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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

No Family, Friends or Partner

54 replies

LonelyJemma · 08/07/2018 18:04

New here.

I'm a 30-odd year old mum of two with no friends, family and no partner or any male interest. Is anyone in the same boat? I just feel incredibly alone and think no one else understands how I'm feeling. Some days I'm ok but other days (like today-I've had a horrible day with these kids) I'm beyond stressed and desperate for just a weekend to myself Sad the only time I get to myself is when they're at school.

OP posts:
Tinkalilly · 08/07/2018 18:36

I am in the same boat, I'm on my own with my children and feel lonley at times, it definitely feels like I'm the only one in this situation, nice to know I'm not x

diedyediedye · 08/07/2018 21:56

No your definitely not alone I feel like that most days.

KlutzyDraconequus · 08/07/2018 21:58

I'm a single dad with a 5 year old, no friends, new town, no support...

You're not alone OP.

Where abouts are you?

EleanorMolly · 08/07/2018 23:23

I feel exactly the same...I'm only 23 and have two children 3years old and 7month old I lost all my friends after I had my first child because they always used to go out drinking and parties and I was home pregnant and alone, you are defiantly not alone xx

Wellyboots86 · 09/07/2018 08:05

Same boat here. Single dad in my 30s. People I chat to at work but no-one I see outside of it. If I’m not working I’m with the kids so no time to myself.

You’re not alone but as they get older it must get easier right?

kzmic31 · 09/07/2018 09:47

I’m the same boat, mum in my early thirties, I don’t have any family near by and recently moved so no friends either. I find it difficult at times but I’ve found even going for walks while the kids are at school helpful as it gets me out, it’s not easy and it is lonely. Does ur ex ever take the kids over night?

yummytummy · 09/07/2018 19:15

same here. it is unbearably lonely at times. especially when things go wrong and there is literally no one to help or call on or even listen. have started worrying about what would happen to kids if i get ill/sick. its horrible and some days its too overwhelming

KlutzyDraconequus · 09/07/2018 19:18

We need a support group page on FaceBook or something. Lol

Which isn't actually a bad idea actually...

diedyediedye · 09/07/2018 19:55

Where is everyone from?

kzmic31 · 09/07/2018 21:28

A Facebook page would be a great idea! I wonder how many people are in the same boat? I know what you mean about being ill it’s really difficult at times. I’m in fife.

Hiraeth17 · 10/07/2018 06:44

Me too. Family support is great but limited due to their other commitments/distance. Partner is gone. New baby. Would love a FB group!

LonelyJemma · 10/07/2018 17:41

Nice to see I'm not alone.

I live near Manchester.

OP posts:
LonelyJemma · 10/07/2018 17:44

@yummytummy I worry about that too, especially since I've started getting lots of health issues ever since I turned 30. It's scary. I didn't think I'd get any issues until I was well into my 40s or 50s. Any health scare causes incredible anxiety.

OP posts:
KlutzyDraconequus · 10/07/2018 17:50

Anyone wanting a FB group for chat, general support etc please Private Message me on here and I'll help set one up. :)
We'd need to exchange FB details, become friends on there and then set it up to start inviting people.

Wellyboots86 · 10/07/2018 18:12

Sounds like a good idea, be nice to have a sounding board for when we have bad days etc

LonelyJemma · 10/07/2018 18:39

I agree. Someone set a group up, tell us the name and we'll join Smile

OP posts:
Yummytummy123 · 10/07/2018 19:05

I'm not on Facebook is there any other way to join would love to be part of it

KlutzyDraconequus · 10/07/2018 20:05

To start a group you need at least 2 members who are Facebook friends

DyslexicNotThick · 10/07/2018 20:14

Oh count me in!
My family live abroad, I'm either at work or I'm with the kids. Obviously I love them but have lost little ol' me while bringing them up singlehandedly. Would love to be in touch with others in a similar situation.

Kingsclerelass · 13/07/2018 19:20

Yummy mummy, I got real flu last winter and couldn’t stand. My ds 9 went next door, asked them to help, and they brought me nurofen & orange juice,and organised for ds to go to school with the son of another neighbour. People can be lovely if they know you are struggling, you sometimes just need to ask for help.

LonelyJemma · 13/07/2018 20:28

Similar health situation happened to me @Kingsclerelass
I had bad heart palpitations during school hours and I knew I couldn't walk to school so I asked my neighbours when they arrived home if they would be kind to go for me and pick the kids up, straight away they agreed even though they'd just came home. They cooked them some food and agreed to watch them while I went to hospital. I was there 3h then I was discharged. I'll never forget their kindness that day.

OP posts:
MiddlingMum · 13/07/2018 20:34

I'm not in that situation, but this thread popped up on Active.

Just wanted to say that I'd always help a neighbour out if they needed it. In fact, have done so several times. People are usually more than willing to help, but don't know it's needed.

If you need help, please ask! The worst that can happen is that someone can say no.

Manxmumofthree · 14/07/2018 03:37

Up late browsing after posting about my own problems, I can't sleep :(

None of you are alone. I came out of an 11 year relationship 2 years ago. I'm 31.
I do have some family near by, and I think stereotypically I look to have lots of friends etc. I'm confident and as I work in sales and social media I am always talking to people, but I still feel weird in the evenings when my kids are in bed, or when they use to stay overnight at their dad's.

My tips would be - join some Facebook groups. Not just parenting ones. Make up, goid, fitness, wildlife - whatever floats your boat. For dad's there are car groups, sport, music etc. And don't just join. Interact. None of us are alone. Loneliness is a massive issue in the UK but people seem embarrassed to talk about it.... I'm not!

In your local area join the library, visit the charity shop, if you don't work go to the jobcentre and ask if you can get help with childcare to volunteer.
Is there a hobby you enjoy? Look for others who enjoy it on YouTube! It's not just videos anymore, it's a community, scroll under the video and comment!

I know this will vary, but it may help someone - I live in a Cornish town and we have a community centre which has book clubs, dance, film nights, ladies nights etc. Go. Be brave.

Sorry if that all comes across pushy or I make it sound easy. I think I do take my confidence for granted, I don't know how it feels but out of the handful of true friends I have a couple that struggle to get out there, make the first step etc.

Once you do it and meet a few others you will not only feel massively proud of yourself but you will begin to build a little network of like minded people that can help with the kids, go on a night out or just pop in for a coffee.

If anyone wants a facebook friend to chat random crap to send me a message :)

user9512736123 · 14/07/2018 03:39

me too.

user9512736123 · 14/07/2018 03:42

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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