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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

My child's father won't bring daughter back

73 replies

ImaSandyGirl · 27/12/2018 22:52

I would be grateful for some advice. There is a child arrangements order in place. I am the resident parent, my DD sees her father every other weekend and alternate Christmases. My DD has been with her father this Christmas and is due to come home tomorrow. Her father has told me she is poorly, covered in a rash and is too ill to come home and he will keep her with him until she is better. I'm so upset. Her father refuses to speak to me. Is there anything I can do or do I just have to wait until he says she can come home?

OP posts:

Santaisonthesherry · 28/12/2018 14:36

A 3 will give zero fucks about feeling ill in a car compared to being away from their dm when they should be with her.
Unless he has seen a Dr and got a letter he intents to show a court he was justified in keeping his dc when he should have returned her.

ChristmasSprite · 28/12/2018 17:22

DC should be at home with main carer when I'll and keeping DC away from DM is abuse.

Is DC home now OP?

ChristmasSprite · 28/12/2018 17:46

*ill

astoundedgoat · 28/12/2018 17:53

Have you got reason to believe he wishes to keep her permanently?

See how today goes, ask for a picture of tge rash and tomorrow go to see her. If he doesn't let you see her when you get to his house, report it again and emphasise that you are concerned for her physical well-being and insist on a welfare check.

NoIAmSpartacus · 28/12/2018 17:55

@ImaSandyGirl any update?

Villanellesproudmum · 28/12/2018 18:07

Hope you got it sorted, another one here saying I’d be at the house, although appreciate not everyone drives.

Original poster

ImaSandyGirl · 28/12/2018 23:33

Dear all, I'm sorry for the delay with the update. Thank God, my daughter is home with me. My ex agreed today to let her come home and met me half way (making me wait for him for over an hour). I think he has done all this to make me suffer and to show me that he is in control. He knew I'd be frantic, after telling me our DD was poorly and that he wouldn't let her come home until HE felt she was ready, then refusing to speak to me about it, switching his phone off or answering the phone then pretending he couldn't hear me. Of course, today he has told me that I'm a crazy woman to have got so upset about it all, and that I need help. Anyway, at least she's home now. Thank you all so much for being concerned and for your great advice.

OP posts:

Iamnobirdandnonetensnaresme · 28/12/2018 23:38

Pooh he’s a nasty bugger isn’t he!

How ill was/is your Dd?

I’d seriously be looking at going back to court if I was you. It sound like he knew how to play the system just right.

Honeyroar · 28/12/2018 23:39

And was she ill?

Original poster

ImaSandyGirl · 28/12/2018 23:44

Yes you're right Iamnobird he does know how to play the system and he also knows how to wind me up and then make out I'm some kind of loony! It turns out that DD is still a bit poorly (she was ill with a virus before xmas) and hasn't had much of an appetite, but she was fine once I got her home and ate some pizza and ice cream. She was definitely well enough to travel.

OP posts:

redastherose · 28/12/2018 23:59

I'm glad you've got her home. After this messing around I think you would be wise getting in touch with a solicitor (you may qualify for legal aid if you are in receipt of any benefits) and explain what has just happened, show them the texts or whatever you have as evidence and see if they can get something in place to stop him using this as a threat again.

ChristmasSprite · 29/12/2018 00:44

She wasnt ill enough to justify this,and isn't it just classic for this to be a setup to upset!

I hope you don't accept his lunatic abusive excuses and allegations. Hes projecting.

Maryjoyce · 29/12/2018 00:50

See a solicitor about setting up some kind of order to prevent this in the future

Weenurse · 29/12/2018 04:34

Be careful, he may be building a case against you and may be taping calls and using your messages as evidence.
I know I am paranoid 🙄

Happyinheels · 29/12/2018 09:04

So pleased your DD is home. Make sure you note all this down in case you need to build a case against your ex in the future.

DeepanKrispanEven · 29/12/2018 09:23

OP won't qualify for legal aid unless there was domestic violence involved.

MrsFoxPlus4 · 29/12/2018 09:45

I know people who had have legal aid with no DV

lis02 · 29/12/2018 10:12

You qualify for legal aid if you get certain benefits or if your income is low

Crookedcolours · 29/12/2018 10:16

What exactly is your court order?

Due to your concerns you could stop contact until he applies for it to be revised, that's what I did but there was serious abuse happening, I don't know the details of your circumstances

MissMalice · 29/12/2018 10:55

Legal aid is only available for private family law cases where there has been domestic violence. This has been the case since 2012. The only exception is mediation which is still funded for people on a low income.

GimmeGimmeHellYeah · 29/12/2018 11:03

MissMalice - not everywhere has the same rules/laws.

MrsFoxPlus4 · 29/12/2018 11:17

Hmm my mother received legal aid in 2016 to seek parental rights, no mediation. No DV. Maybe it was the low income she hadn’t worked as she was a SAHP for stepkids

MissMalice · 29/12/2018 12:24

Ah yes, I’m talking about England & Wales.

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