Lone parents Vs single parents?

[persephonesnape]

this has always bugged me a little, so I'd like your opinions.

'Lone' Parents to me denotes 'Alone' or 'Lonely'. admittedly it does feel like that sometimes . but 'single' parent denotes 'bachelor(ette) lifestyle - free, answerable to yourself!

which do you prefer? single or lone? and what are your associations with each term, apart from both types being the root of all evil according to Daily Mail readers!

I say single parent because I am the single person raising my son. My X does not deserve the title of parent/father so I quite happily tell people that I am a single parent.

Am no longer a single parent (I was for 5 years) but if I still was, I'd want to be known by whichever term most offended Daily Mail readers

My sister (who had her children by donor sperm and IVF) describes herself as a single mother by choice.

I don't think it's anyone's business whether I'm married or not so I wouldn't use either term.

I agree with LittleSarah - DS's have their dad who they see regularly, therefore I would call myself "single" parent. the word "Lone" is a bit too close to how I feel sometimes though!

LMAO rantinghousewife.

Definitely "single". Loathe the Daily Mail, so would categorise myself "single" just to spite that stupid paper!!!
If pushed to qualify further, I would say I was a divorced, single parent. XH reluctantly parts with cash, but definitely doesn't "parent".

well actually this really pisses me off. Did I used to describe myself as Married Parent or Attached Parent? NO. Has my role changed? No. I feel pretty peeved at having to define my relationship with my children by whether I'm shagging a viable partner or not. Either term seems to imply a lack, somehow. Feeling a bit Millie Tant this pm!

Message withdrawn

Hmm, but I would argue that my role is different from someone with a partner Ninah. In that I'm responsible for everything, with no back up. And I therefore relate to my children differently than I would if I had a partner (quite how, I'm not quite sure, but I assume it's different iyswim)

I have to agree with Caligula I think here, my relationship with my dd is very different as to how I imagine it would be if I wasn't a single parent.. for a start it's just me and her so natural we are probably much closer - I do all the disciplining yet I do all the rewarding too. There's nobody else to take the strain although my boyf is getting more involved I am the parent. I do often have to explain my marital (or lack of) status, particularly in a work environment just one example is that I have to cancel an important meeting enxt week as it's my dd's first nativity play at exactly the same time.. sometimes I have to explain why I can't attened a 4 day meeting at the other side of the country at the drop of a hat. So I guess alot of it depends on your own circumstances iykwim.

I think in short I am trying to say that I am in an environment where I often have to explain myself and therefore my family commitments. If I was in a different situation, I perhaps wouldn't think about it so much.

enjoy your nativity mascaraOhara - don't cry toomuch ( I'm an emotional wreck at these things!)

i see what you mean about your career being limited. I haven't been able to travel for work in around six years and it does make people think you lack dedication, despite family friendly policies being touted. it reflects badly on you when you're judged against other people who can travel. it's really not an integral part of my job but it's not as if you can leave out a few paenut butter sandwhiches and leave the electric bar fire on overnight.

Actually Ninah, like a lot of people, I've been in both situations and however you wish to define yourself, it DOES make a difference whether you have shagging space in your dcs fathers bed. For a start it's a far harder job parenting on your own, it just is, no one else to take the strain, worry and responsibility. Hats off to all you ladies who do. Having done it myself I know what it's like. And yes I can see why you wouldn't want to be defined by it, but unfortunately society (and the daily mail) does define you for it. Doesn't mean it's a bad thing tho, most people are defined by one term or another anyway.

Sometimes, actually often, I think it might be harder being in a two parent family.. I'm often grateful that I don't have to run things passed someone else or have anybody to disagree/critisise my parenting. It's hard, I'm not denying that but parenting is hard whether you are 2 people or 1.

parenting alone has it's up as as well as it's downs. It's one of those things in life that is definitely a double edged sword.

Ninah, how are you? I posted on your last thread but not sure if you went back to it. You can always mail me on
mascaraohara at hotmail dot co dot uk
hope things are better now

mummypumpkin! you splitter

I'm a single parent, in that I'm not in any kind of couple relationship (and have no interest in such things anyway) but I'm not a lone parent as DS' dad sees him weekly, babysits, contributes £ etc. "lone' parent suggests (to me anyway) that the other biological parent is either deceased or otherwise totally uninvolved.
Totally agree with choosing ones terms to wind up Daily Mail readers as much as possible, though

I feel like a lone parent at the moment, just through silly things like not being able to pop out to the shops when ds is in bed and things.

Its strange because when ex was here we never spoke, we lived completely separate lives and he never supported me..but now hes gone im really feeling it!

My friends have desserted me and my family are useless...which adds to it!

'single' parent denotes 'bachelor(ette) lifestyle - free, answerable to yourself!

My SINGLE PARENT life (ex decided he didn't want to have children when i was 6 months pregnant)
6:45am - Up shower & dressed
7am - DS (nearly 3) up breakfast washed & dressed
7:45am - leave house
7:50am - return to pick up car keys & DS backpack(i swear i do this every morning)
8am - on Mon, Thurs & Fri drop DS off at nursery. On Tues & Wed drop him off at my parents
8:30am - get to work
12 noon - on mon thurs & fri collect DS from Nursery & take to my parents house. On Tues & Wed head to my parents house to have lunch with DS
12:45 - head back to work
1pm - 5pm work
5:15pm back to my parents to collect DS and take him home
6:30pm - home with DS.
7:pm - bath time for DS
7:30pm - supper & bedtime for DS
8pm - midnight - catch up on laundry, housework, ironing. Sort clothes & DS backpack for next day. Work clothes for me.
Midnight - fall into bed
This is my week from Mon - Fri. The weekend is exclusively reserved for DS with trips to the zoo, safari parks, or even just feeding the ducks in the local park. Bacherlorette lifestyle?

TT

A single parent is a parent who isn't in a relationship.

A lone parent is someone who is the 'only' parent raising the child.

your one or the other.

co-parenting, may come with its own set of problems, but logically speaking raising a child alone is much harder then it is in most circumstances where there are two parents doing the same job, with the child's best interests at heart.

I prefer solo parent to either of those options!