I hate him

[twinniemum]

I hate for not trying as he promised, i hate him for no longer caring, i hate him for saying he no longer knows how he feels about me, i hate him for messing me around. why didnt he just leave when he said he was leaving? why did he have to come back? (the next day) why has he messed me around for the last 6 weeks? I hate him and i will never forgive him.

It will look a bit better for you in the morning

Hugsxxxx

i dont want to go to work tomorrow i just want to take my dt and disappear

Emotions after midnight can be bleak.

Has he had an affair?

no, but he is very good friends with a girl at work quite a bit younger than him but apparently he can talk to her. must be nice for him. but, no he's not having an affair (yet)just doesnt love me even though i have given everything up for him. more fool me, wont be doing that again.

Twinnie, I speak from years of experience.

When a woman becomes emotionally intense, most men back off. They say things they don't necessarily think or feel.

I can't glean much from your OP, but the fact that he came back suggests more than you might, at the moment, realize.

Please: I am about to give you some amazing advice.

Tomorrow morning, be calm, be normal, be kind. Be the girl he fell in love with again.

Be angry with me, if you like, for saying it, but if you do still love him (and I think you do), then just RELAX.

Do you know who told me that?

My own Dad.

There must be something still there, he came back

Desiderate has some good advice there.

Do you talk to him?? As in all feelings out in the open??

but d i have been doing that for the past 2 weeks, (when he walked out) made sure i looked nice, been really nice, and he a)hasnt noticed b)doesnt care, perhaps its my own fault for doing everything for him all these years (8)i just feel conned. he told me he was going to make an effort cause he wanted to sort things out but he hasnt. i can not remember the last time he did something for me. not even made me a drink. thats what has made it worse, the fact that he said he wanted to work it out when clearly he was taking me for a fool. feel like i have been strung along.

the weird thing is tld that we have spoken more in the last two weeks than we have in the last 6 months.

Ok, then we might be in a different area than I initially supposed.

Can I just confirm, do you love him?

yes i do love him, very much. i just hate him for all of this.

Then maybe you have churned up lots of unsaid feelings, and he is feeling a little weighed down with it all at the mo..

Have you tried letting him just talk?? And he can say all he wants to say?

With DH, i have to write everything i want to say down so that i can remember, and then we have sit down and talk and he cant interupt me.. I just say it..

Boy, twinnie. Then I don't know. He's being unresponsive, which is never a nice feeling.

Are you up for telling him to get out? It's a ruse tactic, but if a man wants you deep down, it generally works.

Quite literally, play the game. Tell him, with composure, that you're looking for a better life/love life/romance (whatever). Be calm, and convincing. Tell him you don't need him.

Rehearse, if you have to.

If his response is to leave and not come back (you have to give it at least a fortnight), then you've lost someone who didn't love you in the first place .... SO! best to get that out in the open.

My guess is that he'll come back.

In either event, don't belittle yourself twinnie.

Because you know what? He's just a bloke

i have sat and listened to him, i have made an effort, i have done what he asked, and it is not good enough.

i am not good enough

d i have kinda done all that

You're worrying me now, girl.

Please tell me that you are in your twenties?

Because I don't want to hear this from anyone older than that

we're supposed to be on holiday in 2 weeks, its already paid for

Don't think like that twinnie, i am sure you a lovely and gorgeous
Maybe it is him..

Is it really what he wants?! He needs to be honest and just say, he owes you that much!!
Tell him this, tell him to just be honest, in nice calm collective voice..

no not in my twenties, just reached above 30, sorry

you know what i dont think he really knows what he wants, not now not ever.

Well he needs to get some big bloody balls and be a man and decide now... Coz it aint fair on you!!!

Aaah, that's still cool.

Feeling small can last until at least 38!

Seriously, twinnie - there is no point in putting yourself through this. I genuinely believe that you have tried everything I've suggested.

And I guess you're not getting anywhere. And yet I fear that you're in danger of becoming a doormat for this man.

I need to go to bed now, but I would still touch on my original post. Remove your emotions from him for a while. Smell the roses, take pleasure in crap TV programmes, find stupid things to do with your kids, chill out, do some housework, do whatever.

However much you love him, he is just a man in a world full of men.

i think he has decided he would be better off without me, and i think thats that and there is nothing else i can do. if he doesnt love me, if he doesnt want to be a family what more can i do?

all i've ever wanted is for him to love me and dt