Does anyone else get scared at night?

[used2bthin]

I am a recently single mum and am ok with it in the day but find the evenings hard with getting DD off to bed, tidy the days mess away then the worst bit for me is locking up. I feel like a teenage babysitter, I double check doors and star worrying about everything:burglars, pyschos, fire, even ghosts! Then I think i'vemade a mistake but in the day i'm so sure its best for DD and me that we live on ouyr own.Does anyone else feel similar?

Wow folding grill things! Wish the neighbours were about more, i like terraced housing cos u don't feel so alone but no good if they're never there, pigs! (mine's terraced on cul de sac but with pathway through park thing nearby) Glad i'm not the only one who hates this time of night, sounds like u get more used to it though? I lived with my parents before here so am not used to it.

Awww Ab

Ab thats some security! Am beginning to panic about the open window but don't see what else i can do. Will get a fan tomorrow, keep meaning to do it.

Ab i know how it is to force yourself to stay awake all night, had it when got completely obseesed with something happening to DD and its awful poor u having to cope with it so long, you sound like u feel better than then though?

www.safeguardsecurity.co.uk I can't do links so you will have to type it in!

You can see the window grilles in action....think they need to be fitted though...but worth at least a look?

AbR that is terrible, poor you!

My paranoia is partly because of fear after exdp became rather 'murderous' in his thinking and was lurking outside our house in the middle of nowhere.

Thanks. So no burglars or psychos, not sure what to do about hte ghosts... Have stopped watching or reading scary stuff. Used to love it hence mad imagination!

Message withdrawn

nlnn! Thats awful. I had a particularly nasty ex years ago who used to ring and say he was in the house and other creepy stuff after i ended it. Still lived with parents then so not quite as bad.

Yorkiegirl sorry about your DH. Going upstairs earlier is a good idea, i never fee scared when dd awake strangely. We're in the same room still and at the moment i can't imagine that changing.

Dp works shift so I'm on my own a lot at night. It's horrible but I'm getting used to it. I need the routine. Even when he's here I have to double check the locks after he's done it (which he hates cos it implies he can't lock a window the way I do )

I live in screaming distance of lots of people which helps - I would die of sleep deprivation if I lived in an isolated house.

I wouldn't mind so much if I thought I had the right to protect myself and my dd at whatever cost but to add insult to past injury, the law says I could end up in prison if I killed someone trying to protect dd and I...WTF

Don't think I'd care much either if I thought it was just some muppet looking for the tv, hell I'd even make the fucker a cuppa to help him on his way quicker, it's the thought that they'd want to physically hurt us that scares the crap outa me. As I said if I could kill him stone dead - no bother, I'm a big girl and I used to be a bouncer but I can't do that cos I'd loose dd when I'd go to prison

Sorry, I know I come across as though I'm cracked in the head, promise I'm not, just scared and angry at a system that seems to protect the bad guys

Right am going to attempt sleep. Have taken my medised (becoming a habit-makes me tootired to worry!)thanks to all for the advice and hope u all get a peaceful nights sleep.

I spent so long writing my last post, I didn't see most of the others.......

won't respond individually but thanks to all for the hugs. Sorry to hear some other stories, I wish all of you the best.

Take care ladies

Abroller: while I understand that fears such as yours are irrational (not putting you down in the least, it sounds horrible and I do hope it gets better with time) and therefore not necessarily helped by logic: the vast majority of household intruders want to take things like your telly, laptop, cash etc and would far rather run away than fight with you. And while there have been one or two bad cases of misapplied law on 'reasonable force', most juries etc would take the side of a woman with a kid fighting back against an intruder with whatever came to hand.

I don't know how old your DCs are but do you have any free time that you might fit some sort of self-defence class into? These classes don't just teach you how to fight off attackers, they work wonders on your mind and your fears as well.

Madamez thanks for that, I live in Ireland though and have asked friends who work in the police service and they say, in terms of 'reasonable force' that you have to have been seen as retreating for it to stand up in court. Thing is, if someone got in and I was on my own, I'd stay put and hope for the best but with dd I think I'd have to go and confront if I heard someone coming up the stairs. I'd have the advantage of height and be better able to fight as opposed to letting them come all the way and overpower me but in doing that, I'm not retreating, so could face prison.

I'm going to stop now because noone will take to me again - I'm sounding crazy, even I recognise that.

I appreciate what you're saying Madamez and I know you're right, that's the crap thing - it's an irrational fear but I can't erase it.

Good idea with the self-defence, dd's friends go to a local class and it might be something worthwhile and fun for us girls to do together.

I'm off to do the usual rounds. Thanks for chatting, take care

Keep doing that, meant 'noone will talk to me'.

I'm terrible! I hear my neighbours pretty clearly & keep panicking that someone has got in & is creaking about downstairs!

Abroller: unless you have major anger issues (which, OK, given a past awful experience you might have) you are more likely to stop as soon as the intruder runs away, which most intruders will do - so unlikely to lead to police trouble for you.

I'm a lone parent too, but lived alone for 13 years before having DS (and did at least have 6 months living with my folks when he was born, which was good) - but my irrational fear is less of intruders than of me dropping dead and how long a hungry DS would have to yell beside my corpse before someone came and got him....

(oh shit, really sorry if that's put a nasty thought into anyone else's head)

Morning Kerry, yes I'm in Ireland.

Madamez, you're right, I would stop. I'm angry but not stupid .

Have deleted a whole paragraph of madness that I was falling into there!

Sorry U2bt for taking over the thread

Take care all

I am thinking of moving to Ireland (to be with my boyfriend, who is the father of the baby-on-the-way) and the lack of a self defense plea there really bothers me. I've been in a situation, maybe a little like AbR's, where I might have died but fortunately I was older and had some self-defense training which came in handy (though more in terms of attitude and not giving up than any physical technique). Anyway, if faced with such a situation again, especially if my child were threatened as well as myself, I would not hesitate to stop the attacker by any means necessary, including killing him. I mean, I'd rather go to prison than die or have one of my children die or be permanently damaged because I held back in defending them or myself.

I am a little paranoid at night sometimes, but it's usually just for a few minutes and I can manage it. I have a good friend who sleeps with a sword by her bed (she knows how to use it, too).