AIBU to feel judgy about Mums who palm their kids off on to the Dads every weekend?

[zestyflavour]

I'm thinking of one particular person I know who's ex has the kids from Friday night through to Sunday night and also sometimes one night in the week also, I get why people agree every other weekend but seriously every weekend (oh and if they do have the kids because the dads away, then they're quick to palm the kids off on the GP's) Where does she find the time to actually spend quality time with her kids?
He also pays maintenance and has been trying to lesser the amount, but she says that's not fair as she has them more than him, how? The days she has the kids they're actually at school, so I'm guessing between hometime and bedtime that's 3-4 hours a day. I know it's none of my business and I'm being Ms judgey mcjudgey-pants but seriously it makes me feel sorry for the kids.....

YABVU

I'm sure my abusive exH new flame probably sees it this way as I can't understand why any woman would be with him otherwise

I was allowing every weekend as I got no time or headspace if I didn't. He's cut it down though to zero currently but when it did happen it was great - DC was happy, I was happy

It's not "palming" off. It's their parent!!!

Honestly I think your attitude to this women is awful.

How is she palming her children off, he is their parent!
Do you think he is awful, palming his kids off onto her during the week?

Rafals...he does pay for all of that, and in the holidays he has them as does his parents

Is HE UR for palming his kids off on their mum 3/4 days a week?

Sounds like the DC have two involved parents, and that your friend has a really good life balance. You sound jealous.

And God forbid she spends her free time having fun! Scandalous!

I'd much rather be out on the piss than looking after my two 😂😂

Such a bullshit sexist attitude. And calling yourself judgypants doesn't make it cute.

Why is it that women who are child-free for a weekend always seem to spend it 'pissed up and looking for men'. Well, according to people like you.

And here I was thinking I was being a reasonable adult who was committed to co-parent my children no matter how difficult it was to see them go every weekend.

Thanks OP, thanks for reminding me how judged every move a single mother makes is.

Oh my goodness. So much to judge.

My favourite part is her going out to get pissed and looking for men.

Tell us more op.

she uses the millions of pounds of maintenence to get spray tans and fake nails

What she does on her child free days is entirely up to her. I cannot see the sense in thinking that children splitting their time equally between their parents and having a good relationship with their father is a bad thing

I give the kids to DH at the weekend so I can go and do my job (which I love, and gives me a break from the kids). I suspect there are many reasons for your friend to do the same - so that dad can see the kids and they can see him, so she gets a break, so she can do whatever she wants etc etc. Sounds pretty good to me!

Do the kids feel sorry for themselves? We have the DSC every weekend and their GP's have them 1/2 nights a week too. The DSC love spending time with us and why wouldn't they? Their dad is their dad, why would being 'shipped off' to him make them unhappy?

Are you a new partner of the dad?

My DC are with their dad 3 out of 4 weekends as he works over 90 mins away from us Monday to Friday so it’s not practical for him to see them during the week. The don’t see a lot of him as it is so every other weekend would be worse for them. Also I will be working a Thursday to Sunday from next week so why not have the kids spend quality time with their dad while I’m working?

In regards to a closer relationship, my DC are definitely closer to me even though we haven’t hand all the “weekends of fun”.

YABVU firstly the father is being involved and being a parent! I doubt you’d even blink an eye if it was the mother that had them every weekend and once during the week. Well done to him for doing what he should and paying maintenance. My friend has this arrangement, and her ex pays her maint to enable her and HIS children to live in a nice house. Without his contributions she’s prob be living somewhere a lot smaller, in a worse area with the kids sharing bedrooms. He doesn’t do it for her he does it for his children.

You don’t know the set up or reasons so I’d be keeping my nose out of other peoples business

What has someone else's kids to do with you, and mind your own business

Wow!!

And also what Slapdasherie said.

Hahahahaha you make me laugh. My children are with their dad every weekend. Friday after school until Sunday evening. We live an hour away from each other and he works away during the week. He picks the kids up on his way home on a Friday. It works for us very well and I spend quality time with them on an evening.
We also share school holidays 50/50.
I'm sorry but my children are 50% my genetics and 50% his. So we share them. They aren't a possession.
As my ex partner earns way more than me he pays maintenance too. If he earnt the same as me I wouldn't expect maintenance.
We work well together and have a very amicable relationship, we just didn't work as a couple.

This is either a joke or some kind of weird reverse. So it's ok for a dad to only see his kids every other weekend which I personally don't think is great, how can you even bond much which kids you only see every other weekend? Yet a mum is bad if she doesn't see her kids at the weekend despite having them ALL week?! As it stands my ex doesn't see our kids at all (his own choice) do I "win" the thread for having my kids the most. eyerolls I honestly don't see how many one thinking a man having his kids every other weekend is a good thing?!

Are you the new partner op?

Or are you the father’s new partner?

^^Exactly what I was going to say!

I had that exact same arrangement when my DC were younger. I could only work weekends due to having the DC full time in the week (bar a couple of hours one evening). So I got to deal with them all week by myself then work all weekend while he had lazy/fun weekends with them. Only time I really saw them was during school holidays.

Why's the dad palming the kids off on their mum every week?

Yabvu.

Are you the dads new girl