Ex wants to change arrangements

[Trixink]

My ex has our child (aged 7) overnight on a Wednesday. He makes his own arrangements for any before and after school club requirements he needs, as do I. We both have separate contracts with the childcare provider.

He now wants to change it so that he collects the children from me at 6pm and drops them back off with me Thursday morning at 7.30am to avoid paying any childcare that he needs on these days.

I don't feel that this is in my child's best interest as the childminder would collect from school, for me to collect them at 5pm for my ex to collect them at 6pm on the Wednesday. Then he'd drop them off with me at 7.30am, id drop them off with childminder at 8.15 and they'd be dropped off at school at 8.45am.

Am I within my right to say that due to the disruptive nature of the proposed changed Ill have them on Wednesday overnight?

I will offer an alternative of having them for a couple of hours during my contact weekends.

Grey rock?

I've written to him suggesting we go back to mediation. We've been before only 6 months ago and a memorandum of understanding was drawn up. I wanted to get our arrangement legally formalised but he was adamant that wouldn't be happening as it was just a way for me to control him.

He's responded. He won't be attending mediation, won't be attending court if I try and take him. This is only happening because I want my child maintenance and its the only way he can afford it. Hes said "These are reasonable changes due to “new” circumstances, imposed by yourself and the CMS"

Honestly.....

Tbh the point is if he doesn’t want to have dc . No court in the land will make him.

Grey rock is not really responding to anything . . In the sense if he thinks he will get any reaction he is more liable to continue ( kind of like dealing with a toddler)

I wouldn’t even reply to his last message

If he had them Wed every other week, and Fri-Mon EOW, thats at least 104 nights a year before he's had any school holiday nights. So he'd have been band 3 surely?

Now he'll only have roughly 85 nights? 26 weeks x Fri-Mon plus one weeks holidays nights? So he'd come down a band?

Am I being thick? There's every chance

Or is he now proposing he has every weekend Fri-Mon?

He had 144 nights. Now he has 120. Every other weekend consists of Friday to Monday morning.

I don't understand? He's dropped his 26 Wednesday nights, plus a load of holidays. So how is the difference only 24 nights?

How does he have 120 nights if he's only having 3 nights EOW, plus another 7 at summer?

Op he sounds like such a total shit. I’m dreading all this drama with my daughters father :(

He's maintaining Wednesday nights during term time and dropping them during school holidays.

I've got a miam meeting on Monday. I only had one in July when we went to mediatiom and had the memorandum of understanding drawn up but as it's more than 4 months ago, I have to go through the process again in order to apply to the court for a child arrangement order.

So is he collecting normal times on Wednesday ?

I am getting confused?

So was he having the dc every Wednesday or every other Wednesday? Until the recent update, your thread implied every time Wednesday

Yes, sorry he initially said he would be amending Wednesday. But no more was mentioned.

His previous arrangements were
Every other weekend
Every wednesday
Half the school holidays

His new arrangements are
Every other weekend and every Wednesday during term time
One week during the summer holidays and one week over christmas

Not an issue if this is what he wants. However, to stop further dictated changes being made I'm looking to formalise in a child arrangements order. I don't want the children to get used to the new routine, then him send another schedule stating he is having them half the holidays again a few months later, to dropping it again a few months after that.

He states thag he can't have holiday contact because I'm forcing him to move in with his partner who will be turning her dining room into a bedroom for the kids and there's no room. I'm. Forcing him into this because I want child maintenance and this is the only way he can pay it apparently.