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Original poster

Ex moving in with gf

38 replies

Hullabalooo · 24/06/2018 14:27

Just that really. My EA ex is moving in with his gf after 10 months together. Although i left him, it's really affected me to hear that. Between them both they're clearing over 100k a year and I've had to fight to get cms. I'm in a place of being exhausted, broke, stressed and feeling like he's got everything so easily and my life is in tatters. She thinks he's the bees knees.

I feel like things aren't ever going to improve for me and feel so wretched that I'm bawling even though I find him repellent and don't want to be with him. How do I manage feeling so crummy and why is it affecting me so much? We split up in March 2017.

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Original poster
Hullabalooo · 28/06/2018 09:44

Thanks. I'll probably meet ow but not right now.. I'm banjaxed from raging insomnia from the situation and she's ten years younger so not feeling up to it at present

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eve34 · 28/06/2018 10:00

Just do what is right for you. Ex is ten years younger than me. And the ow ten years younger than him. Just in her twenties. We have finally settled into a routine of eow. But think it is cramping their social life. I have no beef with her. I am sure he has told her a load of lies. I just have to remain calm and consistent for the children. As I say my youngest just sees it as all very exciting. My eldest is struggling. There is so much I don't approve of but I know I have no influence over the situation. The kids are sleeping on the floor next to them or sleeping on friend's sofa last weekend. Think in time my eldest will refuse to go and I won't force him. Just have to wait and see. Hang in there

Raven88 · 28/06/2018 10:11

Forget about meeting the new GF and focus on you. It sounds like it wasn't a good relationship and you are better off without him. Meet her at a handover for a few minutes.

Original poster
Hullabalooo · 28/06/2018 21:06

Thanks all. It's really affected me and how much it's going to impact on DC.. spent all night awake and crying today.

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dogzdinner · 28/06/2018 21:37

You are allowed to be upset about this. One thing I have been told is not to fight your feelings, accept that they are to be expected but know that they will pass.

Once you can get decent sleep you'll feel better and will be able to think about this more clearly. As a pp said, children are resilient and can handle more than we realise.

headinhands · 28/06/2018 21:40

It's no surprise it's affected you. Not only was it only last year but if he was EA you need to factor in longer in recovery. Think of it like dog years Smile you have to add another 9 months for every year of twattage. I was with my Twat for 3 years. So recovery was the usual plus another 27 months.

I heard he was engaged about 8 years after the split and felt sorry for her being involved with the idiot.

eve34 · 29/06/2018 06:39

Headin hands. Love the dog years analogy. And twatary good way to start the day.

Go with your feelings they need to be got out. Gather people around you and keep talking. Because it doesn't make much sense to you. He checked out long ago. Go as no contact as you can. Remember to eat and see the doctor if you are really struggling. I had meds so I could sleep as functioning on four hours wasn't helping.
It will pass it is just going to take time. It is early days.

Original poster
Hullabalooo · 29/06/2018 18:28

Love the analogy @headinhands I did 6 years what's that in dog EA years? !

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Original poster
Hullabalooo · 29/06/2018 18:30

Thanks so much for the support. I was in such a state yesterday that I took a mental health day ( self employed so no one cares really) and spent the day with friends having a weep and getting hugs. It helped.

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Original poster
Hullabalooo · 08/07/2018 17:39

They're moving into a five storey house on the most expensive part of town!

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Original poster
Hullabalooo · 08/07/2018 17:40

And DC has said he wants to go and live with them cos dc likes the house.

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Louw12345 · 08/07/2018 22:52

My partner's ex wanted to meet me the worse thing we did. Forcing a convo and her calling my partner to me about what he does and doesn't do. She had nothing nice to say about me called me on my appearance all the time to my partner. Stopped kids from coming coz they had a good time etc. It was so draining.

With my exes gf I met her in the street and said hi. It was so much better then forcing a convo.

I wouldn't meet her just say you trust who he has around your child.

Original poster
Hullabalooo · 09/07/2018 16:56

Ok that's food for thought. I really am not in the space to meet her right now. Especially given that ea ex has told her that I'm mad.

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