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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Lone parents Vs single parents?

46 replies

persephonesnape · 03/12/2006 22:16

this has always bugged me a little, so I'd like your opinions.

'Lone' Parents to me denotes 'Alone' or 'Lonely'. admittedly it does feel like that sometimes . but 'single' parent denotes 'bachelor(ette) lifestyle - free, answerable to yourself!

which do you prefer? single or lone? and what are your associations with each term, apart from both types being the root of all evil according to Daily Mail readers!

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7swansaswimmingup · 03/12/2006 22:24

single parent, just says that i am single parent, plain and simple.sod the daily mail readers

iPodForLifeNotJustForChristmas · 03/12/2006 22:24

hmmmm, both can be equally descriptive depending on my mood! Someimes I feel like a feisty "single", and other times I feel very much "lone".

Hmmmm, can't think of any other preferable options though.

IWhoooooshYouamerryXmas · 03/12/2006 22:24

Well I reckon I am both!
Lone because sometimes it is lonely but single because I chose to be.

F*ck the Daily Mail readers,I am a good Mum,yes I work but my daugher is truly loved and cared for better than some dual parented families.

It is hard-but being a parent,single or otherwise is I reckon.

reindeerkid · 03/12/2006 23:02

Lone parent to me means your alone no friends etc
Single parent to me means i am the only one bringing up my children

What is the Daily Mail thing about?

lou33 · 03/12/2006 23:04

i say single

Original poster
persephonesnape · 03/12/2006 23:22

it's ok, the daily mail hasn't done anything specific (lately!) - they're just my benchmark for 'single/lone parents are cause of all society's ill's' style journalism.. :p

OP posts:
climbingrosie · 04/12/2006 14:38

Aha! I knew there was a good reason why I don't read the Daily Mail!

I'm a single parent and proud of it!! lone parent does conjour up images of lonely alone mums IMO, and I am not lonely and only alone when I choose to be!!

Aimsmum · 04/12/2006 14:55

Message withdrawn

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk · 04/12/2006 15:06

I've always preferred single parent. Although now I have a boyfriend I think I am frauding people.. I still use the term.

lou33 · 04/12/2006 18:01

i have a boyfriend but he isnt their parent and he doesnt live with me , so i am still a single parent

LittleSarah · 04/12/2006 18:16

I prefer single because I am not a lone parent, she has her dad too, but I am most definitely single!

climbingrosie · 04/12/2006 18:16

same as Lou33 I have a boyfriend but he doesn't live with me so I'm still a single parent, I'm the only one doing the parenting day in and day out!

lou33 · 04/12/2006 18:21

yes, i only see my bf at weekends, tho we speak every day

he doesnt do any parenting as i dont want him to and it isnt his job, but he brings them pressies and plays with them/takes them out etc

and exh is in cambodia atm, so am most def a single parent

i prefer it 1000 times to still being with the ex tho

climbingrosie · 04/12/2006 18:39

Me too Lou!!

I'd rather concentrate on bringing up one child than have to deal with two, which is what it was like with exp!!! What a waste of space, and he doesn't give a s**t about ds or bother to get off his lazy arse to see him, so I'm definately doing all the parenting on my own, it isn't bf's job to be involved in the parenting apart from just supporting me when he is around and developing a relationship with my ds.

Hmmm, I think I am digressing, perhaps the topic of another thread??

lou33 · 04/12/2006 18:48

lol i completely agree

lou33 · 04/12/2006 18:48

except i am bringing up 4 lol

climbingrosie · 04/12/2006 19:57

lol lou, andI bet you're doing a better job on your own than when ex was around too! I know I am!

I take my hat off to you and any other single parents out there with more than one, you are my inspiration!!

ChristmasCaroligula · 04/12/2006 20:04

They introduced the term "lone" parents to distinguish from "single" parents because lots of LP's objected to being described as single as they were divorced and they wanted to distinguish themselves from mothers who had never married at the height of the Daily Mail et al hate-campaign against them. Rather sadly, they wanted to distinguish between "deserving" lone parents and "undeserving" ones imo, hence the muddying of the waters.

Original poster
persephonesnape · 04/12/2006 20:08

oh thats intersting caroligua i didn't know that!

I wonder if it'll turn into PWCs for parent with Care in the csa terminology at some point? although if i'm being awfully PC, that implies non resident parents don't care....which is a whole different argument

OP posts:
plumflumppudding · 04/12/2006 20:10

I'm also of the single parent brigade,to me lone parent is someone who's bought up the dc from day one on their own.I class myself as a single parent because I split from their dad,and they still see him.
One thing that does puzzle me is ,my boyfriend,myself and dc are planning to all move into together in the New Year,would I still be classed as a single parent?lol

JollyOldSaintNikkielas · 04/12/2006 20:27

Well i'll go with Single and I'm divorced so that messes with the daily Mail theory!

lou33 · 04/12/2006 20:35

the daily mail is full of shit really

SamsMumLou · 04/12/2006 20:38

I agree with you plum . I say lone as his daddy didn't want to know from when i was pregnant (sorry whole other thread there ). So i have brought ds up a(lone).

Nightynight · 04/12/2006 20:59

I had a vague idea that lone parent was brought in because "single parent" meant never married and therefore a target of the Daily Express's righteous indignation.

I dont like either term really. If people ask me, I just say Im divorced. I use the lone parent term on mumsnet sometimes, but only because this section is called lone parents, really.

HazelnutsRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 04/12/2006 20:59

I have to say both. I don't have any really help with bring up 3 DC My mum did help me when I was really ill a few weeks ago but the dads are not around. XP2 was not aloud to be, though he did try at first, things were made hard for him and he moved away. The last I heard he was in a hospital/home. I don't know why he is there though. As for xp1, will he could be helping but he just does not bother to even see them now.!!

So I am a single parent as I bring up the 3DC myself and a lone parent as I do feel alone at times. XP1 as mad sure my friends don't want to be a round me, as he just gets them in trouble. well tries too.