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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Dad wants to change contact, where do I stand?

63 replies

Croatia2018 · 22/09/2018 21:25

Can anyone help me please.
Myself and ex aren’t together when I was pregnant we arranged for him to have LB every Friday night as with my job I have to work a lot of hours after normal office hours and during this one night a week Friday 6:30 to Saturday 1pm I can get all my work done and then spend quality time with LB. ex has now informed me that he wants to have LB every other weekend, ex states that LB does not see enough of his siblings (who he has every other weekend) I’ve always told ex he can have LB all day on a Saturday so he can spend more time with siblings, ex sees his other children on a Monday and Wednesday at his nans house I’ve also told ex that he can take LB there as well so he can see more of his siblings which he has never done. Ex has not said that from next week he will be having LB every other weekend and basically like it or lump it. Where do I stand on this, if ex has LB every other weekend this will really impact upon my ability to do my job. Every Sunday and Saturday afternoon is mine and LB’s time together where I do not work if this changes I won’t be able to spend quality time with my LB every week as I’ll still have work to do in mine and his time, legally where do stand?

Help please!

OP posts:

Quartz2208 · 23/09/2018 11:29

then say not unless he has a night in the week as not seeing him for two weeks is not good for your son.

Original poster

Croatia2018 · 23/09/2018 11:34

A have a sort of idea of the process however I’m not 100% certain as I’ve never been involved In it, social workers don’t just hang around courts all day, the only time a social worker is at a court longer than they have to be is because there has been a delay in seeing a judge and then social workers don’t sit around twiddling their thumbs they are usually on the phone, emailing people speaking with the LA solicitor, it’s like a solicitor will specialise in a certain area of law I.E property, family law etc they will have a little knowledge of the area that they are not specialised in but are in no way experts

OP posts:

RoboJesus · 23/09/2018 11:34

If it's been working well as is for a long time and nothing has changed a court would want to keep it as is. Your pick up time might move later though

UserNr385 · 23/09/2018 11:54

He's not spending enough time with the children right now. You know that.

Original poster

Croatia2018 · 23/09/2018 12:02

Whose not spending enough time with each other?

OP posts:

Starlight345 · 23/09/2018 15:01

Gosh you have been given a hard time op.

I do think saying let’s sit down and work out a way that works for you both. Nrp comes in demanding things change and how not ok. I don’t think his request is unreasonable however I do think the way he has approached it is.

I would get legal advice op.

Original poster

Croatia2018 · 23/09/2018 16:27

Thanks I will be seeking legal advice this week and having a plan of action put in place as ex has said due to him being away with his other 2 children this week it’s my weekend coming and his the week after whether I like it or not and as I know ex when I do go to collect LB as usual on the Saturday he will inform me that he’s out and I can’t collect him until Sunday, there will be no compromise involved at all

OP posts:

Nightwatch999 · 24/09/2018 22:27

OP start listening! You seem to to repeat the same thing over and over in the hope one of us would give you the answer you want!

Joe66 · 24/09/2018 22:40

This is so bloody typical. Its fine for the ex to only have the child once during the week and eow, and its fine for people to say the Ops job is impacting on her child, but what about the ex who isn't exactly stepping up and taking responsibility for childcare is he? or she the rest of the week. One night during the week. 1 out of 5. How bloody sexist some of the posters on here are. As if its the Ops full responsibility because she's a woman and the ex can't do mornings because he has to go to work. And we all know how much more important his bloody work is. End of rant.

Original poster

Croatia2018 · 25/09/2018 10:05

Seriously @Nightwatch999 do you go about your normal day criticising other people? I havent meant to repeat myself but when people have asked questions I’ve responded and yes that may include things I’ve already said previously. I’ve never been able to understand people who comment negatively on things posted online instead of offering constructive advice, it literally doesn’t cost anything to be nice to other people.

OP posts:

weeman13 · 25/09/2018 11:21

Hi.. I need help for similar problem... no idea how to start with legal advice...can anybody advise... thanks.

Original poster

Croatia2018 · 25/09/2018 14:32

Hi @weeman13 I rang my local solicitors who specialise in family law, I had a free 1 hour consultation and we are taking it from there, not all solicitors offer a free consultation, good luck x

OP posts:

weeman13 · 25/09/2018 14:44

Thanks.. I will try that..

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