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Original poster

Fathers access rights

83 replies

lolly1988 · 26/08/2015 20:15

Hi there,
I've recently split with DC dad.. He is being a bit of an arse about access, not sure where I stand with it all.. I'm happy for him to see him every Saturday as I work, but it seems that's not enough now, I'm also thinking of relocating to another county where my family are for support and the area seems a lot better for my child. It's only an hour and a half away so nothing major.. Where do I stand with this too? Will I need his permission?
Any information would be great!

OP posts:
Macadaamia · 28/08/2015 11:48

Who are 'man haters'? Ridiculous

lunar1 · 28/08/2015 11:57

I'd think carefully op, I think it would be really sad for your child to take him away from his dad. If you go ahead with it I think you have to be prepared to do all the traveling, it's not fair for you to move and expect him to travel more than he does right now.

wafflyversatile · 28/08/2015 11:58

For very hands-off dads (or mums), the trad EOW + Weds eve would be a good starting point waffly. And let them justify more or build up.

But you're using that 'starting' point because you've made a judgement that very hands-off = less access. That's the wrong way round. You start with a starting point where you assume no knowledge then you bring judgement in and 'justifying' different splits.

So if you are a mediator and you walk into a room you know nothing about the ex couple in front of you. It makes no sense to start at anything else other than 50/50. Then you listen to the reasons for diverging from that split.

Also what others have said that when a couple split up lots of things can change so past arrangements aren't always relevant.

Certainly I've seen a thread on here where the mum worked long hours and the husband was main carer and after splitting she wanted to be RP (no abuse involved) and change her working hours a bit to accommodate that.

No one that I remember said, wait, you can have EOW and Wednesday eve and you have to prove yourself to justify any more than that.

THISCORROSION · 28/08/2015 14:37

Kids don't need to see their fathers in this day and age. If a child needs help with homework , or is being bullied , or needs a role model , or wants a cuddle , or wants to build a den , or wants to fly a kite , or wants to go swimming , or wants to bake cakes , or wants to watch the telly on daddy's lap , or have daddy read them a story , or go on a bike ride , or just have their dad there for whatever reason that may be ... . . . . we now have mumsnet to solve all of these problems in a few clicks. Who needs men anymore these days? Right?

Bellemere · 28/08/2015 15:48

Interesting first post, ThisCorrosion.

wafflyversatile · 28/08/2015 16:13

S/he does rather seem to have missed that most mumsnetters on this mumsnet thread are arguing for 50/50.

tigerscameatnight · 28/08/2015 17:15

Macadaamia I wasn't saying there were man haters on the thread.
What I mean is its all a bit weird and certain posts make it seem like the thread was posted in the hope we would all say yes move away, forget the father, one day a weeks fine in order for them to go look i told you Mumsnet hated fathers.
It all went a bit wrong though because most said 50/50 and were reasonable.

Of course I might just be completely paranoid following the hack Blush

limon · 30/08/2015 15:44

Yabu!! Every other weekend is nothing. Would you be happy to see your child every 14 days for two days?

50/50 is reasonable.

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