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Cafcass Section 7 report meeting tomorrow

43 replies

Hullabalooo · 27/05/2019 22:00

Just that. I'm so stressed about the two hour long meeting with them tomorrow and that they'll increase access to EA ex and dc despite years of hell given that he's intent on winning and charm personified.

Any tips or messages of support gratefully received! X

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NooNooMummy · 28/05/2019 08:50

Good luck!

I'm in the process of making a complaint against CAFCASS so have not had a good experience.

My advice? Keep calm, be yourself and keep note of everything that CAFCASS say and promise. Also, provide them with documentary evidence (after the meeting if necessary) to evidence any concerns that you have.

If ex is going to use a charm offensive, there is nothing that you can do about that but you CAN provide CAFCASS with evidence that he's actually a lying, untrustworthy, emotionally abusive tw*t. (In my experience, CAFCASS will seemingly ignore such facts you place in front of them but they're not supposed to, hence the advice I've received that I have to raise a complaint...)

Anyway, the most reassuring advice I received was :- whatever happens, if it results in an order that you think is not in your child's best interests (e.g. because they have to spend more time with an arsehole who doesn't actually care about them or because it gives him more opportunities to be abusive to you - which is not in your child's interest either, you can appeal against the court's order or apply for it to be varied. And if CAFCASS make recommendations based on disputed facts (ie if they accept ex's lies instead of checking actual facts presented to them by you), they can be challenged on this.

But please don't go in there assuming the worst just because of my experience - you might get lucky and have a decent CAFCASS person who sees through your ex. And, if you don't, there are things that you can do to challenge their incompetence.

Good luck!

Hullabalooo · 28/05/2019 09:18

Thank you. Sorry you've not had a great experience.

I'm leaving in an hour and so unbelievably stressed about it all

OP posts:
Hullabalooo · 28/05/2019 11:45

She hadn't seen the copy of the C1A form allegations of domestic abuse and it's not on their system so she's adjourned for ten minutes to read that. Arrgghh!

OP posts:
bebebutton · 28/05/2019 11:56

I had a great CAFCASS guy so you might get lucky!

Good luck

Hullabalooo · 28/05/2019 15:54

They hadn't seen the copy of the C1A form with allegations of domestic abuse and it's not on their system so they adjourned for ten minutes to read that. I was there for three hours!

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laney15 · 28/05/2019 16:26

How did it all go? I have my telephone call in the morning and first court date next week
Ive not been sleeping im so worried x

Hullabalooo · 28/05/2019 19:33

Well I got through most things on my list but she had scheduled ex in for just after mine and I wanted to avoid him so we'll follow up with a phone call it seems. She also did the coercive control rating system with me.. definitely smashed that one.

I don't know. Will see report in two weeks.

Was in there for nearly 3 hours.

Just exhausted!

Dc frazzled too.

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Hullabalooo · 28/05/2019 19:34

@laney15 good luck! I really prepared for my cafcass telephone meeting and had notes for me typed out so I could speak easily and refer to them.

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laney15 · 28/05/2019 19:50

Yep i have it written down, ive had to change my name on here because he found me somehow and questioned my friend about things id said! I think he hacked my emails because i was locked out of them for a month too 🙄 thats how he knew i was posting because i dont think he could find me out of millions on here as my name was nothing he would know x

IndieTara · 28/05/2019 22:09

Bad experiences with Cafcass unfortunately seem really common.
My own was not a good one either

MrsWilkinsonAthome · 28/05/2019 22:18

I hope it goes well. I am in a different country and we have a similar system and they felt sorry for my abusive ex who charmed them and played the victim.

So my lawyer when we got to court pushed his buttons and ex lost his temper in style. The judge stood up and shouted at him

Guess who won? Clue it was not him :)

laney15 · 29/05/2019 14:04

Phone call went really well, i kept calm and said what was needed. Im.glad i actually have all.the evidence in texts as to what has gone on so there cant be any lying 😊

Hullabalooo · 29/05/2019 17:15

That's good news!

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laney15 · 29/05/2019 19:39

Yep lets hope we both get whats needed for our kids 😊

laney15 · 07/06/2019 22:51

Just an update court was thursday went really well , cafcass took everything into consideration and in the end he got less time and no overnights till our son is older 😊 weight off my mind. Hope yours goes well too xx

Starlight456 · 08/06/2019 13:13

Glad you had a good experience. Mine was really positive with CAFCASS but I had lots of evidence my ex was a risk to my ds

Hullabalooo · 08/06/2019 18:00

My meeting with Cafcass officer was cut short as she scheduled ex in for right after my appointment and I didn't want to see him. So she's said we can speak this coming week before report delivery deadline.

Now that she's met EA ex and having spoken to her briefly since to arrange next wks call I get the feeling that he's worked his evil charm on her. Some things she said have really made me worry.

What can I say in this upcoming short conversation to help my case?

Really don't want increased time for dc with this man as it's all part of his continued control and it's not about children.

Unbelievably stressed about it all and have come down with a virus as a result.

OP posts:
Hullabalooo · 09/06/2019 09:27

Does anyone have any tips?

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Hullabalooo · 09/06/2019 09:32

Any tips?

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laney15 · 09/06/2019 13:01

All i can suggest is be honest explain your worries, say you have evidence explaine how kids feel or how it effects them. Focus on the kids, that what i did. But they took alot of the domestic violence id said about into consideration, he wanted more days overnight stays and longer times, he came out with slow and steady to get used to him with my dad as my son is used to him eventually getting 10-4 2 days a week and thats it. I was really happy with how CAFCASS helped me and kept me informed of all the plans made even changing what we agreed to help my son more. So just keep to the truth and keep saying about the kids and their best interests as well as keeping you safe xxx

Starlight456 · 09/06/2019 14:41

My advice is to make it about the children . What is best for the children.

It is about control while absolutely might be accurate is in some ways irrelevant it has to be about why it is not good for the children .

NeverTwerkNaked · 09/06/2019 14:46

I wish I could advised. My ex in true narcissistic style has totally charmed cafcass so I am having to make my peace with the fact I can't keep my son safe. It hurts like hell that no one will listen

Hullabalooo · 09/06/2019 17:44

Thanks. I'm going to write some notes to use tomorrow for an aide for me. Report due on Tuesday and am so scared.

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toatsconfused · 12/06/2019 12:38

@Hullabalooo how did it go?

NeverTwerkNaked · 12/06/2019 14:58

Yes, I have been wondering about you too hullabaloo Flowers

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