Kids are 9 and 10. Split when they were 1 and 2. For most of their lives Dad wasn't really part of it much, would come in and out as and when he wanted, sometimes going 6 months or so between making contact, even though he lives very local to us and drives.
The past 18 months he has been living with a girlfriend and had a baby with her. She wanted to involve the kids so has been seeing them regularly for the past 18 months ish. Although it's been very hit and miss, broken arrangements (on their side), not caring for them properly (example: he had them Sunday night and sent them off on their school trip on Monday with no suncream or hats or water - it was extremely hot here).
DD2 has SEN and he hasn't turned up to important meetings and appointments, despite them specifically requesting his input (as part of ASD assessments). Even though he has been unemployed for the best part of a year now.
Never paid maintenance, had over £10k arrears through child maintenance service and god knows how much it would be if you added up stuff from before we went through them etc.
Generally been a bit useless tbh. They have a 2 bed flat, with their baby and her son (also SEN). So my kids sleep in the living room on blow up beds when they are there. This is ok to an extent but they don't have anywhere near enough sleep and come home exhausted and miserable. They don't do homework there, bath their, do reading or generally anything useful, they allow them to play out unsupervised which they know I'm not comfortable with, let them watch stuff they shouldn't (not too awful but stuff I wouldn't consider entirely appropriate, mainly due to them sleeping in the living room they are watching what the adults are watching), they make constant promises that they don't keep, the biggest one lately was telling them they were taking them to Disneyland, then deciding they couldn't afford it. Then promised them a UK holiday, and never got round to organising it so went for nothing instead 🙄 - honestly who does this?!
Anyway, loads and loads more issues but I'm aware the post is getting long.
His girlfriend messaged me yesterday out of the blue to say they want them Fri-Mon every other weekend. And that it's that or nothing. If I say no, they will take it to court and get it. And won't be seeing the kids until they have a court order in place.
It's all kicked off now and looks like it will be going to court. They have never mentioned being unhappy with arrangements before and literally won't discuss anything with me. I've made several other suggestions for arrangements but they say it's their way or nothing.
They have clubs or commitments most weekdays and it's a bit chaotic. I have 2 younger children also with SEN so I don't really get any quality time with them during the week. At the weekend I have respite for my most disabled son and we tend to have good quality time together, but also to get homework done etc. Having a big family, there is often some sort of birthday or whatever going on as well.
Will the courts be likely to grant them what they are demanding? I realised after we spoke what the reason is - it's just over the requirements for "shared care" meaning he won't need to pay as much maintenance. Which is what he did before by having them one night during the week (while they were mostly at a club that I fund) but now doesn't do that.