AIBU to feel judgy about Mums who palm their kids off on to the Dads every weekend?

[zestyflavour]

I'm thinking of one particular person I know who's ex has the kids from Friday night through to Sunday night and also sometimes one night in the week also, I get why people agree every other weekend but seriously every weekend (oh and if they do have the kids because the dads away, then they're quick to palm the kids off on the GP's) Where does she find the time to actually spend quality time with her kids?
He also pays maintenance and has been trying to lesser the amount, but she says that's not fair as she has them more than him, how? The days she has the kids they're actually at school, so I'm guessing between hometime and bedtime that's 3-4 hours a day. I know it's none of my business and I'm being Ms judgey mcjudgey-pants but seriously it makes me feel sorry for the kids.....

My dd goes to her dad's every weekend. One week Saturday, one week Saturday and Sunday. Because her dad works either 8-5 or 2-10 shifts + 8- 12 Saturday, so it's the only possible combination. If I want to do something specific on a weekend we arrange this, e.g today I'm collecting dd early for a family party.

And yes it gives me plenty of opportunity to go out on a Saturday night, just like her dad can go out every Friday night. And the other 5 nights a week he has free

YABU. Frankly if she wants to spend her childfree time going out and getting pissed and looking for men, that's her choice. Mothers are allowed to be people and not in 'parent mode' 100% of the time- especially when they don't have their kids with them.

YANBU OP, I totally get what you mean
My friends has his children weekends and wednesday night every weeks, excluding time spent in school and including when they are asleep he actually has them 81 hours a week compared to her only having them only 48, thats not including all the random pick up and drop offs he has to do on her time or when he has to take them for weeks while she goes on holiday with her bf.
I mean he doesnt mind and would happily have his children full time but its so nasty the way she acts like she is the full time parent who does all the work and he only has them on weekends when actually he has them the most.

They sound like good parents to me! I would stay out of it, not your children therefore not your issue.

Whats wrong with a father having HIS kids the majority of the time upsideup?

PrettyLittIeThing

Nothing, like I said he would happily have them 100% of the time. What is wrong is that the mums makes out to everybody else that he hardly sees them and that she is the main parent who does all the hard work all of the time.
Every weekend and 1 day a week is a lot more than 4 days a week while they are at school.

I don't think you've considered how sexist this post is? Would you feel sorry for them, due to dad palming them off on Mum ALL WEEK? This is what they've agreed works best for them. Every other weekend means that they'd only see their dad for 2 days with a 12 day gap in between and weekdays don't always work when parents are working full time. How else would be best?

As for the maintenance, it's not the hours of the day, it's the utilities and meals that need to be paid for. She may buy all their clothes, shoes, craft stuff, school supplies etc and he might not contribute to that whatsoever meaning she's paying for the lions share. Who knows? Not you, nor any of us.

We have my 9 year old dss 50% of time (one week on/one week off)

LOADS of people say ‘poor mum’ and ‘doesn’t his mum miss him’ NO-ONE ever seems to think his dad loves him equally & is just as much his parent... or that DSS is lucky to have 2 parents who love him & want to be actively involved in his life!

If anyone suggested that DH is ‘palming him off’ for a week at his mums (or that she is doing the same in reverse) I would be and hand them their arse