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I hope I am right

40 replies

Stressymam · 07/10/2018 21:14

Evening all.

I hope I have posted in the right place. Apologies if I haven't. I have posted about the children's father before but this I think is the last straw for me. Quick summary so I am not rambling:

Kids go to their dads every other weekend. Have done for years. Saw the kids the first weekend in August as normal. Then when he brought them back moaned about how the kids behaved down there and that they needed to respect things and other. The kids are 6 and 7. They know right from wrong. They aren't bad kids but they do push their luck. Show me kids that age that don't. I just yeah fine I'll have a word. Then he made every excuse to not have them until Friday just gone. So what's that, 8 weeks since he saw them. But whatever. His choice.

I've never ever stopped them going down. No matter what he says or does to me I've always made sure contact was kept up with. More for the girls than him.

This afternoon he texts saying I should of warned him about youngest and her bedwetting. She has done it twice in months so never felt the need to. I always have a mat on the bed just in case. Kicks off at me saying she has ruined a mattress and she sat on the couch but never said nothing. I never texted him back because he would never listen anyways. Kids come back and we start talking about their weekend away. To which my youngest breaks down in tears. Like hysterical crying. She said her dad had smacked her for wetting the bed. Then my eldest pipes up that it was 5 times and then he threw her into a corner and she banged her head. I calmed her down and explained I would talk to her once she was calm. She went into the living room and watched the telly. Eldest says that she felt sorry for her and it made her sad. Well that was my heart in pieces. I had to walk off before I cried in front of her. Something I have never done.

After a while I went and spoke to the youngest and asked her what happened at dad's this morning. She then went on to tell me her dad hit her on her bum 3 times and her legs twice and finally hit her head before making her bang her head when he put her in the corner. She said he asked her if she done it on purpose to which she said yes (which is bull because she's never done that on purpose she's just a very heavy sleeper and she forgets to go the loo in the night) and that's when he's gone for her. She also said she was sick once on Saturday and they had a day out then he made her go to bed and never fed her anything till sunday morning for breakfast. But fed her sister. Which yeah if she was sick all day i would of brought her home not done a full day out then had her have light things to eat and plenty of fluids but I would never starve her.

He has confessed to me before that he has hit the youngest while she was sat on the toilet for wetting the bed in the past and I told him if was to ever do it again I would stop them coming down altogether and he would see them in a centre for the rest of their lives. He said he never would.

My question is, well not a question but would I be wrong to stop them going down. He's always favoured the eldest child and pushed the youngest out and now he's had a new baby he's doing the same with pushing the eldest out too. Not doing anything with them when they go down. Making them stay in their room all day. He told me they are out of control. They need fucking sorting. His words. What road do I go down. I'm going to find a solicitor but I don't know who to speak to regarding his incident. Please help. I'm desperate to protect my girls and if that means I have to do so from their own father then by christ almighty I will.

Thanks for reading xx

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Pigletthedog · 07/10/2018 22:56

Op, when the police and social care investigate, they will arrange a proper medical examination for your daughter. The paediatrician will note the injuries and advise the police as to their causation

Stressymam · 07/10/2018 23:01

I checked on her before and the marks are almost gone. Will they accept my pictures of them or what she tells them and what my eldest witnessed

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Nightwatch999 · 07/10/2018 23:01

I would report him to the Police for the prolonged assault on your DD. He smacked her 3+ times, but he then threw her into the corner where she banged her head? Sorry OP but I had heard this at work I would have a duty of care to report your ex. What a nasty piece of work he is.

MO2x · 07/10/2018 23:02

It could work just giving the excuses to him and maybe in time he just doesn't contact anymore and if he does say they've a party or a gym glass? So come see them for a few hours after at my house - then you've stul offered so he can't moan your stopping him seeing them and like you said he cba to travel but if he agreed it would supervised by you and your their to comfort them but hopefully if he can go 8 weeks and not bother. Giving excuses will hopefully let him fizzle out of trying xx

Pigletthedog · 07/10/2018 23:06

It's hard to say exactly what will happen of course. Effectively they will accept the accounts of the girls and your photo enough to investigate, if you see what I mean. I don't know what the end result would be, it would depend on a lot of factors - previous history/concerns, quality of your photos, consistency of the girls accounts, what he says etc.

You should still report it.

Stressymam · 07/10/2018 23:09

I will report it definitely because he's wrong. And a monster to do that to his own child. She doesn't want to see him again and I can live with that. I'll be in the school tomorrow morning and go from there. The new head is great and is a good listener too. I've told him everything that goes on and is always on hand for advice. Thanks to everyone for theirs. I do appreciate it xx

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Pigletthedog · 07/10/2018 23:11

Good luck Thanks

Powerless · 08/10/2018 01:09

@Stressymam You would be given full Legal Aid under the Child Abuse Gateway x

Lonecatwithkitten · 08/10/2018 08:55

I agree with everyone else about contact and SS.
But a child who occasionally wets the bed doing it 5 times in a night and vomiting during the day would make me seriously consider a UTI as a cause, preteens often do not get the usual signs of burning etc.

indisdress · 08/10/2018 09:17

@Lonecatwithkitten he hit her 5 times. She didn't wet the bed 5 times.

Lonecatwithkitten · 08/10/2018 09:53

Sorry misread that bit.

Stressymam · 08/10/2018 10:51

Spoke to head this morning and he said he was going to contact child services and early help (service were the kids can get things off their chest type thing) and he will ring me this afternoon to let me know what they said and what the next steps are.

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sue51 · 08/10/2018 11:03

Is the contact court ordered?

Stressymam · 08/10/2018 11:44

No contact was arranged between the both of us years ago. Never felt the need to involve the courts until now at least

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Stressymam · 08/10/2018 18:29

Just an update. School rang me back this afternoon and said that because he had the account of what happened to her from me and not the kids he couldn't do the referral or contact the police I had to do it. He said if the kids had said to him or another teacher then he would have a duty to report it but he advised I ring 101 and they would advise me what I should do and what they can do so I will ring them when they are in bed just in case they come round tonight. At least that way I would have a log and the school now have a log. School is going to keep and eye on the girls because obviously to them it was horrible to experience so if they needed to talk then school are there for that. Thanks again everyone for your support, guidance and advice it is once again appre iated greatly xx

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