Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Anyone a single mum with 2 kids by 2 different fathers?

39 replies

frenchconnection · 26/11/2006 11:54

just wondering really..am about to split with my 2nd partner(dh) and feel like such a failure. my mum is so disappointed and is telling me to stick it out with him, but how can you when you dont love each other any more? so will be on my own again, this time forever, with 2 children with 2 different fathers. i can literally hear the old ladies tutting in the street already...

OP posts:
edam · 26/11/2006 11:58

Never mind the old ladies (and don't forget they were young once- anyone who disapproves is probably just jealous that they didn't have the chance to walk away from a bad relationship).

If the relationship has gone, it's gone. You can't live your life to please other people. And it ain't forever, it's until you feel ready for a relationship again.

xmasmummy · 26/11/2006 13:41

i am single mum of 4 kids by 2 different dads if that helps

ISawTortoiseKissingSantaClaus · 26/11/2006 13:43

I'm the same as xmasmummy.
4 DC 2 different Dads.

yentil · 26/11/2006 13:46

my mum had nine children by 4 fathers. she met a man that she has been married to for 20 years (who she has no children with) he basically was a step father to her 9 children and outsiders never gusessed we had different fathers, in fact as one of the youngest i didn't even reaslise till i was in my teens. we are all sucessful and have gone on to have loving relationships. we all have contact with our individual fathers too. it wasn't easy for my mum and she was very bitter about how her life turned out for years, and still harbours some resentment, but is mainly happy and still inlove as a pensioner.

things just don't always work out as we plan, but necessarily for the worse wither

ellesbells · 26/11/2006 15:16

yep, same here 3 kids 2 different daddy's. split from both!! dont worry bout other people, they dont have to live your life in a crap relationship do they?? whatever you do dont live to please others, not good for you or your kids

7up · 26/11/2006 15:18

2 kids, 2 dads here also.

idontlikecrusts · 26/11/2006 15:20

I'm not single but have 3 children - 2 different fathers. One of the reasosn I'm not single is because of the sense of failure...

rainbowgirl · 27/11/2006 18:43

hiya frenchconnection.. i'm 23 weeks pg with my second child, different father from dd who is almost 4. i was terrified about the 'old lady' syndrome particularly as my dp has currently gone away to sort out his head effectively leaving me holding both babies. but honestly. to hell with what people think. and most of the judgemental comments i've had, if you can call them that, are mostly to do with being a pregnant single mum rather than whether the dad is the same or different. i won't lie to you - people do ask. but they don't seem shocked. and anyway - sod them! believe me you will have many other things to worry about
your children come first hon as you know; i'm sure you are a fantastic mum and if anyone tries to tell you otherwise, you can tell them that from me!
don't worry darlin you'll be fine
hope this helps xx

lupo · 27/11/2006 21:16

Hi frenchconnection

How are you feeling today, hope all is ok

xx

lupo · 27/11/2006 21:16

Hi frenchconnection

How are you feeling today, hope all is ok

xx

happyatlast · 15/12/2006 18:52

Yep, two kids from two different fathers, and I really dont think its that uncommon these days, so many women get married etc have kids then divorce and meet someone else and have more children and then again split up with them, I'm with neither of my kids dads, am with someone else who I will not be having children with, hes had a vasectomy for one thing and I think its better that way, two is quite enough for me I think.

moondog · 15/12/2006 18:56

Hi FC.
Beside the point,but aren't you thinking of training to be a salt?

Mummypumpkin · 15/12/2006 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
frenchconnection · 16/12/2006 13:20

Moondog, hi - yes am hopefully applying for SALT pg dip at City, more stress for my already difficult life!!

OP posts:
moondog · 16/12/2006 16:02

Oh that's what I did!
Great course and great job too.
I love it.

Are you living nearby?

psychobitch · 16/12/2006 16:45

When I found out I was pregnant with DS was single with a DD who has a diff father. Was going to do it on my own and didn't care what people thought!

Haven't ended up on my own but that's more good luck than good judgement / planning .

When I asked DD's dad to move out she was only 2 and decided I would rather be on my own with her and happy than making myself miserable trying to make someone else happy.

Would make the same decision now if it came down to it X

Original poster
frenchconnection · 16/12/2006 17:51

Moondog, i live 55min train journey away from london, so not that close but not too bad.. everyone keeps telling me the 2yr course will be impossible for someone with 2 kids, but i dont wanna take 4 yrs!

OP posts:
reindeerkid · 16/12/2006 18:26

frenchconnection- I have two kids by two different dads i dont care what other people think who are they to judge.I am also single and yes its bloody hard work but they are worth it. I wish you all the best you will be great im sure. Happy Christmas

moondog · 16/12/2006 18:32

It's hard work,no coubt about it,but so are two kids.
Do you have family support?

Peridot30 · 16/12/2006 18:33

What others think of you is not important. As long as you are a good mum then f**k what anyone else says. no-one can predict what lies ahead for any of us. Happy mummy equals happy children. Good luck x

poppiesinalinewithtinsel · 16/12/2006 18:42

A friend of mine has 4 children by 4 different fathers. She is a single mum. She is a fantastic mum. And her children are lovely.

I wouldnt worry what other people think. Your business is not their business.

us · 26/02/2007 14:31

Hi i know it's an old thread, but just thought i'd drop in.
I'm a single mum of two girls from two dads of two diffrent origins.
one black one white, in some peoples eyes i have committed the worst sin.
I get comments like " their so sweet but wot a shame".
I BRUSH IT OF AND STRIDE ON IT ONLY MAKES ME WORK HARDER.

let um each your dust on the way up chick.

KirstyMumto2boys · 27/02/2007 17:00

Hiya

I'm a single mum with a 15 month old who has a different dad to my bump. My ds's dad didn't want anything to do with me when I told him I was pregnant, and by the time I was 8 months gone I had found a new bloke who I thought was lovely, until I became pregnant again and he decided to tell me that he'd been sleeping with a girl who had just turned 16.
Bump will be here in two weeks and even though it wasn't planned for my children to have different dad's the only thing that is important is that they are my sons and I love them with all my heart.

My gran doesn't approve of me having two children by two different dads at 21 but my mum also had two children by 2 different dads at 21 so she can't really comment, my mum has 4 of us with 3 different dad's so she completely supports me and knows that sometimes life doesn't work out the way you planned it...

I know I've just rambled on there so maybe I should stop now...lol

Mummypumpkin · 27/02/2007 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

us · 28/02/2007 11:23

Ya no the world is full of the "judgement crew", nice family, perfect world ba ba. it make's me want to chuck. The fact is no one no's wot goes on behind closed door's. least of all mine "nosey shit".

my two have never seen their dads, my little one would'nt no him if he past her in the street.

One is a hippy living in a bus somewhere the other a arsewipe hope fully dropped of the end of the earth.

What stops me panicing is the fact that others do it for me, so i'm free to get on with my job.

kristymumto2boys you sound like ya on the right track, all the luck in the world to ya with ya new one, i had a 3 yr and a newone at 25 on my own it was shit and totally great, nappies heaven.

let me no was happening, xxxx