Anyone a single mum with 2 kids by 2 different fathers?

[frenchconnection]

just wondering really..am about to split with my 2nd partner(dh) and feel like such a failure. my mum is so disappointed and is telling me to stick it out with him, but how can you when you dont love each other any more? so will be on my own again, this time forever, with 2 children with 2 different fathers. i can literally hear the old ladies tutting in the street already...

i'm 34 wks pg with my 2nd and have split from the father, who is not the father of ds(3), so about to become in your sitation. i hate the thought of it but have resigned myself to thinking that it's better to be happy than socially acceptable

hi i'm pregnant and have a dd(6) to a different dad, they where both planned, but i didn't realise they where both nasty peices of work until it was too late, feel very alone and yes the stigma of having 2 children to 2 different dads does worry me, added to the fact i live on a council estate but i know when i find my strength again i wont give a toss what people think, i work hard, i have an educaion, i've made bad choices in my life, but who the f**k do people think they are to judge!!!

rant over

Also have two 'almost' DS's by two different men. The elder is nearly four, the younger is due in June.
I really thought it would be different this time round, but the father turned out to be a real idiot, and I left him in November after some months of emotional abuse.
People have said to me since, 'I don't think you really ever wanted a man, did you' which makes me furious. I really, really did want a man who would stick around (without being nasty) and pregnancy alone for the second time has been hellish - hard to walk down the street without feeling ashamed. But it wasn't my fault - yes, I left him, but there were VERY good reasons for doing so! I sometimes wonder if people would rather abused women stayed with their partners, instead of seeing the signs and getting out!
It's nice to hear other people have gone on to be lucky third or fourth time, I was starting to lose hope of ever finding a man who would take us all on...

We're fortunate enough to live in a society where it is possible for a woman to end a bad relationship. For a long time I feared what others would say. But having done it I know it was the right decision. If people you don't know very well ask questions (mostly they don't) you can just smile and say , 'yes, I'm a single mum again...must be my destiny!' or something like that!

hi all who are in this situation, just read my post from the other week, was in a bit of a mood wasn't i

not much to say about it, just thought i wuld say hello

just feeling quite low about it all today..had an interview for a nanny job, and had to explain i'd split from my dh. the woman look embarrassed and said, "oh well at least you were together a long time- she assumed since the birth of my first child(my dd is 8 - but has a different dad)
So i had to say "well my dd has a different father,her dad wasnt dh, so not that long"

The womans face just fell, then it was the end of the interview!
Feel like the lowest of the low, and i just HATE explaining it to strangers.

That must have been difficult for you. I have been asked why I chose to have an 8 year gap between my children. I just say, well, that's the way it worked out,and point out how much easier it is to have a bigger spacing, than to have two young ones, then change the subject! But generally I find that people just accept the fact that I am a single mum and don't ask questions. I think you were just unlucky there; don't let it get you down, there are lots and lots of women (and, I'm sure some very 'successful' women) in our position.

i'm really struggling with it now i have ds2
i get on really well with ds1's dad most of the time, but am starting to realise how difficult ds2 will find it when ds1 goes off for time with daddy (they're off on holiday next week) and he can't go too

was ellieump btw

Ellie, i have this too.. dd goes off with her dad for the day and ds stands there sobbing at the door saying "i want to come with Man, i want Man!!" (what he calls dd's dad!) Meanwhile Man just smirks at us and loads dd into the car...

I don't think that ds1's daddy will be too bad, grandma already asks to see ds2 when I drop ds1 off, and we all go to watch daddy play football, that won't change, it's just things like holidays, had never even thought about it until packing bag for ds1 to go away next week, thankfully at 7weeks old ds2 doesn't realise just yet!

Hi
US, I’m am the same as you, but I’m early pregnancy with my second child. I can’t find anyone else online to talk to, I think I also may have depression with this pregnancy and frozen with fear and worry about how I am going to be a good mother and how I’m going to make this work. Do you have any advice? We’re you worried when you were pregnant? I know I wouldn’t be worried if I was holding my baby in my arms, and I feel ridiculous to be worried, because I’m so blessed to be pregnant. But I’m worried that I can’t manage two different fathers, the judgement of everyone towards me and my beautiful innocent children, which I think I could cope with if I could stop that from exhausting me and feeling so depressed. I really want to overcome this

I've two children to two dads, single and fine that way. Financially at the moment it's a struggle, but my children are clothed and fed and happy.

I've had some comments in the past which have been hurtful. Eldest daughter has olive skin, very dark brown eyes. Youngest daughter resembles the milky bar kid! So they look nothing alike and this has sometimes been pointed out. My girls have no concept of half-sisters. They are sisters and that's that, so my eldest has even snapped back when someone had questioned it.

It's the 21st century. We're at a time where children have aunties and uncles in the same year group at school! Don't worry about the old-school thinkers. Just be a mum and a proud one at that.