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Does anyone buy Xmas pressie for ex from kids?

36 replies

ginnedupmummykissingsantaclaus · 08/12/2006 11:30

When we first split up, he bought me a present from the kids (a digital camera - guilt present I think!) and I did the same.
The next few years we did the same, but when I got together with my dp he took on the job of taking the boys out to buy me a present and xp and I weren't getting on so he never bothered again.
I still buy him a present every year from the kids (usually a HMV voucher or something)
I hate doing it, but its for the kids, but I just wondered if anyone else does this and how much you spend on them?

OP posts:
RickmanAroundTheXmasTree · 08/12/2006 11:36

No, I don't. He doesn't give me enough maintenance as it is, I certainly wouldn't waste it on him!

Baconbaps · 08/12/2006 11:37

Yeah right!

Then again he's only been around to see them the last couple of years but I don't think I would have done it even when they were little. Now they're old enough to decide whether they want to give him anything or not.

I'll be struggling to buy for DDs this year let alone anyone else and certainly not a waste of space like him!

Oooh, that turned into a bit of a rant! I think you may have touched a nerve

xmasmummy · 08/12/2006 11:52

my older two dont see their dad (his choice not mine) so no to him but still see the girls dad nearly every day so he gets a pressie from all of them- the boys call him dad too

7swansaswimmingup · 08/12/2006 11:54

no cause hes an arse who takes me to court every xmas

pedilia · 08/12/2006 11:54

hell no- he doesn't pay a penny for his son

ginnedupmummykissingsantaclaus · 08/12/2006 12:10

Sorry I opened up a right can of worms here didn't I.
I think i'm too nice for my own good. He's been a complete tosser to me in the past, and every year I think I'm not doing this again, but then I think hey its christmas and they are his kids.
I'm taking ds1 (7) to town tonight to do some christmas shopping - I'll point him in the direction of something cheap and tacky I think. ("oh yes daddy really likes those!")

OP posts:
JustUsTwo · 08/12/2006 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AMAZINWOMAN · 08/12/2006 13:28

no way!!!!! all my money is for the kids, even if i spent a tenner that's a tenner less for kids

winnie · 08/12/2006 13:34

I have two children by two different men
The first x who has contributed nothing to his childs life (but grief) I've never done this for. The second x who is a wonderful Dad and has a lovely relationship with his son I always buy a present, with the help of ds, from ds.

winnie · 08/12/2006 13:36

Should add x no 2 buys me a present from ds at xmas and on my birthday and mothers day too.

Pinkchampagne · 08/12/2006 13:38

Yes I will buy something for the boys to give him for Christmas & will do the same for his 40th birthday, which is 4 days before Christmas.

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 08/12/2006 20:11

No, his Mam takes thkids for his and My Mam takes them to buy mine.For birthdays his family get me a card and money but we don't do his birthday .

nutcracker · 08/12/2006 20:14

I am, but only biscuits or choccie and only because the kids have asked if they can buy him something.

Hevtsa · 08/12/2006 23:47

I'm not too sure what to do, Daddy has only just left a couple of weeks ago, he's not really been in touch to see how his daughter is so i'm not too sure what to do.He's left us with no money and having to living with my parents so really i cat afford to buy him anything, but should i buy him smething from his daughter?? i dont know. dilema!

snowwonder · 09/12/2006 15:49

i always send nice card to him, and get him pressie, normally just box of ferrero rocher
i cant stand him, but i just rise above it and do it from our baby girl,
by the way he doesnt get me anything from her,

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 09/12/2006 20:15

Hevsta-If you have split you don't need to buy him anything.I don't think you should buy something from your dd (just buy yourself something from her instead)

lou33 · 09/12/2006 20:32


mamama · 09/12/2006 20:40

Interesting thread as I was unsure of what to do. Not-quite-XH pops around now & again but doesn't do anything for ds. Ds is only 15 months to so has no idea about christmas. Did buy him a cheapo (but meaningful) CD as he got me a mother's day gift (even if it was board books for DS!)

MistressMiggins · 10/12/2006 15:54

my ex insists on buying me cheap jewellry and this year his GF has helped choose it
Ive opened it & its awful - cant believe another woman actually likes it so think she deliberatly picked it

Ive actually bought him a cheap but really nice present.

have told him that we're not bothering from now on - sticks in my throat the thought of him choosing something

sorry if that seems ungrateful but there we are

I would much rather my mum took the kids to buy me something - she did for my birthday & it was a lovely "i love mummy" key ring

benbenandme · 10/12/2006 22:41

I do get a pressie from ds for him ... don't really care if he likes the present or not, I jus keep telling myself its teaching ds a valuable lesson (exdh is coming round xmas morning and I want to teach ds about giving rather than just receiving)

Didn't get him a fahers day presie this year ... was the first one since he left and I didn't think ds had much to thank him for this year

steffy1 · 11/12/2006 15:48

we normally buy DS father a 'token gift', and i get the same in return-last year i got a shampoo/styling gift set for around £10. i just do it to teach ds about the value of gift giving at xmas-and it keeps the lines of communication friendly as opposed to screeching at each other!

Judy1234 · 11/12/2006 16:30

No way. He has nearly £1m of our mnoey and left us with virtually nothing and pays nothing and virtually never has the chidlren. Once he's paid most of that back I might consider token gifts.

bea1 · 12/12/2006 15:08

My ex's ex used to buy novelty socks or one year a nodding Scooby Do for his car...I think I will be picking up the baton on that one and pointing DD (3) in the direction of the pink princess socks this year - she'll think they're a smashing present....

zookeeper · 12/12/2006 17:51

why shoud he pay you anything back Xenia? did you give it to him as part of a financial settlement?

MerryPiffmas · 12/12/2006 17:53

Depends my xp (ds is 12 it's his dad) is part of our family tbh
He buys for my dd with dp, we buy him something for birthdays
but only cos we like him...

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