It's not about you it's what's best for the children...

[Disappointednomore]

So this is a bit of a vent. I've read this statement and heard it said so often and just sometimes it gets my bloody goat. The subtext appears to be that the NRP can be a complete dick, mess you and the kids around, not see them for months on end whilst you do everything then want to see them when it's really inconvenient to you and you have to put yourself out even more. I've also read that "contact is not childcare" well it bloody well should be! I want the absolute absolute best for my DD including a good relationship with her father and I am working myself to death to that end. I'm just sick of reading these cat's bum judgey phrases that imply that just because your other half turned out to be a nob and ran off to have a life without you that now you're not entitled EVER to put yourself first because "it's what's best for the children " that counts.

[nc5002]

Yes yes and bloody so agree. And yes Christmas Day is mine, for the first year I used to run around and really facilitate - drive, pick up, change plans etc etc, he disappeared for a few years, turning up once in a blue moon off his skull - errrrm no way I was letting him see DC in that state. Then new girlfriend needs to show he is a good dad and genuinely it's all the evil ex, who won't let me blah blah. I wish I didn't listen to all those bleeding fucking hearts who did the access at all costs, it will be better for him - errrrrm no, it's been a bloody nightmare. The git moaned about weekend sports - the new GF would send abusive messages about how dreadful I was, and that it was their weekend - the sports had to go as it was soooooo unfair. The yelling at me for not forcing DC to phone them on their birthdays, the broken fucking front door, getting DC back late, filthy, underfed, unwell,..... the being dragged to mediation. Actually mediation was brilliant, I refused to go with the ex & went on my own - the mediator agreed that one day every fortnight was best - as the ex was a deadbeat low level criminal (I may add he wasn't previously, he sort of slid into that world in the absentee years).... No overnights and no court, as ex wouldn't get legal aid on their recommendation!! But yes I still have to put up with the Ill tempered knuckle dragging man child pacing up and down my street every other weekend - deliberately turning up late or early. He won't sign the DC passports out of spite, so I'll have to go to court to take the DC on holiday. Rah rah rah rah . Thank you for this thread and the opportunity to rant against the at all costs fucking brigade - I have the battle scars & when that arsehole of all arseholes goes to jail or dies (pref the second) - I will throw the party of all parties. God that feels so much better

[auntym]

Thank you for this thread. Couldn't agree more, fuck you people who invite me to put my dc first at all costs. You really have no idea what goes on. Walk a mile in my shoes and see how that goes, you self righteous arseholes. Emotionally abusive (psychologist) ex-h tries to portray "perfect dad" to the world, when he is in reality a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic bastard to the kids and I. But keep smiling and sharing care because otherwise you are not putting your children first