Cafcass telephone in

[Mami16]

Hi

Has anyone on here had a telephone interview with cafcass? Could you please give me advice/ your experience.

Thanks

They don't care much about children

@Smotheroffive
Interesting you should think that, I agree. When I was interviewed by a Cafcass rep I explained that sometimes the verbal and emotional abuse was so relentless that I had to leave the house and go for a walk or something to protect my rapidly deteriorating mental health.

After my ex was interviewed, the report said something along the lines of "Mrs X will often leave the family home for her own gain, leaving Mr X with the children".

Appalled was not the word.

That report should be written over, as manipulated and not to be trusted!

That's fucking shocking,and so blaming.

Can you get that report challenged? I know its been done now, but considering they have given him.access and so shat all over what they've blamed you for they done the same and worse!

@Smotheroffive Strangely enough they filed it the very day before we went to court.

He also accused my wonderful ex boyfriend of hitting me in same report. My ex boyfriend and I were best friends for over ten years but once I was married I wasn't allowed to see him again. He has never met my children because ex husband threatened he would accuse him of things. To this day, although still in contact, I have never told my ex boyfriend whst ex husband said about him, it's too distressing.

When I introduced my now fiance to my boys my ex husband told them to "Watch out because anybody can be a paedofile". He made up stuff that was absolutely ridiculous again and attempted to suggest it to the school nurse. Luckily she saw through him when she spoke to me and I explained about the control.

It's relentless isnt it?!

I have heard of some awful reports, even making medical and psychiatric assessments that they are not qualified to make. Wtf did cafcass pop up from and suddenly skew all the custody and protection cases.

What a waste of taxpayers money not protecting children! What's the point of telling them anything when they simply ignore you!

They also have nonvakid reason for taking his word over yours, yet they do.

Sexism and misogyny at its best.

Oh God you're all really scaring me now! Any positive stories?
I'm so worried that despite the EA abuse ongoing that they'll award him 50/50.

I know they did in my case but hopefully things have moved on since then (2014). They are supposed to recognise all forms of abuse now.
My best advice is to keep your conversation very child - centred and as hard as it is, don't slate ex.
How could you see it working with ex and contact in best interests of children? Is this something you could mention to them if you have a clear idea?
Try to stay positive as best you can ☺

Also, might sound a strange question, but does ex earn more than you? My ex does significantly and the was the real reason he went for 50:50. If so, could talk about the financial impact?

He earns 3x what I do. It's today linked to money.

How would you be able to provide home etc for kids if it went 50:50? Is that something you could mention? For me it's a nightmare x

Don't mention MONEY. At all.
Or why you think he wants so much contact, otherwise anything else you say will come across as your the jealous crazy ex.
Stick to facts stick to the dc stick to the dc daily pattern.

Depends I think. I know my situation is (hopefully) unusual but him having 50:50 meant the kids and I living in a damp rented two bed for five years whilst he remains in the five-bed executive family home. Nothing to do with jealousy, but not best interests of the children IMO.

Done. 40 mins. I stated everything very clearly with regards to dc and tried to draw everything back to that.

I did cry a lot but wasn't hysterical and did say that me and dc were both worn down by sustained abuse.

It's a bit like an exam where I will just have to wait and see what the report says.

Oh bless you hullabalooo well done.

Now whatever they report, you have to know you have done your best, and check the report for accuracy in translation and write any inaccuracies in a letter demanding it be attached to the report for the sake of accuracy.

You have done well,and don't worry about the crying, its normal after being treated abnormally and now being put through this.

Can they not see what a cunt he is that he lords it in a 5 bed exec home while you live in a 2 bed damp pit?

Nice excuse for a male.

. Have a break and

Well done hullabaloo, I'm waiting for my report now, will be a week tomorrow since I've had my call. Hope the report says what I told them on the phone.

Back in court Monday 😩

@Ella1980 it does depend on different circumstances and yours sound terrible, all I know is that I didn't receive a penny for 7 years while he worked, holiday with gf, lived at home with his parents bought a new van etc while I worked full time and looked after the dc and it didn't make one difference when I had to find extra money to send the dc with because he didn't feed them and now they are 14 &11 they still came back the other day not feed, all that happens is they come home earlier because they don't say much to him which now I understand. Dc and parents relationship is complicated

Glitter have you raised these welfare concerns with cs?

Look forward to hearing your report is an accurate reflection so you can go back to court confident of your assertions Mami

I raised it, the dc explained and told and he just said it wasn't true. He lived in a 5 bed house with his parents in a nice part of Surrey, of course it didn't seem true to anyone. He didn't abuse them and the dc were happy with him because he was fun and their dad.
Dc know what he's like and they just deal with it because he's their dad and he will once in a while spend £200 on a bag or £150 on a T-shirt.
It's not fair, it's bloody frustrating but money and court just make you look like the bad one.

It's so gross and abusive.

The whole experience is just incredibly stressful and traumatic. Solidarity mums!

Received my Cafcass report today, happy overall with the content although I would av liked to change some wording to emphasise my concerns.

Oh and also found out through this report that he has convictions! Had no idea!

Thanks for all your help through this tough time

I've got to meet cafcass in person before court soon. Any tips for meeting them?

I've got my meeting with them next week, not sure what will happen but I shall let you know

Ask for the purpose of the meeting tongive you an idea sonyou can better prepare yourself?

Absolutely note your concerns about Cafcass minimising yours and your DC s reality, in a letter to cafcass/copy to court as an addendum to be attached to the report,because its important for your DCs safety.

Stick to your real concerns around DC safety and well-being.