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Does anyone else get scared at night?

48 replies

used2bthin · 20/06/2007 22:28

I am a recently single mum and am ok with it in the day but find the evenings hard with getting DD off to bed, tidy the days mess away then the worst bit for me is locking up. I feel like a teenage babysitter, I double check doors and star worrying about everything:burglars, pyschos, fire, even ghosts! Then I think i'vemade a mistake but in the day i'm so sure its best for DD and me that we live on ouyr own.Does anyone else feel similar?

OP posts:
babyblue2 · 20/06/2007 22:30

Sometimes when DH is out I can 'hear' things. Why not get a dog and then they would bark if someone was around.

binkleandflip · 20/06/2007 22:30

Iam just like you. I live in a fairly big old house and often can't settle at night, whether my dh is home or not. I too will worry about burglars, escape routes in case of fire, my dd sleep walking, the dark and ghosts. In fact, I now have to go down alone (dh away) to let the dog out and I hate doing that as I hate looking out into the darkness outside the back door, so you're not alone in this.

charliecat · 20/06/2007 22:31

I am recently single and am sitting here with the window open and curtains, but lights off very bravely.
Got to be done.

tortoise · 20/06/2007 22:32

I used to but am so used to it now i don't get scared. I used to lay awake listenning to every little noise wondering what it was.
You will get used to it soon.

Binkle- i hate going out in the dark too. Often forget a toy is out or bunny needs food! I dash out and run back in!

NikkiBFG · 20/06/2007 22:33

I'm a complete security freak when DH does shifts!!!

Lock on bedroom door, put a table in front of living room door with a glass vase on top so that if someone were to open the door, the vase would drop and shatter....I've been known to drag the sofa so its in front of the french doors.....I have my phone on next to me and a my deoderant so I can spray any deviant that wants my fadge....and we have an alarm!!! Oh and I leave key in lock so that if anyone has a key from living there previously, they can't get in......

nanninurse · 20/06/2007 22:34

usedtobethin, I think it will pass with time, just a period of re ajustment.. Keep busy and chat to friends on the phone. stops you ruminating.

binkleandflip · 20/06/2007 22:34

Oh I am a nightmare for forgetting to feed the rabbit before it goes dark. It's fine if I'vw had a night out and am merry, I'll waltz up the end of the garden with all the time in the world (even sat out under the sprinkler with the dog at 2.30 am once after a particularly good night ) but usually I scurry up there, lob the food in and leg it back in about three seconds flat!

pepsi · 20/06/2007 22:34

I get scared with dh is away. Always double check locks etc, What helps me is to have my house keys and phone right next to the bed and a big torch case of a power cut. Always set the alarm too....although if it ever went off I dont know what I would do! Cant help other than that but you are certainly not the only one.

used2bthin · 20/06/2007 22:35

I can't have pets as we're in rented accomodation and the landlord doesn't even allow pictures on the wall! Thats a whole other thread but no pets tho i agree they do help. We often have no neighbours either side and i hate this hot weather at night as i am torn between overheating dd or opening the window which is directly above the porch and so a big security risk. Then every noise i hear i think its someone breaking in.

OP posts:
newlifenewname · 20/06/2007 22:36

I'm just the same. I put every possible lock on and the chain whereas when with exdp I left the back door unlocked at night. I even leave the landing light on and run from the light switch to my bed at night.

used2bthin · 20/06/2007 22:36

oh torch is v good idea. We often get power cuts actually. Always have my phone and now have laptop up here too so thats helping as feel less alone iyswim!

OP posts:
used2bthin · 20/06/2007 22:39

nlnn i have the landing and sometimes sitting room lights on too!! Often phone a friend as i lock up as find it too scary but he can't always talk me through it!

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NikkiBFG · 20/06/2007 22:39

You need to get some of those window alarms -they go off when the window catch is opened. I don't think they would ruin the windows so no probs in a rented property.

Also, maybe you could ask landlord if you can fit security lights front and back? I would also put a sticker on the door saying 'beware the dog' even if you don't have one! Trying to think of other things.....but brain is slowly!!!

pepsi · 20/06/2007 22:40

Ive got a digital tv in teh bedroom and a sleep function so I listen to the radio and fall asleep to that.....I live talksport or five live as at night they are talking about current topics...not sport....I like to listen to their comments and then think what I think, takes my mind of everything and before I know it Im asleep.

pepsi · 20/06/2007 22:41

How about locking up whilst its still light, I do that, when I go up to bath children I lock up then and do the alarm, curtains, its much less scary before dark.

Catnkids · 20/06/2007 22:41

Hi, I'm exactly the same. 6 months into being single and just beginning to sleep better at night...learning to ignore the creaking of the house and any strange noises I happen to hear. My dog is a great security for me although he has been known to go ballistic barking at ridiculous hours of the morning which has completely freaked me out. One time my security lights went on in the back and I discovered he was going demented at a hedgehog!! Funny now but I was in pieces at the time. Have you got a house alarm? My mum is alone and she puts her alarm on at night. I always check the doors at night and check the kids too. The kids have the landing light on and sometimes I sleep with my bedside light on too, I also always have the telly on at night - it's on a sleep timer so I can nod off with it as background noise.

I'm so glad it's not just me that's a scaredy cat!!

KerryMum · 20/06/2007 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NikkiBFG · 20/06/2007 22:46

My mum used to keep a hammer beside her bed...she said it would be good for smashing the double glazing if there was a fire and also for whacking any fecker that breaks in! My mum doesn't do things by halves!!

Katiekin · 20/06/2007 22:47

I have the telly on for background noise as it hides the creaks of the house and I get engrossed in something; piano, internet, good book then I am ok till I go to bed. If I stay up till 1am I fall asleep quicker so that helps. The dogs don't help; they just bark at cats or something then you are on edge and they have gone back to sleep!

KerryMum · 20/06/2007 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

used2bthin · 20/06/2007 22:52

Window alarms prob wouldn't wk as got window wide open! Got security lights but no alarms i dont think. Am def going to lock up earlier as thats worst bit. Lol at dogand hedgehog! Maybe should sleep near a weapon...not sure if that kind of thing fuels the imagination though...

OP posts:
macdoodle · 20/06/2007 22:54

I love being by myself have been known to leave front door unlocked or leave patio doors open all night...we do live in a very safe suburban area in a cul de sac of terraced houses DH wants to come home not sure if I could handle him in the house anymore

NikkiBFG · 20/06/2007 22:55

I've slept with a knife under my pillow before when DH at work and then realised I may put my hand under pillow while asleep and accidently do myself some damage! What a twunt! The can of deoderant by bed a good idea though imo....

Ooh just had an idea....don't know if you have seen them but you can get these folding grill type things for fold them out at night and lock them...they would enable the window to stay open, but no-one could climb in without making a some security sites and see what you think. They may need fixing to the wall but you can always paint and polyfilla before you leave??? They fold back in the day so don't look unattractive etc... my neighbours have some actually!

KerryMum · 20/06/2007 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AbRoller · 20/06/2007 22:59

I first lived on my own at 17. I was ridiculously stupid and used to walk to the 24hr garage in the early hours of the morning and other silly things. At that age you don't (or at least I didn't) think of the dangers.

I went to Australia then when I was 19 and had the most frightening experience of my life. I thought I would die that night and have been a nervous wreck ever since.

People, including my mother, think I'm deranged but I can't help it. I'm considerably better now than years ago when I used to stay awake all night because I was petrified to sleep in the dark. At that time I used to lock every internal door in the house, tie a rope from the loft hatch to the radiator in the hall because there was an attic window, keep a can of hairspray and a lighter under my pillow along with a kitchen knife and sit 'on guard' for the night. If I fell asleep I would wake up in a sweat and have the most awful panic attacks. They were horrible years and to a great degree, the paralysing fear has stayed with much so that I've been studied (by psychology students)

My night-time routine when I'm alone is always the same, double check all windows, leave one dog out the back and bring one of them in (the one who does weewees is the lucky one that gets in) so that the front and back of the house are guarded, set alarm(monitored 24hrs), lock all internal doors (with keys left in place in case of fire), bring panic button to bed, landing light on, dd into my bed, lock bedroom door, use the remote to check that I have DEFINATELY set the alarm, turn on the tv so I don't feel so alone but no sound in case I don't hear something I should. Worry that someone will poison my dog out the back with rank meat and get in to us, then usually wake up thanking my Nana for watching over us that night.

Post traumatic stress, it rules my life no matter how irrational I know I'm being. It's a nightmare.

Sorry thats so long.

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