What do you find the hardest?

[Rosegoldlilly]

Thought I'd start a thread about what you found the hardest about being a single parent.
Mine would have to be the evenings. When you want to talk to someone about you day but there's no one there. Or when you're watching tv and want to talk and laugh about it with someone but no one's there.

So what's your hardest thing?

The TV one just hit me like a ton of bricks. Me & ex from way back used to watch Big Bang together, we had the same kind of humour & we would always laugh at the same things, we split up & I remember the first week he moved out, I was watching Big Bang on my own on the couch, something made me laugh & I turned towards where he would usually sit whilst laughing, safe to say it turned to tears pretty quick! Was a lone parent for quite a while after that & the TV thing was a hang up for a while :(

Hearing about the fun things my xw and her new partner do with the kids whilst I know I can’t do the same as not safe on my own (think swimming with two kids as an example)

Why can't you go swimming with two kids?

When I’m unwell and need help with kids - feel guilty relying on others!
Other than that I much much prefer being on my own.

Being ill and nobody to take over

Nobody to discuss worries with like money

Nobody to say encouraging stuff like "This too shall pass"

Ex having an easier time than me. (Far less worries and probably far less guilt)

Nobody to discuss worries with,

Getting through the hard days, mental health wise. I mean, he was a massive lying, cheating cockhead, but on the bleak days when just being around another person would mean that the dog wouldn’t close in quite so tight, it was helpful he was there. Now I just try and try and try and try not to self harm.

Money.
Having no one to share the good times with.
DS is just starting to walk and I know I won’t get any photos cos it takes another pair of hands to help him and to take a picture.

When my child is at school.

When ds aged 2,was in paediatric intensive care with swine flu, and not moving, barely breathing, and I rang my ex to let him know.

And he said “ I’ve already put the car away. You can cope, can’t you?” I’ve never felt so alone.

Ds soon bounced back, thankfully

And nights like tonight where I’m a bit hormonal and I don’t do too well with them and I wanna drink til I black out or carve into my arms but I can’t cos I have a toddler who needs me to go to work in the morning but I’ve got no one to tell that I’m breaking apart.

Faster

I’m rewatching the bodyguard. Seems a shame not to, if I have to be on my own.

I wish people recognised that us single parents have really difficult times. I feel like they don't understand as family/friends haven't been in my position. It's hard having that person who you can talk to who understands.
Yes I get what you mean about fallen about but pulling it together because you have a little one who needs you.

No I don't think people in couples get it really. They just think she's single but they don't get how it feels or everything that comes with it

I hate it when friends say they feel like a single parent cos their DH is working away for a few days/a week. Fuck off. Just fuck off.

I hate not having someone to share the fantastic things the children do. Ex doesn’t give a shit and kids hardly see him. When they say something funny or do something sweet I would love for them to have two parents to appreciate them.

On the plus side we don’t have to live with his draining attitude anymore.

I think the hardest thing for me is being the only person responsible for my children. Things have been very difficult with DD1 and if she doesn't go to college or she disappears and I don't know where she is it is all down to me.

@Wellyboots86

I'm a single mum to 2 boys (5 And 7) and we go swimming every week, so I don't understand your one.

It’s the cumulative effect of always being in charge that gets me down. I can never relax, I am always on! And with a DS with lots of problems it is really hard when he is bullying me and he is bigger than me.

for everyone. People font realise what we go through and how lonely it can be x

spacefighter and Iamtomisbehave1 kid says are 2&3 and not independently swimming yet so whoever I’m not holding would be at risk of drowning. Sorry, thought I’d put their ages in first post

My swimming pool won't allow one adult to supervise more than one under 5. As mine are 1 and 3 I can't take them swimming.

I have felt ill this week and kids been a nightmare at bedtimes . Would be nice to have someone putting them to bed while rested .

I hate it when friends say they feel like a single parent cos their DH is working away for a few days/a week. Fuck off. Just fuck off.

Absolutely this Faster
It's the mental & emotional exhaustion of having to do it all, on your own. It's hard for those parents but it's NOT the same.

My dad died 2 months ago. I have a busy fulltime job & 3 kids 11,9,7 who are always with me. Love my family but they don't live close by.
I feel I can't even start to grieve as it might swallow me up & I need to keep the show in the road.
I'd really love an OH to turn to & to ask to take over when I'm not able

I just want someone to be on my side for once. To share the burden but also the joys with. The tv one hits home too. and for all x

All of my friends with children have partners. Yes I know people who are single with kids but I'm not close to them we don't spend time together. I find this hard and I never anticipated this. In the way that they're all a unit, they've got someone, they can't get it cos they're not the same.