why'???

i said, no again. Didnt get into the reasons, just no point. Why oh why doe she think its ok, that everythings is ok, when all he has done is be an ass over everything.

For exmple, on friday he texted me quite happily actually crackign ajoke about picking her up, and I thought oh good he is in a good mood.

i was 1omins late bringing her home cos of bad holiday traffic, and he was wiaitng there in the carpark, with his gf, her face was like a slapped arse, and he never even spoke to me, barley said hi to his daughter, and followed us into the house saying 'come on (dd) hurry up...'

I think maybe his gf must have got in a mood. yet he has let me down with timing, pick up, not showing up, god he has let my dd down time and time again.

I know this is the same old post fromme, but i seriously question myslef at times like this, but I really dont want to do him any favours. Itsbecause i have just passed my driving test, and he has asked me 3 times now about dropping her off. Tought shit, make a f ing effort you loser.

I feel like i am living in a neverending nightmare of ups and downs. Always on edge, and always feeling like I am nobody.

So he rang yesterday to speak to dd, and i was driving (stuck in a traffic jam) and started to be all helpful, like where are you, what turning etc....

I said i cant speak now i am driving, and dd doesnt wantto say hi.

why is he mental?

Ok so he has rung today, and dd just wanted me to tell him about the empty space in her heart etc..

I just said, she is upset and doesnt want to speak onthe phone, but I know she wants to see you.-nothing.

I said, she is really down, he says 'i hope she feels better soon', like she has an illness. So cold.

'What did he say mummy', i just said, he said helo. 'Did he sorry mummy', erm I said no darling he didnt.

I hated saying that to her, but i was at a loss for what to say. Do i bother making soemthing up? In the end, i just said, i'm sure daddy will see you when he can.

If only he knew, or cared abuot the day we havehad, she cried her way round the supermarket, and told a mum, of a classmate, all about how her daddy has let her down, how embarrassing. Well i wasnt mortified, i was just uncomfortable and f ing angry.

i need a drink. !