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Original poster

Child clothing help please

46 replies

MoveOverRover90 · 10/05/2017 00:06

Hi,
Not sure if I've put this in the right place but I can't find anywhere specific to my problem.

I have a nearly 4 year old who is constantly growing (which they do, too much lol) and she is in need of new clothes and shoes.

My ESA was stopped last week due to failing my medical (I have first stage MS and fibro) and I'm really struggling to find ways to buy her these things. I've been down every avenue I can think of to get help, tried signing on to JSA while I wait for my appeal, I'm too sick for JSA so I can't get it, I've applied for a small grant from my local council and was turned down. I sold my ring that my Nana gave me to get food, gas and electric for the week so I've nothing to sell anymore.
I'm at the charity shop every day to see if they have anything in but its always the baby sized clothes and she's in age 4-5. She also has wide feet so the shoes that I see don't fit her.

My question is, are there any charities or similar that either donate clothes or do grants to buy kids clothes? I feel embarrassed asking but her clothes and shoes are getting too small, it's like she's had a ginormous growth spurt overnight. I feel ashamed walking into school with her in case people are thinking that i can't look after her. I can't afford to buy food, electric, gas AND new clothes. It's really one or the other right now and I'm already struggling with just the food and amenities.

Everything has got me down so much that I'm having to go back to the doctors next week to go back on anti depressant and anxiety medication. I've been off it for 2 years, but I was feeling so suicidal 2 days ago about everything that it's probably for the best. I never thought my moods would go this low again. I just feel like a shit mother who doesn't deserve this beautiful child. I really do want to work but I'm in so much pain daily that it's impossible right now until my pain management is sorted.

Sorry for whinging and thank you x

OP posts:
DeanKoontz · 10/05/2017 00:20

Sorry I can't help you with benefit advice, but might be able to re clothes.

What area do you live in? These kind of charities tend to be local.

Have you accessed your local food bank?

user1471549213 · 10/05/2017 00:23

Oh that sounds so hard. I'm not in the UK so don't have knowledge of the agencies there or payments available. Could you check local facebook selling pages or eBay for bundles of clothes for 4-5yr olds? I've heard of people selling clothes on them. Hopefully someone more knowledgeable will be along soon. I'm sorry you are suffering so badly. You are doing your best for your little girl.

Original poster
MoveOverRover90 · 10/05/2017 00:26

Hi DeanKoonts,
Thank you for relying to me so quickly. I'm in North Wales, near Clan Conwy (Conwy county if that is any help). I've had a look online but can only find school uniform help, not everyday clothes help so thank you so much for helping me.

I've had my maximum food bank limit in 12 months, next one I'm entitled to is in July. But that doesn't bother me too much, I'd go without before I let my daughter go hungry.

Again, thank you for helping me, I really do appreciate it x

OP posts:
Original poster
MoveOverRover90 · 10/05/2017 00:30

Hi User,

Thank you for messaging me, it means a lot just to have someone to talk if I'm honest. I have no family (we fell out last year, long story but they stood with my childhood abuser in court) so just having someone who isn't judging me means the world.

EBay is a bit too expensive for me right now, but I've seen that there is a local free cycle page so I'm going to put a wanted ad in x

OP posts:
TheFlyingFauxPas · 10/05/2017 00:32

Flowers Do you have a partner? Or as a lone parent if your little one is only 3 can you claim income support?

weatherbomb · 10/05/2017 00:34

is there a local mums page for your area? sometimes parents out free bundles of clothing on there.

Original poster
MoveOverRover90 · 10/05/2017 00:34

I don't have a partner no, I didn't even know about income support, I thought it had been replaced with ESA or JSA. I'll five them a ring tomorrow, thank you for that x

OP posts:
Original poster
MoveOverRover90 · 10/05/2017 00:38

I've had a look on Facebook weather bomb, but its just too out of my price range for the amount of items. I'm placing a free cycle ad tomorrow though as I've just found a local free cycle group so I'm hoping I can find something there soon x

OP posts:
TheFlyingFauxPas · 10/05/2017 00:38

Income support for you. Child tax credit for your child. Xx

DeanKoontz · 10/05/2017 00:38

I was going to suggest freecycle. Also, ask at the foodbank about clothes, they might know where to direct you. Local churches can also be helpful whether you attend or not.

Have you contacted the charity that supplies school uniform? They may get other donations, or know where does.

Good luck.

Original poster
MoveOverRover90 · 10/05/2017 00:53

Hi FauxPas, I'm calling income support tomorrow to sort that out and I'm already getting chid tax credits and child benefits. I have economy 7 storage heaters so I end up using nearly £5 a day in electric just to heat two rooms (and its a really cold and draughty flat).

Good idea DeanKoontz, I'll give them a ring tomorrow too x

OP posts:
Original poster
MoveOverRover90 · 10/05/2017 12:47

Just a quick update. I've phoned income support, I've got to go to the job centre on Friday to do the forms and then hopefully I'll have some income sorted in a couple of weeks.

I've put an ad in free cycle so I'm hoping to get a reply soon and I'd not then at least I can get some things when income support is sorted.

I'm going to see if I can get a food bank voucher tomorrow. I've had 3 in the past 12 months so I'm not too sure how that will play out so we'll see.

Sorry for being mopey, I'm trying to stay happy. Its just a bit hard right now x

OP posts:
TeaBelle · 10/05/2017 12:50

I often bag up dd's outgrown clothes and pass them to charity, but if I saw a facebook request then I would happily pass to someone in need, so definitely put a post on your local group too. Sorry, dd is younger or I would happily post you some off

Tw1nsetAndPearls · 10/05/2017 12:54

I would happily give clothes if I saw a request of Facebook. I hope you get something sorted

RadarLoveBug · 10/05/2017 13:45

Join the local Facebook mums group and ask there. I'm sure loads of people have things they could give you.

BikeRunSki · 10/05/2017 13:51

Have you contacted your HV (do they have them in Wales?) - mine collects cast offs for families in crisis. Also, NCT - they are a lot deeper than antenatal classes for affluent mums - my local branch also helps families in crisis, with clothes and equipment. Maybe your local branch does too?

RestingBitch · 10/05/2017 13:54

Try gumtree for free clothes as well. Maybe see if your local church can help? They may have had clothes that have been donated which would fit your daughter.?

tinypop4 · 10/05/2017 14:09

I have just given away a whole bunch of clothing to charity shops in this size as my Dd is just going into 5-6 😢. I think I have a bit more, I will Pm you if I can dig it out and I'll send it to you

weatherbomb · 10/05/2017 14:27

sorry OP I thought there would be some clothes for free. it happens sometimes on my local site. glad you're getting things sorted but it's so bloody hard when they grow so fast Confused

MusicToMyEars800 · 10/05/2017 14:37

OP, I am sorry to hear you are going through hard times atm Sad I wish there was someway I could help, I was about to suggest looking on freecycle but I see you've already done that. I can say if you need to chat anytime don't hesitate to pm me, I understand what you're going through.

BlackeyedSusan · 10/05/2017 18:22

can you find someone to swap them with?

if you are anywhere near a sikh temple they feed people for free.

Gvwxy · 11/05/2017 21:11

Hi do you still have a health visitor if so ask her/him for help as I have being where you are with 5 kids to feed,cloth,and footwear I know just how hard it was and yes I have used food banks and if it was not for mine I don't know how I could of got tho until my benefit was sorted out so it might be worth asking as they might be able to help you wishing you all the best xx

Tomsdottir · 28/05/2017 15:54

I'm sorry to hear that you've had such poor service through Jobcentre Plus. It's not correct to say that you can't get JSA when you're sick: it's possible to claim JSA and get up to 13 weeks of an "extended period of sickness" if you submit a fitnote. The problem arises if you try to submit a fitnote on the day you claim JSA, because in that situation you are indicating that you don't meet the conditions for JSA. The fitnote should be submitted at least one day after your claim for JSA is made. Any sensible adviser at the JC would have explained this to you. However, even more importantly, they should have advised you that you were entitled to income support. This means that you should be entitled to have your income support backdated to the date your ESA stops. Once you get a letter telling you that you are entitled to income support, you can phone the number on the letter and ask for a "mandatory reconsideration". You should do so within one month of the date you get the letter. Explain that you want the date your IS award starts to be the date your ESA stopped. Tell them that this is because you were led to believe by JC+ staff that any claim for means tested benefit would not succeed.

Give as much detail as you can remember about who you spoke to and what was said. Don't worry too much about any faff they give you about it not being their job to tell you what benefits you are entitled to Smile. The main thing is that if and when they don't change their mind at this stage, you will now have access to an independent appeal, where you have a good chance of succeeding in getting your money backdated. A CAB can also help with this. Remember - get your challenge in as quickly as possible and don't miss the deadline. You may also wish to consider making a complaint and request for compensation from the JC. If you can identify all the costs associated with their poor service - trips to the food bank, borrowing money, phone calls etc - you can ask for recompense. Your complaint can be made with the assistance of the CAB or your MP. Ultimately, it can be referred on to the Ombudsman, who has the ability also to award compensation for poor service and the resulting distress.
If this is the first time you have failed the work capability assessment for ESA, you will be entitled to ESA at the assessment rate (£73.10 a week) again once you appeal the decision. (In other words, if the DWP carry out their own review and don't change their mind, and you challenge that.) But you might decide that you want to stay on income support until the appeal - talk to the CAB about what is the better option for you.
As far as help with clothing is concerned, what used to be the discretionary social fund, which could help with grants for clothing etc for people on benefits or a low income is now administered in Wales under a scheme called the Discretionary Assistance Fund for Wales. If you look up this phrase, you will find their web page. Once your benefit is in payment, you meet the eligibility criteria for grants from the fund. Again, a CAB can help with an application - often this is the best way to proceed, as they have a lot of experience. You could also go to the Turn2us website and look at their Grantfinder tool.
I'm really sorry to hear about how shockingly badly you've been treated. Nobody should be put in the situation you've been put in - forced to choose between feeding themselves and feeding their child, having to go to food banks because of maladministration and poor decision making by JC+. People bringing up children on their own carry a huge burden for the rest of us, usually unseen and unacknowledged. You sound like a very caring and courageous parent. I hope that this is resolved soon. Flowers

Ni58 · 28/05/2017 16:17

I can send you some if you pm me your address. Away at the moment but can sort next weekend. Let me know what kinds of things you need.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 01/06/2017 18:58

Do you have a local children's centre. They have outreach workers who you might benefit from support form and also they may be able to direct donations to you. There are also children's centre grants for under 5's I hope there's one near you.