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Original poster

Fathers Day

30 replies

Fabulousdahlink · 22/04/2017 09:03

Long story short. Husband walked out to live with new partner.Nope, we had no idea. Dropped bombshell, left 30 minutes later. Has had minimal contact with kids( teen and tween) in last month and wont see them for a full day at all for seven weeks ( too busy) Not at all during half term hols. First time will be one week before fathers day when they will meet and spend the day with him and the new partner.
AIBU to resent spending money on a fathers day gift and card? Have traditionally made a special day out etc. Not feeling his parenting warrants celebration this year. Not wanting to be petty. Looking for advice before asking kids what they want to do.

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newnameoldme · 12/06/2017 12:52

i'd just tell the kids that its fathers day soon and you can give them some money towards a gift or they can earn some money from chores etc
just practical no pressure on them and no more of you expending your mental energy on him

AnnettePrice · 13/06/2017 11:00

It was ex's bday recently, DC decided that due to the amount of grief he would get from ex if he didn't get anything (as ex is the biggest man-child ever) and lack of time, DC got a card and a little present for ex.
DC saw the cost of cards so has decided buying cards is too expensive so fatherday card will be made this year.
The amusing thing is ex is so materialistic that when DC was younger and did homemade gifts ex was less than appreciative. DC knows ex won't appreciate a handmade card and he will gripe about it but DC doesn't care and thinks ex should sort out his bad attitude.
I'm so proud of DC Grin.

NotJanine · 14/06/2017 11:26

I think the handling of Father's Day depends on the reason for your separation and your subsequent relationship with ex. Also ,the age of the DCs.

This is my first year dealing with this. My ex had affairs and continued to lie to me and the DCs after we split up, although they only know a little bit about what he's done. Basically he doesn't deserve any 'greatest Dad' awards.
They are aware that it is Father's Day on Sunday, so it is up to them if they want to get him anything. I think he should just be grateful that they are still speaking to him.

NotJanine · 14/06/2017 11:26

Annette - I like your DC's thinking!

chantico · 14/06/2017 11:34

I think you remind the DC, and offer them a budget if they want to get a present.

At theirbage, they can decide how far they want to mark the occasion with him. Is he going to see them on the day?

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